Home Again
by DocMcRegals
Summary: ***UNDER RECONSTRUCTION; TEMPORARILY DISCONTINUED***
1. Chapter 1

Los Angeles-4 Months Ago

It rained today; rain seemed to be a fitting choice as Addison Forbes Montgomery buried the love of her life. She stood in her all Black Prada dress, her matching umbrella shielding her along with 3 scared children, two standing beside her and one on her hip as the two caskets were lowered into the ground. She stood there in silence as she was greeted with condolences from her friends and colleagues, their friends and colleagues. Jake didn't have very many relatives aside from his 3 sisters so the funerals were small. She keeps forgetting that there were 2 of them that died, she keeps forgetting about Angela. Damn, life sure seemed to enjoy throwing her curveballs, didn't it? She never thought she'd be a widow, hell, she never even prepared for a divorce, not with Jake. She was sure that their love would last forever this time; unfortunately, he ended up being just another man that Addison Forbes Montgomery had loved and then lost. She's drawn out of her self-loathing state when she feels a pair of hands tugging on her dress.

Henry.

Henry is looking up at her with those eyes of his, eyes that have over the years come to remind her of Jake even though he was neither of their son biologically. He still doesn't quite understand what is happening; neither does 3-year-old Raphael. Both boys have been forever impacted by this sick, cruel thing we call life and neither is old enough to understand why.

"Mama, when's daddy coming home?" Henry is the one to ask the question this time, and each time hurts more and more. She can't quite squat down and get on his level like she wants to, not with 9-month-old Isabella in her arms gnawing at her pearl necklace. She does the best that she can and leans forward, cupping his chin with her finger and tells him,

"He isn't honey; daddy isn't coming home, ever,"

South America-3 Weeks Earlier

Jake misses Angela terribly; he still can't understand why his baby girl decided to move to South America of all places. He sighs heavily as he sits on his 12-hour flight to Brazil while scrolling through pictures on his phone. He stops on the most recent one of himself, Addison, and Henry at his pre-school graduation and smiles. It seems like just yesterday he was watching Addison proudly parade the boy around the practice. It seems like only just yesterday that he was signing the adoption papers to legally become Henry's father.

Damn, time sure does fly fast.

He smiles when he looks at how proud Addison looks in the picture; she's literally the perfect mother. His heart swells with pride as he thinks about how wonderful his wife is and thanks his lucky stars (God his mother would correct him) that he's been blessed to have this wonderful, beautiful woman in his life. He plans on it staying that way too, even though he knows that she has a deep underlying fear that things will become like a routine to them and they'll fall apart, just like they did with Derek. She's afraid that suddenly he'll realize that fatherhood isn't what he wants and he'll back out like Sam. She's afraid that her money and titles will scare him away like they did Kevin; but not without Archer's help of course.

She's even got this crazy idea that he'll suddenly become a whore and break her heart by falling in love with another, much younger woman; both Derek and Mark did that to her. He tells her she's crazy and calms her fears each time, reassuring her over and over again that he won't leave her. All he can think about is there here and now. Right now, he's on his way to Brazil to visit his daughter and two grandchildren. Don't get him started about how unhappy he is about having a grandson that's a year younger than his son.

oOoOo

"Dad, come on, it'll be fun, I promise!" Angela is trying to get him to go White water rafting with her. Jake is a rather adventurous man but, something about this just doesn't seem right.

"I don't know Ang; why don't I stay here with Raphael and Isabella? You go on and have fun with your friends," Jake suggests, glancing back at where his grandchildren are happily playing on the beach with some of Angela's friend's children.

"Dad, live a little; I'll bet you if Addison was here-"

"Oh trust me, Addison wouldn't go anywhere near a raft," Jake says with a chuckle; he's right, he knows his wife very well.

"Come on, dad, do it for me, please?" Angela is begging and he hates it when she begs; it takes him back to her being five years old again.

He sighs heavily, glances back at his grandkids who are happily playing on the beach nearby and decides,

"Why the hell not? You only live once, right?" Angela lets out a whoop of victory before she's handing Jake all of the necessary safety equipment he'll need.

Little do they know, they won't return from their trip…

oOoOo

It's summertime in Los Angeles and as usual, the practice is hosting their annual picnic in the park for their patients. Griffith Park is absolutely spectacular at Sunset with its luscious shrubbery and plush green grass. The sky has been wonderfully clear today with a cool breeze to top off what has been a perfect day. With the success of the practice over the last few years, they've made it a tradition to show their clients how much they appreciate them by hosting a fun day in the park. The practice has expanded greatly since they dissolved Oceanside Wellness and opened Seaside. Their clientele has quadrupled, revenue is flowing more than ever, doctors have been lining up to work for them, and the press surrounding the practice has been great. Charlotte loves it; press for the practice means press for the hospital.

At first, Addison was afraid of expanding the practice because she wasn't sure what kind of people she'd end up hiring, but expanding the practice has been one of the best decisions she's made. Sure, the practice isn't as cooperative as it was before, but it all worked out for the good. The new members of the practice have become part of her family as well, but it's the original crew-Sam, Naomi, Violet, Pete, Cooper, Charlotte, Amelia, Jake and Sheldon that hold her heart. It's the reason they all sit on the board of directors. She trusts them, knows that they have her best interest as well as the practice's best interest at heart.

In fact, it was Pete's idea that they start doing this, showing their patients how much they appreciate them and how much they care. They've been hosting this fun day for the last two years and each year continues to get bigger and bigger. The fun day is in full swing with lots of food, games and family entertainment. Families are gathered everywhere and the day is going perfectly. The doctors of the practice are sitting together underneath a tent chatting and preparing for their fundraiser gala that's scheduled to happen later on tonight. Everyone is occupied, either with their families or with preparations for tonight. Everyone that is except Addison; she's standing just outside of their little tent watching everything and thinking, thinking about Jake.

He's been in South America visiting Angela and the kids for two weeks now and she misses him like crazy. This is the longest they've ever been away from one another in the four and a half years they've been married. Of course, she understands that Angela is his daughter (she's hers too, has become the daughter she's always wanted in the last few years) and that he needs to spend time with her. She wishes that she and Henry could have gone with him but, the practice needed her more. She just wishes that he'd hurry home, because when he gets home, boy does she have plans for him. Plans that involve Henry not being home for a few days…

She's jarred from her thoughts when she hears her cell phone ring; she grins when Jake's name appears on the screen.

"Hey you, I was just thinking about you; how's it going? How are Angela and the kids?" Addison has walked away from the tent, not wanting her friends to hear what is sure to become a racy conversation.

"Hello? Jake, are you there?" Addison is met with silence on the other end of the phone. That's weird; Jake is usually more talkative than this.

"Hello? Jake, babe, can you hear me?" Addison frowns; maybe he pocket dialed her or one of the kids was playing on his cell phone. She's just about to hang up the phone when another voice picks up, a voice that doesn't belong to Jake.

"Hello? Is this Mrs. Jake Reilly?" Something about the voice (it's foreign with a thick accent) sends chills down her spine.

"Yes, this is she; who is this? What's going on? Where's my husband?" There's a pause; the person on the other end of the phone takes a long sigh before speaking again.

"I'm so sorry to tell you this ma'am but…your husband's been in an accident,"

 _Chapter 2 to follow…_

 **I'm baack…**


	2. Chapter 2

Seattle-4 Months Ago

Mark Sloan is a very grumpy man; you'd be one too if you'd been through what he has. He hates this, hates that he's become an invalid of sorts. God, some days he wishes he'd died in that plane crash too, but then he wouldn't be able to witness days like today.

Sofia is performing in her first ballet recital today.

"Mark, do you need any help?" Callie Torres sticks her head into his bedroom and smiles.

She's learning to be more laid back in her approach to Mark. Sure, he's been given the all-clear by his doctors to go back to work and he's completed his physical therapy, but that doesn't mean that Callie thinks he's ready emotionally to get back to his normal life. She's tried convincing him to go see a doctor, to talk about his problems but, that Mark Sloan is one stubborn jackass.

"Mark?" This time, Callie steps inside of Mark's bedroom.

She frowns when she notices just how much of a pigsty it is; when Lexie was alive, she made sure Mark was neater than this. Callie makes a mental note to hireMark a cleaning lady after they take Sofia out for her promised celebratory ice cream. They're making this work, co-parenting Sofia, though, on most days, Callie's the primary parent as well as Mark's caretaker. She's had to step up and be both since the plane crash. She's probably lost more than anyone else in that crash. That day she lost her best friend/father of her child and her wife; though they were not lost to her physically, she still lost them. She curses that damn plane crash every single fucking day; it took Mark from her and led to the beginning of the end of her relationship with Arizona.

"You were thinking about her, weren't you?" Mark asks, as Callie looks at him and smiles sadly.

"She left me, Mark, she fucking left me for fucking Malawi," Mark chuckles.

"You divorced her Torres," Callie rolls her eyes at him before making her way towards the mirror where Mark is sitting.

"She cheated on me Mark; she cheated and justified her cheating by saying that she did it because I cut off her leg. I did the right thing! If I hadn't cut off the leg it would've set up an infection and she would've died. I didn't wanna lose anyone else to that damn crash," Callie said as Mark reached up to grab her shoulder.

"You didn't lose me, Torres," Callie sighs; she hates being so transparent, especially in front of Mark.

"Mark I-"

"Ya didn't have to say it Torres, but I know you're thinking it. I know you, and Derek and everyone else wishes that I'd hurry up and get over it but-"

"Mark, that's not it; we're just…it's been almost 5 years. I just…you've done your physical therapy, you're alive, you're healing great but-"

"I'm not me anymore, am I?" Mark looks up at Callie and for a brief second, she sees the old Mark, her best friend inside those green eyes.

"No, and I miss that Mark," Callie murmurs, reaching down to give him a kiss. It breaks pretty quickly when Sofia bounds into the room.

Sofia is a particularly happy child; an exact replica of Callie with hints of Mark. She's a bright-eyed and precocious little girl, though she does have quite the temper. You'd have one too if you were half Latina and had two very headstrong parents. She's been the highlight and the saving grace for her father and the bright spot of happiness in a sea of sadness for her mother.

"Hi daddy," Sofia is virtually oblivious to her father's trauma, seeing as she was barely 2 when he had his accident.

To Sofia, her daddy's just really sad for some reason, she doesn't question it she simply does her part by making him smile every day.

"Hey, princess. You ready for your recital?" Mark seems to brighten up and become lively when Sofia comes around. He scoops her up into his arms, planting a kiss on top of her head.

"Yeah, I'm sooo ready! Are you gonna come watch me, daddy?" Looking into his daughter's brown eyes, Mark feels nothing but love for her.

"You know I'm ready; you've been dancing around the house for the last few weeks. You even had me and your mom dancing with you. Maybe we should get up on stage and dance too?" Sofia looks at Mark completely horrified.

"Daddy, no! You can't get up there; you're too big! Ballerinas are for little kids like me!" Callie stands off to the side chuckling softly as she watches the two before moving to get Sofia off of Mark's lap.

"Come on baby, we've still gotta put your hair in a bun. Tell daddy we'll see him in a little bit," Sofia gives Mark a toothy grin as she allows Callie to carry her out of the bedroom.

Once Sofia is gone he sighs heavily, glancing around his bedroom. He's moved into Callie and Arizona's old apartment. He couldn't go back to his, not after everything that happened with Lexie. It reminded him too much of her, the smell, the touch, the feel of everything. He nearly lost it when he found one of her shirts she'd left behind after their last break up. He can deal with being in Callie's apartment; it isn't as painful as living in his own. He glances around at how dirty the room is; paper plates are sitting on the dresser, his old scrubs from last night's shift are discarded on the floor near the closet, the bed is unmade and in desperate need of changing. He doesn't care, though; he can't bring himself to care, not with everything that's been going on.

He knows he should be over it by now, should be over being involved in a plane crash that nearly cost him his life. It was 5 years ago; he's alive and has so much to be grateful for, right? In his mind, sure he does; he's got his health and strength, he's got his family (Sloane came back around after she heard what happened to him; she's almost 23 now and is doing well for herself). He stands up, though his legs are a bit shaky and walks over to the closet to retrieve his shoes. He has to mentally tell himself that he won't let his depression make him miss out on a wonderful moment like this one.

He's going to start making the most out of life, even though on most days, he wishes he were dead.

oOoOo

Derek is at the trailer again.

He's been coming out here every night for the last 5 years. He comes to the trailer and sits, drinks beer and scotch and just…thinks. It's nice, to breathe in the fresh air of nature, to sit and watch the stars, listen to the cricket and just think. His life hasn't been the same since the plane crash. His hand still has tremors, Lexie died, Meredith got pregnant with Bailey, wasn't able to operate for nearly a year after the surgery, his hand still has tremors. Before that plane crash, Derek Shepherd was a god and now? Now, he's nothing. So he sits here, out on the porch of his tiny little trailer and thinks, drinks and thinks.

His eyes are closed as he allows the burning amber liquid, otherwise known as scotch, go down his throat and remove his inhibitions. Another patient died during surgery today. Sure, it wasn't his fault but, if his hand didn't have that goddamn trigger and…

Shit, his phone is ringing; should he answer it or not?

It could be Meredith; Zola's been acting out lately so he answers.

"Meredith…" there's a pause, followed by labored breathing and what appears to be a shuddering breath.

"Hello? Meredith, are you there?" Still, nothing on the other end of the phone.

"Mere? Mere, talk to me," Derek is sitting up now, placing his scotch on the side of the chair as he stands.

"Meredith-"

"It's not, it's not Meredith, it's Amy," Ah, Amelia's calling.

"Amy, what's going on?" Derek's voice is soft when he speaks to his baby sister; he's learning to get along with her more, especially after everything she went through when she went to rehab.

"Amy, talk to me; what's going on? Is Colin okay?" He knows that Amy worries for her young son every day. He's got Down Syndrome and she did drugs while she was pregnant with him. Even though Addison's reassured her that nothing else is wrong, Amy still worries.

"It's Addison…Jake's dead,"

And suddenly, Derek Shepherd's world stops.

Jake Reilly is dead.

oOoOo

"You were so good, sweetie!" Callie Torres is beaming with pride as she watches her little girl jump down off the stage and rush towards her father.

In moments like these, Sofia always goes past Callie to Mark. He's so good with her, always knowing what to say and how to say it. She also knows that Sofi seeks her father's approval because she 'doesn't want him to be sad all the time'. Callie watches the two for a few moments before stepping to the side to answer her cell phone.

"Hello? Hey, Bailey, what's up?" Callie's got a smile on her face as she talks to Bailey. Though that smile instantly drops when she hears the words,

"Jake Reilly's dead,"

Callie is in shock, doesn't even know Mark, Sofia, and Sloane (she came out to support her little sister) are standing there looking at her, asking her what's wrong. Her heart is 1,200 miles away in Los Angeles with Addison.

"Torres, what's going on?" It's Mark's hand on her shoulder that brings her back to reality.

She blinks, doing her best not to shed tears because this is supposed to be a happy night. She shouldn't ruin it for Sofia, but she can't stop thinking of Addison, and poor little Henry.

"I…not now, let's go get some ice cream, huh? We promised Sofia ice cream, right? After that amazing performance, I think she deserves some ice cream. Come on baby girl, let's go celebrate! Mami is sooo proud of you!" Callie takes Sofia from Mark's arms and holds her for a few seconds. She can imagine that Addison is holding Henry just like that; she stops when Sofia begins to protest that she's hurting her.

"Sorry honey; you know how much I love you, right Sofia?" Callie's eyes are watery but dammit she will not cry; she will not spoil this moment for her little girl by telling her that her godfather died.

"I know mama, and I love you too," This is why kids are so wonderful; they can be completely oblivious that the world around them is changing, crashing down right before their very eyes.

Mark knows something is up; she'll tell him, just not right now.

oOoOo

 _It's Addison; Jake is dead._

The words are still ringing in his head as he drives back to his place. He and Meredith were fighting when he left and, after what he's just learned, he cannot leave things like they are. His mind is on Addison right now and how devastated she must be. Amelia said she was taking it well, but it's Addison; the woman wrote a book on how to be calm in the midst of tragedy.

He can't stop thinking about Jake, or sweet little Henry. He'd only met him once, at the wedding; he's seen plenty of photos of Henry through Facebook. He thinks about his own son and his own father and how young he'd been when he watched his own father die.

Henry's barely 5, not that much younger than Amy was when their dad died. He sighs heavily, gripping his hands on the steering wheel as his wills his car to go faster, to take him straight home. After what feels like forever he finally makes it there and of course, there are people there, tons and tons of people. From the looks of it, Alex's car, and Cristina's; Jackson and April are there too.

There's another car in the yard that he doesn't recognize. Maybe Jo got another car or its one of the other interns. Maybe it's Ross or Leah or, oh hell, Derek doesn't care. All he cares about is Meredith; he has to get to Meredith. When he pulls open the door, Jo is running out of it, crying; Alex is rushing behind her, though he stands at the door with a sigh.

"What's going on?" Derek tilts his head to the side and stares at Alex, who looks like he's just seen a ghost.

"You know what? Nevermind, where's Meredith?" Alex, who now looks like he's torn between two lovers, simply points towards the living room.

When Derek reaches the living room his Meredith's house (they're renovating their house) he's shocked to find none other than Izzie Stevens standing there, along with a small dark haired little girl and a blonde headed little boy.

"Dr. Shepherd, how are you?" Izzie looks…different, to say the least. Her hair's grown back much longer, her eyes are still bright as ever. But she looks, reserved as if she's completely uncomfortable being in his house.

"Derek? What's going on? I thought-"

"Addison's husband died," He blurts it out of nowhere; it was something he couldn't keep in anymore.

"What?" Meredith is walking towards him, eyes full of shock and surprise.

"But how-"

"I don't know; Amelia didn't give me all of the details," Everyone else in the room has gone silent; Cristina even has the nerve to drop her head.

"Montgomery's husband died?" Alex is standing behind Derek, his face etched in confusion.

"What exactly did Amelia say, Derek?" Meredith is running a soothing hand up and down his forearm; she's staring into his eyes. Their previous arguments and fights mean nothing now, not after this.

"I couldn't get much out of her; she was pretty shaken up about it. You know how close she and Addie are,"

"Henry's her godson and Jake was like-"

"Another brother, I know; like I said, she didn't tell me much besides Addison was trying to hold it together. That's normal for Addie, trying to be strong even though the world has gone to hell," Meredith is still looking into his eyes, searching for something.

"Are you okay, Derek? I know how close you and Addison are and-"

"I just, I need to see Bailey; I need to hold my son," Derek's voice is low, barely a murmur.

"He's asleep right now but-"

"Please, Meredith please; I need to see Zola and Bailey," There are tears in his eyes when he pleads with her. She gets it now, Jake dying changes everything; whatever their issues were, they're over, or at least, set aside for now.

"They're upstairs in their bedrooms," Derek nods, doesn't say much as he climbs the stairs.

"Hey, Derek?" Derek glances back at Meredith, already knowing what she's about to say.

"I love you," He nods, gives her a smile before disappearing up the stairs.

Everyone else is still silent, though Izzie is the one who speaks first.

"I can't imagine-" Alex cuts her off, gives her a hateful glare.

"I can imagine; I've been there, not knowing whether or not your spouse would make it, never knowing if your spouse was dead or alive, wondering about your children…oh, wait, you didn't even tell me I had children, did you Iz?" Izzie is startled, taken aback by the harshness of his words.

"Alex, I didn't-"

"Of course, you didn't, you never do; everything is all about Izzie, Izzie, Izzie. I haven't seen or heard from you in almost 8 years and this is what you do to me? Walk on my front porch and say 'By the way Alex, I had my eggs and your sperm inseminated in me before I left, and now we have twins'!" Alex is staring hateful glares at her, his nostrils flaring out; his anger subsides when he notices the little girl cowering behind Izzie.

"I'm leaving; I'll be back Mere. If Shepherd talks to Montgomery, give her my love, will you?" Meredith nods; she watches as Alex storms out of the house, slamming the front door behind him.

Wow, what a way to start off your Friday night.

 _Chapter 3 to follow…_

 **So, if you've reached the end of this chapter, then hello! I know it's been ages since I wrote anything for Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice but, this is a fresh idea I got while I was on vacation in Houston the other week. Just to make certain things clear:**

 **This story is set in real time, meaning the upcoming Season 13 of Grey's and, if it were still on the air, what would be Season 10 of PP. As you can see, Mark and Derek are still alive, and if you paid attention in the first chapter, Pete is alive as well, but Sheldon is dead. Also, Amelia's baby lived-yeah, I'm making MAJOR changes to certain things. That's pretty much the premise of what's going on.**

 **Oh, before I forget, Seaside Wellness underwent some MAJOR changes as well. Like the fact I've decided that Addison did more than just renamed the practice; she bought out the floor beneath the practice and she's putting the 5** **th** **floor, aka what used to be Pacific Wellcare, to use. Seaside Wellness now has 3 floors,** _ **and**_ **they've got a shit ton of new doctors, whom you'll be seeing in the coming chapters. The doctors range in specialties from Pathology to Sports Medicine.**

 **Don't worry, these docs aren't major characters, they're just fresh new faces I wanted to add to the story. Now, Archer and The Captain may or may not make an appearance in this fic-I haven't decided yet. There are a few other good and bad things (I apologize in advance CharCoop fans) that have yet to be revealed, but welcome aboard this crazy train; I hope you enjoy the ride!**

 **Xx**


	3. Chapter 3

oOoOo

It was silent after Alex slammed the door, a deafening echo moving throughout the house. The three remaining women-Meredith, Cristina, and Izzie-remained silent; Izzie and Alex's two children stood behind their mother looking at the door which their father had walked out of. Izzie smiled brightly as she looked down at her children.

"It's okay guys, your dad's just upset with me, that's all," Izzie wrapped her arms around her children; her daughter's lower lip was trembling as she clung to her mother.

"Iz, it's been-" Meredith began.

"I know how long it's been Mere," Izzie snapped; she was doing all she could to not cry.

Alex had moved on with someone else, another woman, an intern to be exact, named Jo. It hurt, but she couldn't blame him; she did leave him after all. She shook her head, she couldn't think like that right now, not after what had just happened to Addison. She glanced at Meredith and Cristina; so much had changed between the two of them since she'd left. Meredith had children now; she was legally married to Derek. Cristina had been married and divorced, had aborted a child, moved to Minnesota. Everything was so different; it was silly of her to think that things would stay the same.

"Listen, Mere I'm gonna go; I'm staying at the Archfield. I'll be here for a few days; if you talk to Alex-"

"I'll tell him," Meredith said; there was a bit of compassion in her eyes as she spoke.

"Yeah, thanks; and if you and Derek talk to Addison-"

"I'll send her your condolences as well," Izzie nodded.

Turning to her children, Izzie smiled once more as she took their hands and lead them out the front door.

"Wow, did all of that just happen?" Cristina wondered aloud.

"It did; Addison's husband is dead," Meredith said quietly as Cristina sighed.

"I feel sorry for her kid, I know what it's like to lose a dad," Cristina paused for a moment and close her eyes. She allowed herself to think about when she lost her own father and for one second, she felt empathy.

"Listen, Cristina, I need to-" Cristina nodded.

"Yeah, I know; you need to be with Derek and your kids. I'm gonna go to Joe's. I'll call you tomorrow?" Meredith nodded before surprising Cristina and giving her a hug. She didn't resist, she surprised Meredith by hugging her back.

"Be safe, Cristina," Cristina nodded before she too left.

Meredith sighed as she watched Cristina get into her car; everyone was gone; Jackson and April left shortly after Derek walked in. Alex was probably out chasing after Jo and Izzie was…she still couldn't believe that Izzie had come back. She shook her head as she walked upstairs to talk to Derek. Her head and her heart hurt when she thought about what happened; she and Addison weren't best friends, but the two women had a mutual respect for one another. She couldn't stop thinking about poor Henry.

Meredith partially understood what Addison was going through; she'd almost lost Derek during the shooting and during the plane crash. She peeked into Zola's room and found it empty. She walked down the hall to Bailey's room and found Derek sitting in Bailey's rocking chair, holding both children. She could do nothing more than lean against the doorframe and smile.

Finally, there was peace in her home; everything seemed right with the world, even in the midst of tragedy.

oOoOo

Callie was still in shock.

As she sat in the booth and watched Mark and Sofia talk, her heart was broken. Addison's husband was dead; Henry lost his father. Could life really get any worse? Sloane gently touched her shoulder and startled her.

"Hey, you've been quiet for a while, what's going on?" The older Sloane got, the more she looked like her father.

"I just…something happened and, I don't know how to tell Mark and Sofia," Callie sighed heavily.

"What happened?" Sloane asked; Callie glanced over at Mark and Sofia who were happily playing.

"Bailey called; Addison's husband died," Sloane frowned for a moment, trying to recall.

"Addison? She delivered the baby and slept with my dad," Callie nodded.

"Yeah; she got married a few years ago and she has a son named Henry," Callie let out a shaky breath.

"You're scared to tell dad because of how close he and Addison were,"

" _Are_ ; Mark and Addison are very close; I drove him down there for her wedding. Addie and Jake are Sofia's godparents; she and Henry are so close," Callie said, wiping away a few tears.

"Let them have tonight, you can tell them in the morning; don't ruin Sofi's night," Sloane said as Callie agreed.

She would let them have this moment; she'd break their hearts tomorrow.

oOoOo

"Jo! Jo! Jo, please open up!" Alex banged on the door to Jo's apartment, resting his head on the cool of the door.

"Jo please, I'm sorry; I had no idea this was gonna happen!" Alex said though he got no response.

He slid down the door, resting his head on his knees. Izzie had been gone since before the shooting. How had she managed to have not one but two of his children during that time frame? How did he even know that those children were his? This was all so confusing for him.

"Jo, I'm sorry; if I'd known…" Alex groaned, resting his head in his hands.

"How the hell did I get here?" He wondered aloud.

2010

 _Life was beginning to go back to normal for once and Izzie Stevens felt like she could conquer the world. The hospital was going through a merger but still, there was no way she was gonna get fired, right? The niggling thought ran through the back of her mind; she did have cancer and she did almost die…well, she did die. There was the fact that some people in this hospital still looked at her as an incompetent doctor; she'd never be able to live down what happened with Denny. As she made her way to the chief's office, she confidently told herself that everything would be okay._

 _Except somehow, she knew it wouldn't be._

 _When she opened the door to the chief's office, her heart began to pound faster. Normally, she would've run her hands through her hair but seeing as it was still short and trying to grow back after her cancer treatments, she couldn't. She let out a shaky breath as she noticed the woman sitting across from the chief._

" _Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to see me," Izzie said; she couldn't help but notice the conspiratory look the chief and the other woman gave one another. This was bad; this was really bad she thought to herself._

" _This is Missy Grant from Human Resources," The chief said, avoiding all eye contact with Izzie. Missy gave Izzie a kind smile as the reality of what was going on hit her like a ton of bricks._

" _You're kidding me…you're firing me?!" Izzie quickly closed the door to the chief's office._

" _Stevens-"_

" _You can't do that! You can't fire me for, for having cancer, I'm pretty sure that that's five kinds of illegal!" Izzie shouted as she looked to Missy for confirmation._

" _This is not about the cancer," The chief said gently as Izzie's jaw went slack and her eyes began to water._

" _It's about the kidney patient?" Her mouth opened a closed a few times before she could begin to speak._

" _I made a mistake, I, but doctors make mistakes in this hospital every day," Izzie said._

" _Yes, but when-" Izzie moved closer to the chief's desk._

" _You let me come back after I cut an LVAD wire!" She argued._

" _That was a different era; times have changed. Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Hunt had concerns about your stamina and emotional stability, and Dr. Karev has questions about-" The chief began; this was painful to him to have to let Izzie go but he had to._

" _Alex? Alex said something to you?" Izzie felt like she had been stabbed with a knife in the chest. How could Alex do something like that to her? Her eyes filled with tears as she listened to the chief's words._

" _Dr. Webber..." Missy was there to break the tension, pulling them both out of their thoughts._

 _The chief looked torn; he didn't want to do this but his own job was on the line as well. He took a few moments before speaking._

" _In the wake of the merger with Mercy West, the needs of the hospital have changed. While performance is evaluated, the largest considerations are budgetary; there was simply no room on staff," Izzie stood there, silently crying; she was being fired and for what? Because Alex didn't feel like she was ready?_

" _Please don't do this to me; please don't take this away from me. I don't have anything left," Izzie whispered desperately._

oOoOo

Izzie sat on the bed watching as her son happily jumped on the bed he shared with his twin sister. She smiled as she watched her children play; it were as if the last few hours had never even happened for them. She sighed heavily when her cell phone rang; it was Hannah calling.

"Hannah, hey sweetie, how are you?" Over the years, Izzie and Hannah had slowly grown close. They now talked on the phone at least twice a week.

"Hey, did you guys make it to Seattle okay?" Hannah was now 22 and living on her own; she had just graduated from the University of Chicago and was preparing to enroll in graduate school.

"Yeah, we made it just fine, your brother and sister are currently jumping on the bed," Izzie replied with a smile. She heard the pause on the other end of the phone and remembered that Hannah was still getting used to looking at Izzie as a mother figure.

"Hannah, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Did you see their dad?" Hannah changed the subject quickly, not wanting to delve into that conversation again.

"I did but, it didn't go well; I showed up at a really bad time. A friend, an old colleague of ours had just lost her husband," Izzie said as her mind immediately went back to Addison.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Hannah replied; their phone conversation was pretty short after that, mostly general conversation. After she hung up, she noticed that Nicholas and Kailey were no longer jumping on the bed, but sitting side by side talking to one another.

"What are you two munchkins doing?" Izzie asked her children as she moved to sit beside them.

"Mommy, is daddy mad at us?" Kailey asked; she was only 6 but had the wisdom of someone far beyond her years.

"No sweetie, daddy's not mad at you, just me," Izzie said with a sigh as she helped both children climb into bed.

"Why's he mad at you?" Nicholas wanted to know; it was more painful to look at Nick than Katie because Nick was literally the spitting image of Alex.

"Because mommy did a stupid thing by keeping you from him for so long," Izzie replied.

"Now, lights out you two, sleep tight, I love you," Izzie turned off the light before exiting the room and making her way over to her own room.

Once she stripped down to her underwear, Izzie looked at herself hard in the mirror. So much had changed about her in the last 6 years. She was still thankfully cancer free; her hair had grown back to its usual length, but she preferred to keep it short. She had done quite well for herself after leaving Alex. She did her initial fellowship in Obstetrics but later decided to go into pediatrics. She now worked full time as an attending at a local hospital in Boston while volunteering her services to a local clinic on weekends. She bought a house in a nice neighborhood and her kids attended a good school. They had a routine, the house with the White picket fence and the dog (and a cat), but the only thing that was missing was her husband.

Correction, ex-husband.

"What am I gonna do?" Izzie sighed heavily, resting her head against the cool of the mirror.

"What the hell am I gonna do?" she whispered.

 _Chapter 4 to follow…_

* * *

 **If you noticed in the first chapter, we're starting the story 4 months in the past. We'll be living in a land of flashbacks for the majority of this fic so be prepared. Also, for all you Addison lovers, it may be a while before we get back to Addison's initial reaction to Jake's death. I want this to be an ensemble style fic, so we'll be getting everyone else's reactions as well as seeing what's been going on with them as well. It's a slow burn with no intended romantic pairing at the moment. Addek is out because Derek's happy with Mere and its gonna stay that way.**

 **It could be Maddison but, Addison and Mark are too broken to do anything but screw and in this verse** **that would be just, wrong. So Addison will probably end this fic single or her heart will have just started mending for her to try and move on.** **Anywho, this chapter (at least the Alex and Izzie parts) is dedicated to my soul sister Darley1101. I think in the next chapter, we'll head over to Seaside Wellness and get some reactions (and flashbacks) from everyone there. CharCoop fans, I apologize in advance for the pain that's about to come!**

 **Happy Reading Everyone!**

 **Xx**


	4. Chapter 4

Los Angeles:

Colin Shepherd Kerrigan loves the park; he enjoys the feel of the fresh air hitting his face, the smell of the dirt and grass and the flowers. He enjoys getting his tiny toes wet in a mud puddle he happens to find, much to his mother's chagrin. It's definitely safe to say that the park is his favorite place in the world. He's currently squealing with laughter as his soon to be stepfather pushes him on the swing set, his legs wildly kicking back and forth.

"Higher!" he signals with his hands to James.

To the side, Amelia Shepherd watches her son and fiancé interact with a huge smile on her face. This, this very moment, seeing Colin and James together, is better than anything she could've ever imagined. Her heart does ache from time to time, because truthfully, it should be his father Ryan out there playing with him; Ryan chooses not to come around anymore. He can't handle the fact that his son not only has downs but is deaf as well. Amelia shakes her head, willing herself to think on happier things, like today for example.

Today is the practice's annual picnic in the park, a tradition Addison started soon after the new practice was created. She has to hand it to Addie; she knew what the hell she was doing when she decided to rebuild the practice from scratch. It's bigger, better and definitely bringing in major clientele. It took some major adjusting to, the biggest challenge was adding on 9 new doctors, ranging in specialties from Orthopedics to Plastic Surgery, but this new group of doctors fits in well with the original crew-Addie, Amelia, Cooper, Charlotte, Violet, Sam, Naomi, and Pete. She wants to add Sheldon's name to the list but she can't, not anymore; he died two years ago in a car crash. Ironically, everyone thought it would be his cancer to kill him; not a wrong turn in the middle of a rainstorm.

"You're thinkin mighty hard," Charlotte King Freedman is smiley today, something that's a rare occurrence for the Blonde unless you're one of her 3 children or her husband of course.

"Thinking about Sheldon; he used to love these things," Amelia says with a sigh as Charlotte wraps an arm around her friend.

"I miss him too, but hey, he'd be so proud of you for how you're tackling Collie's diagnosis, finally setting a date for your wedding to James," She gives Amelia a playful nudge in the ribs, causing the brunette to grin back at her.

"I think he'd be proud too; I mean, I went to Seattle to see Derek for crying out loud, and, I actually like Meredith," Amelia says as both women stare out at the beautiful scenery in front of them. Hundreds of people are gathered at Griffith Park for the annual event, the doctors' families, as well as other organizations that support the practice, have gathered for the event.

"You'd better not let Montgomery hear you say that she'll get jealous," Charlotte teases.

"Addie would never get jealous of me being nice to Meredith; now if I were to suddenly move to Seattle and start calling Meredith my sister…" Both women laugh at the idea of that happening.

"I can't see ya moving to Seattle; it rains too much and besides, your family's right here," Charlotte says with a smile before running off to scold one of her daughters-Caroline to be exact.

"Caroline Grace Freedman! What have I told you about hitting other children…" Amelia chuckles to herself as she watches James carry her (their) son towards her.

"Hi, sweetie! Did you have fun on the slides?" Amelia picks Colin up and presses a kiss to his head.

"I went really high!" Colin signs back; they speak to him as though he can talk and he signs back in return.

"Hey buddy, are ya hungry?" James asks; Colin nods so James takes him from Amelia, planting a kiss on her cheek before the two of them move towards the sweet smell of barbecue and hot dogs.

Grabbing a bottle of water from a nearby cooler, Amelia makes her way up the hill to the tents reserved for the doctors and their families. However, she stops short when she notices the small crowd gathered around. Frowning, Amelia makes her way towards the group; her heart stops when she sees Addison passed out on the ground.

"Addison? What happened?" Amelia shouts, instantly leaning forward to listen for a heartbeat or a pulse.

"She's fine Amelia, she fainted," Violet explains as two of the newer doctors, Damien Sanchez and Esai Ramirez, carry Addison inside one of the tents.

"She's obviously not fine, she fainted!" Amelia shouts as Charlotte races over to see what's going on.

"What happened to Addison? When I left she said she was about to call Jake," Charlotte glances over at Addison, who's slowly coming to.

"Amelia, there's something you should know," Violet says, gently placing a hand on the young neurosurgeon's shoulder. The look in Violet's eyes causes everything to shift; something bad has happened.

"What happened?" Violet glances over at Naomi and Sam, who are standing off by a tree on what appears to be a very serious phone call.

"Amelia…there was an accident, Jake and Angela are dead," Violet tells her.

 _2011_

 _The practice is in deep trouble; with Violet's book coming out, they are at risk of being investigated by the medical board, which could cost them their licenses as well as the practice. Violet's license has been suspended indefinitely, leaving the rest of the group at a loss of what to do. So, they've called this meeting to decide the fate of the practice as well as their own._

" _What are going to do you guys?" Naomi asks; everyone is seated at the table in the conference room, looking to someone for an answer._

" _We could fight this," Pete says._

" _But we risk them coming after us individually," Sam says with a sigh_

" _We should just cut our losses," Cooper says as Sheldon looks at him strangely._

" _So we're not even going to try?"_

" _I have a suggestion," Everyone turns to look at Addison; it was after all now her practice, seeing as she took over a few years ago._

" _Okay, go on Addie," Naomi prompts as all eyes fall on her._

" _I would like for us to formally dissolve Oceanside Wellness and, open a new practice. I'll fund it all; we stick together but do things different. We hire a medical consultant to show us how to do things, but most of all we stay together as a family," Everyone takes a moment to let her suggestion sink in. In the end, they agree; Oceanside Wellness sees its last patient two weeks later before closing its doors for good._

 _oOoOo_

" _So what you're saying is, you wanna open a fancy medical practice?" A month has passed since Oceanside Wellness closed. The practice closing has given everyone a chance to be normal people for once. Everyone has taken special vacations and trips, had a chance to be regular people. Today, however, they've all gathered at Addison's house to discuss moving forward._

" _It would draw in more business; look, I know I'm still relatively new here but I feel like opening a new practice and expanding it would be great. We could see even more clients plus if we hired more doctors-" Addison begins._

" _Okay whoa, I thought you said 'stick together as a family', not add more people," Cooper points out as Addison sighs._

" _I talked it over with the medical consultant,"_

" _Whom we've never met," Sam points out; he and Addison are officially over, so there's bound to be tension between the two of them._

" _Well I have and we agreed that-"_

" _Wait, is the practice gonna be a co-op once it reopens?" Pete has a valid question, it's one on everyone's minds._

" _No, it isn't," Addison sadly informs them as everyone begins to shout their outrage._

" _Enough! If we turn it into a co-op using the same building, the same doctors, the same…everything, the medical board will see right through that. The only thing that'll be different is the sign! Unless you want them coming after us again and this time suspending our licenses, we have to do it differently," Addison shoots them all a hard look, one by one._

" _As much as I hate to admit it, Addie's right; the medical board will see right through this, especially if we bring Violet back after her suspension," Naomi says._

" _Wait, what happened to 'we stay together'?" Pete's heart attack has taken a lot out of him, but he was strong enough to come to the meeting today. Violet is still family, screw up or no screwup._

" _Pete, it's okay. I understand why Addison is doing this," Violet is there also, even though the medical consultant specifically told Addison not to invite her._

" _Violet, of course, I'll give you your job back once your suspension is over; you know that. What I'm saying is, if we want the practice to survive, we have to change how we do things,"_

" _And by change you mean?" Pete questions._

" _I'll be the primary owner and each you would serve on the board of directors, owning a certain percentage of the practice,"_

" _So it'll still be a co-op without actually being called a co-op; smart move Montgomery," Charlotte says with a smirk._

" _Exactly; we'd expand the practice, hire new doctors, maybe even open a pharmacy…"_

" _A pharmacy? You wanna add a pharmacy as well?" Pete tilts his head to the side._

" _It would eliminate the middle man, which would mean more money for the practice," Addison says with a shrug._

" _It sounds so…elitist," Pete says with a shake of his head._

" _I know, but there's no turning back at this point; Oceanside Wellness is gone."_

" _So we're gonna have a pharmacy and what else?" Sheldon asks._

" _Like I said, more doctors; it would give us more time to actually tend to patients plus, with doctors of all specialties, we bring in more clientele which means-"_

" _If this is new practice is gonna be all about the money then-"_

" _It's not! Listen, I' ran a practice back in New York and the way we were going before, we were barely scraping by. After I took over, a lot of funding for the practice came out of my pocket; loans were taken out because patients weren't paying. There were threats of foreclosure on the building a few times. Hell, half of your paychecks came out of my personal account because we were just that broke. With Naomi taking out a second mortgage on the practice it really screwed us. We never really recovered from that," Addison explains._

" _So that's why you wanna bring in more doctors, to keep us from going broke again," Sam states._

" _Yes,"_

" _Addie, if the practice was costing us money-" Naomi begins, though Addison holds up a hand to stop her._

" _It's what I signed up for when I took over," She says with a shrug._

" _Ya didn't have to go through it alone Montgomery," Charlotte points out._

" _We've all been through our own personal hells over the last few years; why add more pain by saying the practice was failing?" Addison clears her throat and continues explaining the process, allowing everyone to have input._

 _oOoOo_

" _So we're looking at hiring close to 10 new doctors," Sheldon says going over the lists of specialties._

" _That's a lot of doctors," Pete says looking at the list._

" _It is but, when you take into account the high demand for Plastic Surgery, Physical Therapy, ENT, you're looking at a huge client intake," Addison explains._

" _Which would mean more money for the practice," Pete says with a sigh as Addison shoots him a look._

" _Listen, I know you're trying to go by the book here but, this is hard for some of us. Cooper, Violet, Sam, Naomi and I have been here since the beginning. The rest of you are newbies so you're gonna have to excuse us if we're not so gung-ho about this new practice,"_

" _If you think you can run a practice exactly the way we did before then go ahead, Pete. Go right ahead! I should've let you see how the bills were piling up or how many patients we lost because of a lack of ethics. Think about half of the things we did that we knew were ethically wrong; if the medical board went after us for Violet's book, just imagine what they would've found if they'd kept digging. We wouldn't be looking at suspended licenses; we'd be looking at jail time. I don't know about any of you, but I don't wanna go to jail and I don't wanna lose my license because I love what I do. I wanna do it right, I wanna do it right and I wanna make money and I wanna see my patients happy. If you can't handle that then-" Addison takes a deep breath before walking into her kitchen to grab a glass of water._

" _She's got a point; before Addison took over the practice was crawling in moral and ethical dilemmas," Sheldon points out._

" _Montgomery's right; we have to do this the right way," Charlotte agrees._

" _Change is a good thing, right? I mean, Addison did keep us with a job and a roof over our heads while she ran the practice. I won't be so bad; I mean, I did some digging into her old practice and it was top of the line," Cooper says._

" _He's right; Addie's got a sharp business mind. I know this is gonna be hard for some of us but, we've gotta move forward," Sam says just as Addison returns to the living room._

" _So, have you started looking at potential new doctors yet?" Naomi asks; she'd already made the decision to leave the practice prior to them closing it down, but she wants to see this through seeing as she'll still own a certain percentage of it._

" _No, I think it should be a group effort; we can hire an agency to handle applications and then we interview them ourselves," Naomi nods her head; the plan makes good sense, let's hope that the follow through is just as good._

 _oOoOo_

" _So we're looking at a new lady doctor…ooh, he's a guy; name's Jake Reilly," Cooper said looking over the man's resume._

 _Things were slowly starting to progress with the practice; the construction work had begun last week. The third floor would serve as the main lobby (they decided to forego having a pharmacy) with the fourth-floor housing the doctor's offices while the fifth floor would be the actual practice, complete with larger exam rooms, an MRI and X-Ray room as well as a birthing and outpatient surgical suite . Addison had a raging migraine and it wasn't even 10 am yet; she massaged her temples before taking a sip of her water. Taking a sip of her water was the worst mistake she could have ever made because standing in front of her, was none other than pineapple guy, aka Jake Reilly._

" _Dr. Reilly, why don't you have a seat; I'm Dr. Sam Bennett, this is Dr. Cooper Freedman and-"_

" _Addison Montgomery," Jake reached forward to shake Addison's hand as Cooper and Sam stared at her strangely._

" _You didn't tell me you knew Dr. Reilly Addison," Cooper said._

" _Jake's just fine and we don't exactly know each other; we happen to frequent the same grocery store. We sometimes stop and chat over pineapples," Jake said with a smirk as Sam looked between the pair suspiciously._

" _Uh yeah, we do that sometimes, chat in grocery stores. Let's get this interview over with, shall we?"_

 _oOoOo_

" _So, I hear you happen to know our potential new employee," Amelia said as she leaned against one of the counters in the break room later that afternoon._

" _Ugh, not you too," Addison groaned as she opened the refrigerator._

" _Oh come on Addie! Cooper said you looked surprised as hell to see him plus, he said you two had some serious eye sex going on," Amelia raised an eyebrow, refusing to let up on the issue._

" _Alright, fine! Do you remember a couple of months ago when I went on that blind date?" Amelia closed her eyes, trying to recall._

" _Wait, was that the date with the guy you met in the grocery store?!" Amelia's eyes widened with excitement._

" _The very one," Addison muttered._

" _You said all you did was kiss him! Amelia hissed._

" _That was it…but he also propositioned me to go to Fiji and have sex with him for a week,"_

" _Wait, that new doctor-"_

" _Jake, his name is Jake Reilly," Addison reminded her._

" _Whatever, that hunky doctor is Fiji guy!? Go Addison! Why the hell didn't you go!?" Amelia reached across the island to smack her former sister-in-law on the arm._

" _Ow! Hey, I didn't go because one, the practice was going under and two, I was still hung up on Sam," Addison said with a roll of her eyes._

" _Ya could've been hung up on something else," Amelia muttered._

" _Really? You haven't learned how to filter yet?!" Addison groaned._

" _It's a process Addie, but seriously, what about the eye sex Cooper said-"_

" _We were not having eye sex; Jake also happens to be my fertility specialist," Addison said through gritted teeth._

" _Oh, ohhh; yeah, all kinds of awkward,"_

" _Exactly,"_

" _Wait if he's your fertility specialist, why's he trying to work here?" Amelia wondered._

" _Now see, I have no idea," Addison said with a shake of her head._

 _oOo_

" _Hey, you got a minute?" Amelia pokes her head into Jake's office one evening before heading out._

" _Sure, what's up?" Jake has been working at the practice for a few months now and it's pretty clear to everyone that he's got a crush on Addison._

" _Why don't you just ask Addison out?" Amelia has always been a ballsy woman, unafraid to say what she feels._

" _Excuse me?" Jake seems taken back by her question; he's even more surprised when she saunters into his office and takes a seat at his desk._

" _You heard me, why haven't you asked Addison out yet? Don't give me that look; everyone knows you two have the hots for each other. Ask her out already!" Jake simply chuckles at Amelia, finds her frustration to be adorable. She's protective of Addison._

" _Addison's not over Sam," Jake says simply as Amelia rolls her eyes._

" _She's totally over Sam! They've been broken up for months now!" Amelia is exasperated; why can't these two just get it together?_

" _Just because she's not sleeping with Sam doesn't mean she's over him yet. I don't wanna be second best and right now if I were to get involved with her, I'd just be a rebound," Amelia studies Jake and comes to find out that she likes him, she really, really likes him._

" _I think you should give it a try; ask her out," Amelia says with a smile before leaving his office._

oOoOo

"What? No? No, Jake's not, Jake can't be…"Amelia's eyes widen in shock at Violet's words.

"Jake and Angela were white water rafting earlier today and the waves got out of control, Addison tried to call Jake but…" Violet's voice is soft, comforting as everyone else stands there in shock.

"Wait, Violet, are you sayin…" Charlotte's eyes are just as wide as Amelia's; no one can believe it. It's not until Addison lets out a gut-wrenching scream of Jake's name, followed by an even more heartbreaking sob that everyone believes it's true. Sam walks over to the group, a look of anguish on his face and a heavy sigh on his lips; Naomi is in the tent with Addison, holding her close as she sobs.

"I need to be with her, Jake was my family," Amelia has tears in her as she rushes towards Addison.

"Amelia," Charlotte's hand is gentle on her shoulder, though Amelia wrenches away.

"No! Don't Charlotte; Addison is my sister and Jake is my brother, I need to be with her right now," Charlotte's touch is a bit more firm this time.

"Amelia, Addison's gonna need somebody to look after Henry; you're his godmomma, she wouldn't want anybody else with him but you," Charlotte stares into Amelia's eyes, hoping that she gets it. Henry doesn't know, it'll be hard for him to understand what's going on.

"I get it, but please, at least let me see her?" There's a look of desperation in the young Neurosurgeon's eyes.

Jake had been there for her when no one else had been. He was there for her when she got pregnant; he's been there through all of Colin's complications. He'd even been the one who taught him sign language. Charlotte doesn't say much after that, just lets her go; she watches with a heartbreaking sigh as the two women hold each other close and mourn the loss of a great man.

Seattle:

Derek sat in the rocking chair with both of his children and stroked their hair. He couldn't believe it; Jake was dead. He shuddered at the thought of leaving his own children behind; Henry wasn't that much younger than Zola. He looked up when he saw Meredith standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"I'm sorry," He said, and he was; nothing that they had been arguing about mattered anymore.

"I'm sorry too," Meredith said as she walked across the room, taking a seat on the floor beside her husband and children.

"I can't believe it; Addie worked so hard to be happy and then…why her? Why Addison? Why Jake?" Derek asked to no one in particular.

"I get what that's like; we didn't have kids then but-"

"You're thinking about the shooting, aren't you?" Meredith nodded as she absently took Bailey's hand into her own and stroked it.

"Derek, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you; we have to-"

"I'm not taking the job in DC Mere, not anymore, not after this," Derek told her.

"And if this hadn't happened? If Addison hadn't lost her husband?" Meredith wanted to know.

"I still wouldn't have taken it; it wasn't worth it, not to me. Sure, it would've been a great opportunity, but my family is here. My life is here, my career, everything I love is right here with me right now," Derek said.

Meredith stood, gently taking Bailey from Derek's arms as he looked at her strangely.

"Let's go to bed, it's been a long day; the kids can sleep with us tonight," She said.

Derek smiled at her as he eased Zola onto his shoulder and carried her to their bedroom. Once the children were settled, he carefully wrapped his arms around his wife, breathing her in.

"I love you, Meredith,"

"I love you too Derek,"

oOoOo

The pitter patter of Sofia's feet followed by her incessant early morning chatter is the first thing to wake Mark up the next morning. He rolls out of bed, shirtless as usual, and strides into the living room. He picks up his daughter, presses a kiss to her head before leaning over to kiss Callie, in a non-romantic way of course. He notices the tension in her shoulders and the look in her eyes; she's been wearing it since yesterday, not long after Sofia's performance.

"You gonna tell me what's going on Torres? You look like you lost your best friend," He says with a chuckle.

Callie's lips pause just before reaching her coffee mug; she stares at him, hard. She doesn't want to do this, to put him in such a terrible mood that it could destroy the progress he's managed to make in the last 5 years. She sighs heavily, placing her mug down onto the counter before calling Sofia over to her.

"Torres, is everything okay?" Mark tilts his head to the side; if she had to call Sofia over then whatever she's been hiding has got to be pretty big news. He watches as she settles their little girl onto the counter top; she instinctively reaches out to grab his hand as well.

"I have something to tell you both, something bad," There's a nervousness in Callie's voice that Mark instantly picks up on.

"Did you forget to bring home cookies again?" Sofia asks, causing Callie to chuckle.

"No sweetie, I wish it were something that simple but, it's not. Guys…something happened yesterday and, it's really bad," Callie says; she's stalling, Mark notices, she's trying to find the right words to say.

"What happened Mami?"

"Sweetie, Uncle Jake, and Angela were in a really bad accident and…they died," Callie bites her lip; she's looking at Mark trying to gauge his reaction more than Sofia's.

"They died? But how Mami?" Sofia's almost 6, so the concept of death is still quite new to her.

"Honey, do you remember when your goldfish died?" Sofia nods, though her eyes grow wide as saucers.

"So we're gonna flush Uncle Jake and Angie down the toilet!?" Callie sighs; okay, so maybe the goldfish wasn't the best analogy.

"No, no, no honey! We're not gonna flush them down the toilet; I don't even think we can fit them down a toilet. Do you remember how sad you were when your goldfish died? Well, that's how Aunt Addie and Henry feel right now. They're sad that Uncle Jake and Angela died," Callie goes on to further explain things to Sofia, but Mark's not there right now; he zoned out when she said that Jake had died.

He knows that she's been watching him, trying to gauge his reaction but he doesn't have one. It's too much of a shock for him right now. He immediately grabs his phone and checks his notifications; there was a group text from the chief, confirming that Jake had indeed died yesterday. He checks his Facebook(yes he has a Facebook and yes, he and Addison are friends) notifications and sure enough, Addison's wall is flooded with condolences from people everywhere. It still doesn't seem like it's true so instead, he calls her. It takes a moment before a broken voice picks up the phone; it's definitely Addison.

"Red, I'm so sorry," Mark murmurs into the phone.

" _Mark_ …" The sound of Addison's voice haunts him; he's never heard her sound so broken in his life. There's a commotion on the other end of the phone before he hears Amelia pick up.

"Amy, how's she-"

" _She's devastated, we all are; no one saw this coming_ ," His heart breaks into a million pieces when he hears little Henry ask ' _what's wrong with mommy_?'

"Go, take care of her, take care of em both," He tells Amelia.

" _I will; I'll call you when, when the arrangements have been made_?" There's a tremble in Amelia's voice when she says this part; he knows how much she's gotta be hurting.

"Hey, Amy?"

" _Yeah, Mark_?" Her voice is like a little squeak this time.

"Take, you take care of yourself, you hear? I love you, kid," He can almost feel the smile she gives him through the other end of the phone.

" _I love you too Mark, be safe; bye_ ," With that, they end their phone call.

"How is she?" Callie had moved to sit next to him at some point; he lets out a long sigh, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

"I've never heard her sound like that before; she could barely get any words out. All she could say was my name and it even that sounded like it took a lot out of her. This is so fucked up Torres," Mark leans forward, resting his head on his thighs as Callie rubs his back.

"I know Mark but, she'll get through it; Addie's strong. She'll get through it, and so will we," she tells him.

"I sure hope so,"

 _Chapter 5 to follow…_


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: I'm a really terrible person; I'm sorry CharCoop fans, forgive me!**

 **Xx**

* * *

Charlotte doesn't usually come to the cemetery; she leaves that to Cooper and Mason. Today, though, she needs to see her little girl, or well, where her little girl is buried. Her mind is racing the entire ride to Eternal Hill; she can't stop thinking about Addison. Her own eyes are wet with tears as she thinks about the fact that she's going to see her dead daughter's grave. It still hits her like a ton of bricks sometimes when she thinks about the fact that Georgia, her sweet little girl didn't make it. Addison had done all that she could, but Georgie's little heart couldn't take it. She blamed herself for weeks after her death. If only she'd been able to hold onto them a little longer then she'd have three girls instead of two.

2012

 _She's 26 weeks pregnant and should not be going into labor at all, but she is. Multiples are usually born around 32 weeks but somehow, for some odd reason, her body has decided that her babies need to come, right now. All she can think about right now is that stupid talk Cooper had had with her the night before. He'd tried to convince her to do selective reduction but she'd refused; he'd told her the risks (which ironically included preterm labor) but still she didn't listen. Now, here they were, preparing to have triplets._

" _It's too soon they're only lettuce, they won't make it!" Charlotte is screaming from the gurney as they wheel her into the hospital._

" _Dr. Montgomery is five minutes out," a nurse informs her; everything is spinning, going so, so fast._

" _I'm only 26 weeks, ya gotta stop the labor!" Cooper and Mason are left behind, unable to go into labor and delivery with her._

" _Addison's gonna take care of everything, don't worry!" Cooper tells her as he holds onto Mason._

" _Is she gonna be okay?"_

" _She's gonna be fine; you remember Nurse Fiona, you go to school with her daughter. Amelia's gonna come pick you up," Cooper sends a pajama-clad Mason with the nurse before rushing to be with his wife._

oOoOo

 _Everything begins progressing fast; Addison has already arrived, James and Jake are present as well._

" _Alright Charlotte let's see what's going on here," She's sitting on the stool in front of Charlotte but the look on her face is anything but good._

" _What, what is it?" Cooper asks; he's standing beside Charlotte, trying to be strong for her but he's just as scared as she is._

" _One of the triplets is presenting as a footline breech; we need to deliver right now," Charlotte's face is scared and outraged._

" _But the lungs aren't developed!" Charlotte argues_

" _We don't have a choice; I need three resuscitation kits, and three incubators," Addison instructs._

" _Let the NICU know they could be getting up to three 26 weekers," James calls out._

" _Charlotte, we're gonna start delivering now, okay? Let's go," With that the pushing begins and god is it excruciating._

" _Good, good, good, there you go, I need a 2.5 tube and a straight blade," Addison and Jake waste no time taking the baby over to the incubators, doing all they can to save the first baby's life._

" _What's happening?" Charlotte is in pain but she's more concerned about the life of her little girl at the moment._

" _Addison's working on her," Cooper has his eyes on his daughter, who is fighting for her life._

" _Addison…"_

" _Charlotte, I'm going to examine you to see if the remaining membranes are intact okay?" Jake is sitting in front of her now but she doesn't care about that. All she can focus on is the fact that her little girl is outside of her womb at 26 weeks._

" _Is she breathing? Why, why isn't she crying?" Charlotte is a complete mess right now, trying to worry about her two remaining girls while desperately hoping and praying to God that her other one lives._

" _Alright, come on kid, help me out here," Addison says to the baby as she wills the child to take her first breath._

" _Okay the membranes are intact and if the meds that Dr. Peterson gave you worked then…"_

" _What? Then, what?" Cooper is just as frazzled as Charlotte is, his eyes darting back and forth from his wife to his daughter._

" _The contractions will stop?" The nurse tries._

" _Until I'm 32 weeks? Because these babies aren't ready to be delivered," Charlotte pants._

" _I could stitch up your cervix," Addison tells them, not bothering to look up from her work on the baby._

" _What?" Cooper's eyes shine with new hope at the admission._

" _That'll delay delivery for a few weeks, give the other babies a chance to mature," Addison tells them._

" _Jake, is that safe?" Cooper asks Jake._

" _There are significant risks; maternal morbidity and delayed interval births are about 30 percent," Jake informs them._

" _Charlotte could die?" This is what he was afraid of; there's a chance of him not only losing his babies but his wife as well. He doesn't get to respond further because Addison is at Charlotte's side once more._

oOoOo

" _How is she?"_

" _She's got ectopia cortis; the chest wall hasn't developed completely to cover the heart. She'll need surgery," Addison grimly informs them._

" _Oh, what do we do Cooper? I don't wanna lose these babies but I'm scared, what do we do?" Charlotte groans, looking over at her husband for answers._

" _Okay, look at me; look at me. This is what's gonna happen; Addison is gonna sew up your cervix and I'm gonna go be with our daughter and this plan is gonna work, you're gonna be okay. You're not gonna die, okay? Alright, say it," Cooper tells her, his own face a mirror of fear as his voice cracks and tears form in his eyes._

" _I'm not gonna die,"_

" _Promise me,"_

" _I promise you," Cooper leans forward to kiss her._

" _I love you,"_

" _I love you,"_

oOoOo

She gets out of the car on shaky legs and carefully makes her way over to the grave. She stands there, completely still as she reads the headstone, only marked with her name 'Georgia Cheyenne Freedman'; there's no birth or death date, simply the words 'gone too soon'. Charlotte bites her lower lip as tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. God this hurts, but after today, knowing that Addison lost her husband and Henry lost his father and Angela, she can't forget about poor Angela. The girl left behind 2 small children, one of which is a 9-month-old little girl. A little girl, who will never know her momma and how much she loved her. Much like Georgia will never know her mother.

"Hey Georgia, hey sweet girl; you're about to get some good company in heaven. Jake's gonna be with you soon, he and Angela. I miss you baby girl; you should be growing big just like ya sisters. Caroline and Rachel have gotten so big. I wish you could be here with 'em but, I guess God didn't see it that way. Your daddy and your brother all miss you so much, but I know you're up there with your big daddy. I know he's keeping you safe; watch over my baby girl daddy, and watch over Jake too, please?" Charlotte stoops down and presses a kiss to the grave with her fingers before heading back to her car. Once she's inside and alone, she begins to cry over everything she's lost in the last few years.

2012

 _It feels weird, only bringing home two babies when it really should be three. The trip…the twins have been home for a few weeks now. Charlotte successfully made it to 33 weeks before she went into labor, this time on her own. Cooper's taken some time off to be with the girls because she didn't trust them with some nanny. Plus, she's got a hospital to run; things at the practice are going pretty well with Lauren Jackson, one of the new doctors, taking over Cooper's patients; thank God for a Family Care specialist. She looks up from the mounting paperwork on her desk when there's a knock on the door to her office; Jake is here._

" _I just wanted to drop this off to you and Cooper," He's dressed in scrubs today, probably had to deliver a baby or had a risky surgery._

" _So you and Addison are finally doing it huh?" Jake gives her an easy smile as she takes the wedding invitation from him._

" _I couldn't imagine myself marrying anybody else," he tells her._

" _Montgomery's a ballsy woman, can be a bit of bitch when she wants to; think you can handle her?" Jake chuckles lightly before responding with,_

" _From what I heard, you were the same way; Cooper handled you just fine. You two are married have two beautiful-"_

" _Three, we've got three beautiful babies, four if ya count Mason," Jake notices the shift in Charlotte's voice when they speak of children._

" _How ya holding up Charlotte? I know that losing Georgia was-"_

" _It was the hardest thing in my life but, I moved on, I made it," Charlotte bites her lip and wills the tears that are at bay not to come._

" _You know, Lily, my wife, she and I tried for a baby," Jake tells her._

" _Montgomery know about this?" Charlotte raises an eyebrow at Jake when he casually takes a seat in her office._

" _Addison knows everything there is to know about me; anywho, Lily and I tried for a baby of our own. Ang was pretty much mine the moment I walked into her life but, there's nothing like having one of your own,"_

" _I can attest to that; I may not have been happy about the girls but-"_

" _You love them just the same," Charlotte nods._

" _Anywho, Lily and I tried so hard for a baby; we actually got pregnant once but…Lily was on drugs, went on a bender and, she lost it, didn't even make it to viability," Jake sighs wistfully as he talks._

" _Was this supposed to make me feel better about-"_

" _Losing a baby is never an easy thing Charlotte; no matter how far along you were or how many years it's been. My kid would've been about 17 this year," Jake says before he stands up to leave. Once he's at the door, Charlotte calls out to him._

" _Hey, Jake?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Thanks, for telling me," Jake gives Charlotte one last easy smile._

" _See ya at the wedding Charlotte,"_

" _You can count on it,"_

 _Chapter 6 to follow…_


	6. Chapter 6

Los Angeles, 2013

 _Miranda Bailey is all smiles as she steps into Seaside Wellness; she has to admit, she's quite impressed with the work her friend has been doing lately. The new practice is much larger than the old one was and seems to be doing quite well under Addison's watch._

" _Miranda, it's so good to see you!" Addison is all smiles as she approaches her friend, greeting her with a hug._

" _It's been entirely too long since I saw you; now, where's the baby?" Bailey wastes no time, excited to finally meet her friend's son._

" _Here he is; Miranda, this is my son Henry," Addison is beaming as she balances the young child on her hip. Young Henry looks equally smitten with his mother as well, reaching up to try and grab her hair._

" _Oh, no, no, no Henry; you can't grab mama's hair even though I know how much you like it," Addison chuckles as her son gives her a toothless grin._

" _Addison he's beautiful; I'm really happy for you," Miranda tells her sincerely._

" _Thank you; it feels, good to finally be at peace with the world. I've got my son, my amazing soon to be husband…" There's a dreaminess to Addison's voice as she speaks of her impending nuptials to Jake._

" _Speaking of Jake, where is he? I wanna meet him," Addison narrows her eyes at Bailey._

" _You mean you want to interrogate him," Addison says knowingly._

" _I do not! I just wanna meet the man who's got my friend all giddy, that's all," Addison rolls her eyes at Bailey before escorting them to her office._

" _Jake's in surgery right now; what else do you want to talk about?" Addison places Henry into his portable crib where he happily chews on a stuffed animal._

" _I wanna talk about why you were so hesitant to invite Shepherd and Sloan to your wedding," Bailey gives Addison a knowing look, causing the redhead to sigh heavily._

" _I didn't not invite them, Miranda,"_

" _Derek and Mark have been your best friends-"_

" _I did it for Jake; I didn't…Derek and Mark are my past Miranda. I mean, I was married to Derek and I cheated on him with Mark, whose baby I almost had and let's not forget he and I were almost a couple 2 years ago!" Addison hissed._

" _I thought you three were over all of that stuff; you're Sofia's godmother, Derek's sister works here,"_

" _Don't make my life so complicated Miranda!" Addison groans._

" _I'm not making your life complicated; Seattle is your home, Addison. Like it or not, it's where you found your footing after you left New York. There are a whole lot of people there who care about you besides Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan," Addison sighs heavily as she looks up at Bailey._

" _Seattle_ _ **was**_ _my home Miranda; LA is home now. I love Jake and I love my life here; bringing Derek and Mark out here will just complicate things," Addison sighs once more as Bailey reaches across the desk and grabs her hand._

" _As long as Derek Shepherd's sister works here, you're still connected to them. As long as you're Sofia's godmother, you're still connected to them. I get that you wanna start over Addison, but you can't turn your back on family. Like it or not, Derek, Mark, Callie, Richard, Karev, me…we're your family. Family doesn't turn their backs on each other,"_

oOoOo

"I still can't believe it," Miranda Bailey shakes her head as she sits at her desk.

Naomi had just called and told her that Jake was dead. Her heart immediately broke when she thought of Addison and sweet little Henry. She sighs heavily as she stands up, grabbing her briefcase and coat before heading out the door.

"Miranda, you okay?" Ben's working the late shift tonight and stops her as she's on her way out the door. Looking into Ben's eyes makes her think of Addison and Henry and all that they've lost. She pulls him close to her, pressing a desperate kiss to his lips. Ben doesn't pull away, but once he notices just how desperate his wife is, along with the tears in her eyes, he steps back.

"Miranda, what's going on? Did something happen? Is Tuck okay?" Ben's eyes are full of concern as he talks to his wife.

"Tuck's fine I just…do you, remember Addison Montgomery?"

"Yeah, I remember Dr. Montgomery, what about her?"

"She lost her husband tonight," Miranda lets out a harsh breath as Ben looks at her in horror.

"Jake died?" Miranda nods.

"But, I thought…they just got married-"

"Less than 4 years ago,"

"Damn; how's she holding up?" Ben's hands are at his wife's waist; he knows how close she and Addison are.

"I haven't talked to her but, Naomi, her friend, she called. I could hear her in the background, screaming and crying and…Henry's only 4," Bailey gets choked up at the mention of Henry's name as Ben pulls her into his arms.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay; Addison's a strong woman, she'll get through this," Ben soothes.

"She was finally happy Ben! She had finally found her happiness after all the hell she went through here,"

"I know, I know; I was at the wedding too, remember?"

Los Angeles, 2013

 _Ben misses California, so being back here is a good thing for him. He glances over at his wife who is busy chatting with her friend Addison, the new bride. He vaguely remembers Addison from when she lived in Seattle. He knows that she was married to Derek Shepherd for over 10 years and cheated on him with Mark Sloan. He heard she'd had a brief fling with Alex Karev; despite all of that, she was and still is a great doctor._

" _Hey, you must be Miranda's husband," A male voice causes Ben to turn around._

" _Yeah, and you're…Jake, right?" Jake gives him a smile._

" _The one and only; Miranda said you were doing a residency out here not too long ago?"_

" _Yeah, I did; it feels good to be back," Ben says with a smile._

 _The two men talk shop about medicine and things like that as they watch their wives giggle and laugh with a few other women from the practice._

" _She seems really happy; Miranda says when she left Seattle things were rough," Ben says as both men down their glasses of scotch._

" _I wasn't here when she first left Seattle but, she did tell me it was hard. She said people like Bailey and Callie really helped her get through it," Jake says, never taking his eyes off of her._

" _I know this is gonna sound crazy and maybe even a little bit out of line but, Addison's one of ours. She's part of our crazy mixed up family back in Seattle. Just because she moved here doesn't mean that she's not still ours. We tend to look out for family in Seattle and-"_

" _Ben, I'll make sure she's happy," Jake says with a smile as Addison gives him a little wave._

" _Good; because if she's not happy, you won't just have me to deal with. Just between the two of us? My wife's the scary one," Ben says with a laugh._

" _Addison told me about her; did they really call her the Nazi?" Jake tilts his head to the side as he looks at Ben._

" _The nickname's retired but, all the interns, residents and even the attending's still fear her. The nickname comes out when necessary. If you never wanna meet the Nazi, make sure you keep Addison happy," Ben tells him._

" _I plan on making Addison happy for the rest of my life,"_

oOoOo

"Mark, are you okay?" Callie is sitting beside him at the counter after he finishes his phone call with Amelia.

"She sounded so…broken," Mark sighs

"Poor Addie; does Henry know?"

"I don't think so. How long did you know, Torres?" Mark asks Callie.

"What, about Jake? Bailey called last night after Naomi called her. I didn't say anything because last night was about Sofia and-"

"She's my friend Torres," Mark sounds angry when he speaks.

"I know Mark, she's my friend too," Callie says softly.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"I didn't wanna say anything because last night was about Sofia and, I was afraid-"

"You were scared of how I'd react, right. Newsflash, I'm not a fucking invalid Torres!" Mark's voice is gruff as he stands, causing the legs of his stool to scrape against the floor as he heads for his room, slamming the door behind him.

"Is daddy okay Mami?" Sofia has looked up from playing with her dolls.

"He will be; he's just sad about what happened to Uncle Jake and Angela, that's all,"

"Are you sad Mami?" Callie settles herself onto the floor next to Sofia before picking her up and settling her on her lap.

"I am; Uncle Jake and I were very good friends and I miss him very much," Callie tells Sofia before pressing a kiss into her hair.

Seattle 2012

" _You are glowing, absolutely positively glowing," Callie Torres stated as she and Addison sat on a bench at the park._

" _Okay so, I met someone; well, I'm actually seeing someone," Callie's eyes widen with excitement._

" _Gimmie all the details!" Addison giggles and surprisingly blushes._

" _His name's Jake Reilly and, Cal, I think this might be it. I mean, I know I thought that before with Derek and Mark and Sam-"_

" _Whoa. Derek, Mark, and Sam are in the past; tell me about this new guy, Jake. Tell me all about him," Addison is all smiles as she describes Jake as 'the most perfect man ever'; she seems really happy about this one Callie notes._

" _So, when am I gonna meet him?" Addison rolls her eyes at this question._

" _I don't know, I need time to adjust to everything. Plus, you meeting him will mean that Mark will want to meet him and then Derek will want to-"_

" _Why don't you just facetime him right now? I still get to meet him; not face to face but, this is close enough. Plus, I'd rather not have you run away again at the mention of him meeting Derek and Mark," Addison laughs softly as she reaches for her cell phone to dial Jake's number._

 _It takes exactly 4 rings before a smooth baritone voice seeps through the other end of the phone._

" _Addison? Is everything okay?"_

" _Everything's fine Jake; how's Henry?"_

" _For the thousandth time Addison Henry is fine; say hi to your mama Henry," Callie leans over Addison's shoulder to get her first real glimpse of Henry that's not a photo._

" _Oh Addie, he's gorgeous! I'm so happy for you if I haven't already told you," Callie says, giving her friend a little squeeze._

" _I thought you were supposed to be working in Seattle?" Jake narrows his eyes once he spots Callie sitting beside Addison._

" _Surgery got pushed back so I thought I'd spend some time with a good friend of mine. You remember my goddaughter Sofia, well this is her mother Dr. Callie Torres. Callie, this is Jake Reilly," Callie grins at her friend before she gives Jake the once over. He's cute. He's a Latino which is surprising for Addison but, he seems really great with Henry. He has to be if Addison left her son with him._

" _It's nice to meet you Jake," Jake smiles back at Callie before carefully adjusting Henry on his hip before replying._

" _Nice to meet you too Callie; you've got a beautiful daughter. Addison's got almost as many pictures of Sofia as she does Henry," Jake says with a laugh._

" _I really owe her; she saved my daughter's life," Callie reaches over and gives Addison's hand a squeeze as she thinks back on that fearful day where she almost lost everything._

" _She's an incredible woman that Addison Montgomery," Jake replies as Addison grins at him._

 _Callie and Jake end up having a full-fledged conversation about their careers, their Latino culture, family, and lots of other things. Addison sits on the park bench completely amused as Callie ends her phone call with Jake, who promises to call Addison later._

" _Why are you staring at me like that?" Callie asks._

" _So, does Jake pass the test? Is he good enough for me Cal?" Oh, now Callie gets it; Addison was looking for some approval in her new beau._

" _You don't need my approval or anyone else's; but if you insist on having my opinion, I think he's great," Addison grows quiet for a moment before looking up at Callie._

" _I'm asking what you think of Jake because, I think I might marry him," she quietly admits, causing Callie's eyes to go wide._

" _You wanna get married again? I thought you were completely content with, you know, having a guy, raising your son, running your practice? I didn't think you'd ever consider getting married after what happened with Derek,"_

" _Neither did I but, I feel like, Jake's the one. He doesn't care about my past; he just wants me, me and Henry. He's not bothered by the fact that I'm in my 40's and I wanted to have a kid; he helped me. He's not intimidated that my career is more established than his. I don't have to worry about him chasing after another woman. I don't have to worry about working becoming more important than me. This feels, this feels really right Callie," Callie can't help but smile at her friend and give her a big hug._

" _Just make sure you send me and Sofia an invitation to the wedding!" Callie laughs as Addison tearfully hugs her back._

" _I'm finally happy; after all this time, I'm finally happy!" Addison whispers._

" _Yeah, and I hope you stay that way," Callie tells her._

" _Me too,"_

 _Chapter 7 to follow…_

 **So I know this update was a little bit slower, but life's getting busy. I'm about to head back to school to finally wrap up my last year of college plus I'm working a bit as well. I know that you all are happy to have me back writing Grey's and PP fics again; I'm happy too. I've missed this crowd and I've missed writing for these shows. I know that some people have been asking about other stories that seem to be on a permanent hiatus but, I haven't forgotten about them. Right now, I wanna work on this story and 'Fighting Our Way'; I've got a Once Upon a Time story I'm working on as well. Everything else is on hiatus until I finish these three stories.**

 **I used to think my time as a fanfic writer was coming to an end, but I don't think the journey is over just yet. I have so many stories that I want to tell and finish and I'm going to continue to write them. Even if it takes a year or more, I'm going to finish writing. Even if no one else reads anything I write, I'm going to finish them. I love that you all have fallen in love with my writing, but I'm mostly doing this for me. I don't like to leave my works undone, so until I feel in my spirit that it's time to stop writing, I'm going to keep writing. So if you're still reading and enjoying my writings, please don't hesitate to leave me a review or send me a sweet message or follow or favorite this story; I'd really appreciate it.**

 **Take Care everyone!**

 **Xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: the next few chapters will be Jake and Addison centric flashbacks with snippets of Addison's grief, which we haven't seen up close since the beginning of the story. I'm so happy that you all are enjoying my Grey's updates; I've missed you all and I'm happy to be back. I currently have 2 Grey's/PP fics in progress; this one and Fighting Our Way Part I. I may update an old fic once I'm done with the first installment of Fighting Our Way, so be on the lookout for a chapter update on an old fic…or maybe I'll post a new fic. Just be on the lookout!**

 **Grab some tissues, you're gonna need them.**

 **Xx**

* * *

September 2011

" _So, you didn't wanna hire me," Jake Reilly is smug as he manages to corner Addison in the break room about 3 weeks after she's hired him._

" _What was I supposed to say? Oh hey Sam, Jake's the guy I met in the grocery store, went on a blind date with, kissed and almost went to Fiji with to have hot sex for a week?" Addison hisses, glancing around the newly renovated break room to make sure no one around can hear their conversation._

" _You're also leaving out the part where I was, or rather, still am your fertility doctor. Does Sam know that?" Jake raises an eyebrow as Addison takes a sip of her green juice out of avoidance._

" _So Sam doesn't know then," Jake tilts his head to the side to get a good look at the redhead. Yup, she's still beautiful as ever, even if she is a bit neurotic._

" _Samdoesn'tknowI'mdoingIVF," The words come out in a jumble, hidden behind a carefully planted swig of juice as Jake sighs._

" _I'm gonna tell you now, this isn't going to end well. Most couples-"_

" _We're not like most couples; most couples aren't the ex-husband's of your best friend of 20 years," Addison says, suddenly no longer thirsty and no longer in a mood to have this conversation with him._

" _Wait, Sam used to date Amelia? She's a little young but-"_

" _What? No! Sam, Sam is the ex-husband of my friend Naomi…the fertility doctor you replaced," Addison says, trying to jog his memory._

" _Oh, right, her; I just thought-"_

" _Amelia is my ex husband's younger sister,"_

" _Well that clears things up; so you and Sam-"_

" _We're not having this conversation Jake," Addison warns as she practically stomps out of the break room._

 _Jake shamelessly watches her walk away, admiring her glorious ass in the process. He doesn't miss the amusing glances he gets from Cooper, Sheldon, and Pete._

" _If I were you, I'd back off; Addison's with Sam," Pete warns as Cooper's lips form into a tight line._

" _What? You sleep with Addison too?" Jake asks as Cooper's eyes widen._

" _Addison's a beautiful woman, just not my type," he says before entering the break room behind Pete, leaving Sheldon the remaining man in the hallway._

" _Did you sleep with Addison?" Jake asks Sheldon._

" _I didn't, but Pete did," Cooper lets out a snort as Pete smacks him on the arm._

" _Okay, so she's had a string of bad relationships, I can live with that," he says to himself, still watching as Addison makes her way into her office, promptly closing the blinds the minute she catches him staring at her._

April 2016

The person (a man she later learns) with the thick accent repeats himself.

" _Mrs. Reilly_?" Addison swallows hard, a sinking feeling in her gut as she shakily responds.

"Yes, what happened to my husband?" She immediately closes her eyes at the man's next words.

" _There was an accident; your husband and daughter were white water rafting when their boat capsized. Your daughter was killed instantly and your husband, he succumbed to his injuries shortly after. I'm so sorry ma'am_ ,"

Time stands still as the words slowly begin to sink in; Jake and Angela are dead.

The world seems to spin out of control as she holds the phone, wordlessly listening to the man's words as he again offers his condolences. But it doesn't seem to compute, Jake is dead, her husband is dead. Wait, wasn't she just kissing him goodbye at the airport 2 weeks ago with heated promises of hot welcome home sex several hours earlier? Wasn't he just promising to bring Henry home a souvenir? He was supposed to call her so that she could video chat with Angela and the babies. No, this isn't, this isn't happening, which is exactly what she tells the man on the other end of the phone.

"Am I being punk'd right now?"

" _Excuse me, ma'am_?"

"This is, this is some sort of joke, right? Because my husband can swim, my daughter, Angela can swim. No, this is, no! This isn't happening, did Jake put you up to this?" She asks, because she's trying to wrap her head around everything and, this type of information doesn't compute. Jake can't be dead. No, he, there's no way, there's just no way.

" _I'm sorry Mrs. Reilly but_ -"

"No, don't you dare Mrs. Reilly me! Where is my husband? Where is he? You put him on the phone right now because there's no way, there is absolutely no way that he, that they're…what about my grandchildren?" Her breathing is ragged and at this point, people have started to gather, her co workers and even a few clients.

" _Ma'am_ -"

"My grandchildren, I have 2 of them, Raphael and Isabella they're 3 and a half and 9 months, where-"

" _Ma'am, there were no children on that rafting boat_ ," the man tells her.

"Then you have to be wrong! My husband, his name is Jacob Miguel Reilly and my daughter's name is Angela Mariana Reilly. There's no way you have the right people, there's just, there's just no way!" Addison is shaking her head slowly back and forth as tears spring out of her eyes and run down her cheeks and the bridge of her nose.

" _Ma'am, I know this is hard but_ -"

"No! You don't know anything! You don't know how hard this is to learn…" Her breath hitches at the exact moment Violet walks over, clearly sensing that something has happened.

"Addison…" Violet's eyes are kind as she watches Addison hold up a hand, walking further away from her, off towards a tree.

"What's going on?" Naomi and Sam have also walked over, sensing the commotion.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's bad," Violet's voice is fearful as she watches the range of emotions that flitter across Addison's face before Sam is rushing towards her as she drops to her knees, letting out a strangled cry.

"Addie! Addie, what's wrong? Addie, talk to me!" Naomi is crouching down in front of her friend who barely seems to be breathing.

"Jake's dead," Addison whispers before losing all consciousness.

August 2011

" _Dude, I told you to give up on Addison," Pete says as he catches Jake staring at Addison for the thousandth time since he's been working at the practice._

" _You can't blame him," Damien Sanchez, the new Sports Medicine specialist says with a shrug._

" _I mean, she is kinda hot," Plastic Surgeon Noah Cleveland agrees._

" _I'm not saying she's not hot, I dated her for a while. I'm simply telling Jake that he doesn't know what he's getting himself into, that's all." Pete says as he grabs a glass from the cabinet in the break room._

" _Who doesn't know what they're getting into?" Amelia asks as she and the new midwife Paige Hamilton stroll into the break room._

" _Pete is warning Jake to stay away from Addison, again," Another fellow doctor, DeWayne Matthews informs them._

" _Ugh, either you're going to ask her out or you aren't," Paige says with a roll of her eyes as she shoves Pete out of the way to grab a bowl. The new doctors are adjusting fairly well with the old docs. Though there seems to be a weird bit of flirtation going on between Pete and Paige._

" _I said the same thing!" Amelia says, grinning up at Jake who raises an eyebrow at her._

" _I would've thought since you've known Sam the longest that-"_

" _I like Sam; do I think he's right for Addison? Hell no, I also thought that while my brother is a standup guy, asshole tendencies aside, he wasn't good for Addison, but nobody listened to me then either and well, we all know how that turned out," Amelia muttered, suddenly piquing the other doctor's interests. Juicy gossip about their new boss was always interesting._

" _Oh quit lookin at me like that, my loyalty is to Addison first. But seriously Reilly, she and Sam are practically done, so be a man and swoop in there and-"_

" _She and Sam are not done," Jake says giving Amelia a stern look._

" _Fine, fine, nobody bother Jake about Addison anymore. If he wants Sam kicking his ass for staring to hard at Addison, let him," Amelia says as everyone begins to mind their own business._

 _oOoOo_

" _So, you like her?" 18 year old Angela Reilly says as she and her dad stand in line at the movie theater._

" _You remember the one I told you about a few months ago? The woman I met in the grocery store?" Angela nods before her eyes widen._

" _Wait, Addison's the cute girl you totally flirted over pineapples with!?" Jake nods solemnly._

" _Oh, dude that's…why are you working for her again?" Angela wants to know._

" _I had no idea she owned that new practice, but you know me Ang. You know I never stay in one place too long,"_

" _So why are you perusing this woman when you know that in 6 months to a year's time you'll be gone? What if she starts falling for you? What then? You shouldn't string a girl along dad," Angela says quietly, thinking of her own recent break up with her boyfriend Marcus Payne._

" _I'm not that guy Ang; you know me. I'm a total gentleman, but this one…Addison seems, different," Jake says with a sigh._

" _I'd love to meet her; I'm totally a good judge of character," Angela smiles hopefully._

" _I don't want you to scare her off," Jake teases as Angela wraps an arm around him and smiles._

" _I didn't chase you off, did I? Best decision I didn't make, got me the best dad in the world," She says as Jake presses a kiss into her hair._

" _Ditto; got me the best kid ever…but that still doesn't mean you get to meet Addison," Jake says as Angela lets out a little groan before they order their tickets._

April 2016

Amelia is racing over to where the small crowd has gathered around Addison. She pushes past a few of the other doctors before crouching down in front of her sister-in-law.

"Addison? What happened?"

"She's fine Amelia, she fainted," Violet explains as Damien Sanchez and Esai Ramirez carry Addison inside one of the tents.

"She's obviously not fine, she fainted!" Amelia shouts as Charlotte races over to see what's going on.

"What happened to Addison? When I left she said she was about to call Jake," Charlotte glances over at Addison, who's slowly coming to.

"Amelia, there's something you should know," Violet says, gently placing a hand on the young neurosurgeon's shoulder. The look in Violet's eyes causes everything to shift; something bad has happened.

"What happened?" Violet glances over at Naomi and Sam, who are standing off by a tree on what appears to be a very serious phone call.

"Amelia…there was an accident, Jake and Angela are dead," Violet tells her.

"What? No? No, Jake's not, Jake can't be…"Amelia's eyes widen in shock at Violet's words.

"Jake and Angela were white water rafting earlier today and the waves got out of control, Addison tried to call Jake but…" Violet's voice is soft, comforting as everyone else stands there in shock.

"Wait, Violet, are you sayin…" Charlotte's eyes are just as wide as Amelia's; no one can believe it.

It's not until Addison lets out a gutwrenching scream of Jake's name, followed by an even more heartbreaking sob that everyone believes it's true. Sam walks over to the group, a look of anguish on his face and a heavy sigh on his lips; Naomi is in the tent with Addison, holding her close as she sobs.

"Sam…" Charlotte's arm is wrapped around Amelia, keeping her steady as Sam sighs once more, running a hand over his bald head.

"It's true; Jake and Angela were Whitewater rafting but they weren't expecting rough current. The boat capsized and took Angela under first, she hit her head on a rock, cracked her skull open. Jake tried to help her but, the water was so rough on his body…he got banged up pretty bad out there before help could get to him. He only lasted a few minutes after they got him to the hospital," Sam says as everyone glances over to the tent where Addison is asking Naomi why this happened through her sobs.

"Jesus goddamn Christ; just when you think it's over…just when you think we're done feeling pain, this happens," Charlotte lets out a ragged breath as Cooper moves to stand beside her, gently rubbing her back.

"I need to be with her, Jake was my family," Amelia has tears in her as she rushes towards Addison.

"Amelia," Charlotte's hand is gentle on her shoulder, though Amelia wrenches away.

"No! Don't Charlotte; Addison is my sister and Jake is my brother, I need to be with her right now," Charlotte's touch is a bit more firm this time.

"Amelia, Addison's gonna need somebody to look after Henry; you're his godmomma, she wouldn't want anybody else with him but you," Charlotte stares into Amelia's eyes, hoping that she gets it. Henry doesn't know, it'll be hard for him to understand what's going on.

"I get it, but please, at least let me see her?" Charlotte doesn't argue further, she and everyone else simply watch as Amelia makes a mad dash for the tent where Addison is.

December 2012

" _I still can't believe it, you're getting married again!" Naomi is in a full on grin as she sits beside her best friend, admiring her huge engagement ring._

" _Yeah, me either; we've only been together-"_

" _Doesn't matter how long you've been together, what matters is that you love him and he loves you and your son. He has to, he's already filed a petition to adopt Henry once you're married," Naomi says as Addison sighs heavily._

" _Addie, what is it?" Naomi asks._

" _What about you Nae?" Addison asks._

" _What about me?"_

" _Everyone around you is getting their happy ending; I mean, Cooper and Charlotte-"_

" _Who just lost one of the Cooplets," Naomi is quick to point out._

" _But they have each other, they have Mason, and Caroline, and Rachel. Amelia's got James and Colin, Pete and Paige are dating, all of the other doctors are already married with children. Sheldon found love before he died…"_

" _The only people who aren't finding happiness are me, Sam, and Violet is what you're saying" Naomi points out._

" _Oh no, Violet's extremely happy with her book and she's got that sorta kinda fling with the bookstore owner,"_

" _So what you're hinting at is that…no, Addison no!" Naomi practically shouts._

" _You don't even know what I was gonna-"_

" _You were gonna suggest that Sam and I-"_

" _I wasn't thinking about Sam," Addison says as Naomi narrows her eyes at her friend._

" _Yes you were, almost 20 years and you're still a shitty liar," Naomi laughs, reaching out to grab the chocolate sitting on the table._

" _Okay, so maybe I was thinking about it. If I'm being honest with myself, I think that's why he and I weren't able to work out. He wasn't willing to commit, not fully," Addison says quietly, unable to look up at Naomi's face._

" _Addison…"_

" _He hasn't been able to fully commit to anyone since you two divorced," Addison is quick to remind her._

" _No, I just…Sam left me, okay. He woke up one morning and divorced me and that, that hurt Addie. He divorced me and then, as much as I love you, he started dating my best friend since college. I don't…why'd you do it, Addison? Why did you and Sam betray me?" Naomi has tried not to ask that question but, with the way things have been progressing with Jake and Addison, she has to know._

" _I…Nae, it happened over time I guess. You moved away, started dating Fife and Bryce, and Duncan, and Archer, and William. You sort of moved away from the both of us and, well, you were that happy medium, that person we both turned to and, we were already friends and, it just…I think we were both hurting over losing you and-"_

" _Addison, you didn't lose me," Naomi groans._

" _Just, hear me out; you were angry at me because I took over the practice, you were angry at Sam because he divorced you and he was angry at you because of how you handled the Maya thing. We were all hurt and we'd all hurt each other. Sam was vulnerable, I was vulnerable and, we were weak. I know it's not what you wanna hear but, we were both weak. He was dealing with the Maya thing and I was still reeling over our thing and then my family drama happened and, Sam was there," Addison says with a small sigh._

" _So because you two were lonely and vulnerable you and Sam-"_

" _I honestly thought it would work; he was familiar, there was no new, getting to know you dance but then…when I realized that he had all of the things I didn't with you, things that I wanted and he wasn't willing to budge on…I knew it was over," Addison says as Naomi looks at her, really and truthfully looks at her._

" _So you think Sam didn't want kids with you because-"_

" _He'd already shared that with you," Addison says softly._

" _What about Derek, you and Derek-"_

" _You know there was that one time, with the miscarriage. We never talk about it but, he had no problems adopting children with Meredith and having more children with her,"_

" _Okay, there's-"_

" _Same thing with Cooper; he already had Mason and even though Charlotte was adamantly against it at first, she was willing to share that with Cooper, even though he'd already had that with Erica," Naomi sighs hard, shakes her head._

" _What about the other women he dated? What about Stephanie, she's nice,"_

" _Stephanie doesn't want kids," Naomi sighs heavily, resting her head against the cushions of Addison's couch._

" _That doesn't mean anything Addie, it just means-"_

" _He'd say your name, late at night when we were asleep. He thought I never heard him but, he would say your name," Addison looks almost ashamed to admit that and Naomi nearly chokes on her chocolate._

" _Wait, Sam would-"_

" _Yep, he doesn't know that I know, I never told him," Naomi takes Addison's hand and squeezes it._

" _Oh Addie, I'm-"_

" _I'm over it Nae, honestly; I found my perfect guy and I'm never letting him go," Addison grinned as Naomi nodded._

" _I really hope so too; I hope that you and Jake last forever. You deserve to be happy Addie,"_

April 2016

Naomi can't wrap her head around what's going on right now. Addison is in her arms sobbing hysterically over the loss of Jake. Damn, even thinking of him causes a lump to form in her throat. She really hoped this would be different for Addison, she really did. Now her best friend's entire world has been shattered after she's spent the last 9 years working to put it back together after everything that happened with Derek.

"Why?" Addison's mournful question makes Naomi look down at her. Addison's head is resting in her lap, much like it was when Bizzy died a few years back.

"I, I don't know Addie, but I promise you're gonna get through it. I promise you will, I'm right here, we're all here for you," Naomi soothes, running a hand through Addison's hair.

"But Henry, Henry will never…this wasn't supposed to happen!" Addison sobs even harder as Naomi holds her tight, her own tears spilling down her cheeks as the tent opens.

"Addie…" Amelia is just as much of a mess as Addison is as she rushes towards her sister-in-law. Naomi stands, moves aside as Amelia envelops Addison into a soul-crushing hug, which only seems to make her cry harder. She's about to leave the two alone for some privacy until Addison calls out to her.

"Nae, I need you, I can't get through this without you. Nae, don't don't leave me again," Naomi sighs as she sits beside Addison, holding her hand Amelia tries to soothe the ache in her heart, but no one can make this go away, unless they can make Jake and Angela come back to life.

But this isn't a fairytale; you can't bring back the dead.

 _Chapter 8 to follow…_


	8. Chapter 8

**I apologize to anyone who is reading both Home Again and the Fighting Our Way series. I never meant to have Addison heartbroken in two stories at once. It just happened; I apologize if updates get slow. I'm back in school and I've got some personal projects I'm working on that you guys should be on the lookout for. This is gonna be a slow burn for various reasons. The overall plot is heavy due to how I plan on dissecting the subject matter.** **Please keep in mind that the story is set in April of this year and will eventually move forward. Also keep in mind that we will be navigating through multiple POVs.**

 **Xx**

* * *

April 2016

The world is spinning; how could something like this happen? Sam sighs heavily as he leans against a tree; he's still holding Addison's phone. He shakes his head as his other colleagues begin hitting him with questions about what happened.

"Everybody calm down! I don't know what happened; all I know is that Addison is our boss and our friend. She's gonna needs us; she and Henry are the most important thing right now," He says to everyone as he looks at all of them; this shouldn't be happening again.

His eyes glance over to the tent when he hears Addison's sobs. His eyes meet Naomi's as she comforts Addison. They both silently communicate how bad this is going to be for her and how much she'll need them. He wants to comfort Addison, but he's hesitant to because of their long and complicated history. He's also thinking of Jake; Sam shakes his head. He thinks of Henry and how he's going to need a father. He knows what it's like to grow up without one, his own paternal circumstances notwithstanding. Henry's going to have lots of questions. He's seen, from a distance, of course, all of the little things Jake was starting to teach him in terms of what it means to be a man. The kid's only 4 and a half and he's already more of a gentleman than most men Sam knows. He sighs heavily once more; damn, this is so fucked up on so many levels.

"You okay man?" Cooper pats him on the shoulder, causing him to look up.

"Yeah, I just…I hate this man; I mean, this keeps happening to us. First, it was Dell and then Charlotte and then Pete, Amelia, and Colin, Sheldon, Georgia, now Jake," Sam runs a hand over his head, letting out a slow breath.

"I hate that Addison is going through this; I don't know what I would've done if I lost Charlotte. And poor Henry! He's only 4; he practically worships the ground Jake walks on. I mean, I know how hard it was for us with Mason, but I can't imagine how Addison's going to deal with this," Cooper glances over at the tent; Charlotte has carefully made her way into the tent.

"It's not just Henry who lost a parent; Raphael and Isabella lost their mom too. They're both orphans now,"

"What about their father? Wasn't he-"

"Angela's professor? He doesn't want anything to do with them from what Jake and Addie said," Cooper sighs again, shaking his head at the situation.

"So basically Addison-"

"Lost a husband and a daughter but gained two more kids. She's a widow raising 3 kids under the age of five," Sam says.

2013

 _"Hey, having a good time?" Addison looks absolutely gorgeous in her wedding gown as she makes her way towards Sam._

 _"Yeah, listen, Addie-"_

 _"It's okay Sam, really; I mean, we had what we had and it didn't work out," Addison says with a shrug._

 _"No, it's not that it's just that I-"_

 _"You're still in love with Nae, I get it Sam. You two still love each other, even if you're both too blind to see it," Addison laughs as Sam shakes his head._

 _"I don't-"_

 _"Yes you are Sam, it's why none of your relationships have worked out," Addison leans against one of the nearby tables and gives Sam an easy smile._

 _"Wow, you really have grown," Sam laughs as Addison joins in with him._

 _"Motherhood changed me; as much as I loved you, I had to put Henry first. I didn't want to be like my parents, with someone even though I know they don't really love me," Sam sighs and reaches for Addison's hand._

 _"I did love you Addie I just-"_

 _"Loved Naomi more?" Addison raises an eyebrow at him._

 _"We were in two different places at the time, everything you wanted-"_

 _"You'd already had that with Naomi," Sam blushes as he reluctantly admits that she's right, what she wanted, a family, children, he'd already had that with Naomi._

 _"It's okay Sam, really; besides, my wedding wouldn't have been as complete if Naomi wasn't here," they both pause and watch as Naomi laughs at something funny Charlotte and Violet are saying._

 _"I'm sorry, Addison, I really am," Addison again shakes her head slowly before turning to face him._

 _"Sam, you can either go after Naomi or you can sit here and be miserable, talking about what you should've, could've, and would've done in past relationships that didn't make you happy," Sam looks at Addison and shakes his head._

 _"Is that what you did?" Addison leans forward and presses a kiss to his cheek; it's friendly but filled with romantic nostalgia. It's the same way she kisses Derek when she visits Seattle._

 _"You deserve to be happy Sam," she tells him._

 _"Yeah, so do you, and I'm glad Jake's the one that makes you happy," Addison beams with pride as she watches her husband dance with both of their children._

Los Angeles

When Sam makes his way into the tent, all three women, Addison, Naomi, and, Amelia look up at him. All three of them are sporting wet cheeks and red-rimmed eyes full of sadness and sorrow.

"Addison I am so sorry," he lets out a deep breath as Addison watches him for a few moments before nodding.

She doesn't say much, which is a bit alarming for Sam and Naomi. A silent Addison in times of crisis is never, ever a good thing.

"Addie, do you need-"

"Where's Henry?" She sits up, immediately glancing around for her son.

"He's with James; he volunteered to keep all of the kids occupied while you-"

"What, dealt with the fact that my husband's dead?" there's a bitterness to her voice as she stands up, straightening the White pencil skirt she's wearing.

"Addison-" Amelia tries, though she pulls away as though she's been burned.

"I need to find Henry, I have to tell him that Jake…that his father died," She says nothing else, simply walks past them in search of her son.

"Anyone wanna bet that this whole thing ends badly?" Amelia tries for light humor though Sam and Naomi share a look.

"This is bad Sam, I mean, she's been thorough a lot; Bizzy dying, Archer having worms in his brain, Derek getting shot, then almost dying in a plane crash along with Mark but this-" Naomi shakes her head slowly as she watches her friend diplomatically receive condolences from their colleagues.

"This is different; she's never had a husband die before," Sam sighs as Amelia moves to stand next to him, resting her head on his shoulder as he looks down at her.

"Hey, how you holding up? I know how important Jake was to you," Sam says, wrapping an arm around her.

"It's not important; Addie and Henry are what's important," Amelia says quietly as Naomi makes a move to stand next to her as well.

"Addie and Henry are important, but it doesn't change who Jake was to you. He was your son's godfather Amelia and like a brother to you. He was there for you when you were pregnant with Colin. Your grief matters too, so if you need me or Sam, we're here as well," Amelia looks up at Naomi with grateful eyes and sighs.

"She is not doing well, and I'm scared that when she breaks-"

"She's gonna crumble? Yeah, me too," Naomi watches as Addison gently kneels in front of Henry. She speaks for a few moments before Henry is yelling at her and then hugging her tightly.

"I just hope that she doesn't shut down; she can't afford to, not with Henry and Raphael, and Isabella to look after," Sam says as Amelia and Naomi sigh.

"I keep forgetting that Angela died too," Naomi says.

"Does that make us bad people, that we're forgetting Angela's kids?" Amelia asks as they all continue to watch Addison, who's now carrying Henry.

"No; we've known Jake longer and we've watched Henry grow up. We know Angela because she's Jake's daughter and we're saddened by her loss, but Jake's loss cuts deeper for us because we saw him every day and he all saw how much he meant to Addison and Henry. That's like when Mason lost his mom; we all knew Erica and we were sad, but our pain was more for Coop, Charlotte and Mason," Sam explains as Addison moves back into the tent.

"I'm taking Henry and I'm going home; I need to make arrangements to fly out there or have their bodies…or have them flown here. I have to call Jake's sisters and Archer and find a priest because Jake was so much more religious than me. Can you believe he made me have Henry baptized?" Addison's nervous talking and Naomi can see right through it.

"Why don't Amelia, Charlotte and I come with you?" Naomi offers as Addison shakes her head.

"I'm fine," her response is cold and quick as Amelia sighs.

"You're not fine Addie, your husband just-"

"Don't Amelia! Do not say it!" Addison raises her voice, making Henry jump slightly.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she murmurs before pressing a kiss into his curls.

"Addie, you and Henry shouldn't be alone right now; please, let us be there. We don't have to do anything, just let us be your friends and support you," It takes a few minutes but Addison concedes.

"Under one condition; if Violet comes she is not allowed to talk shrink talk. She can't look at me with pity or sympathy. None of you can, because the minute you do, you get out. You come, you drink wine and you let me cry on your shoulders and get ridiculously drunk, deal?" Naomi and Amelia give her a smile before agreeing.

"Cooper, Pete and I will handle things here; we're here for you if you need us, Addie," Sam reaches out and gently pecks her cheek, watching as tears well up in her eyes.

"Thank you," she manages to choke out before Naomi and Amelia usher she and Henry away.

 _Chapter 9 to follow…_

* * *

 **I'm sorry the update took so long. I'm a full-time college senior, I'm working as a partial live-in-nanny, I'm interning, I'm the editor-in-chief for an online national news community, and I'm working on a super secret project that I want to tell you all about but I can't right now.**

 **Life is crazy right now, but I promise to update when I can. Chapter 9 will delve a little into Henry's POV with more of Addison's grief. We probably won't see what's going on with the Seattle gang for a couple more chapters. I ask that you all be patient with me in terms of updates. It's a slow, angsty burn but it's a beautiful story, I promise!**

 **Take Care everyone,**

 **Xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**We're switching POVs again; this time we're looking at Henry's perspective. In case you're wondering what Henry looks like now, think of Taye Digg's son Walker. I'm also briefly mentioning Sam and Naomi's son, Elijah, aka, EJ.** **Keep in mind that this story is a slow burn. It's a slow burn because of the process in which I'm exploring each person's grief. We'll be getting a lot of POVs in this story as a result. I know it might be hard to keep up but, but just know that there is a method behind the madness. Oh, and you might wanna keep some tissues handy because this story's a tear jerker. Also, if you're reading this story coupled with my Fighting Our Way, I'm sorry for the double dose of sadness you're getting.**

* * *

Los Angeles-March 19, 2016 (Two Weeks Ago)

Henry Forbes Montgomery is an early riser; he doesn't know why he just is. Mama says he's always been an 'early baby', whatever that means. He's 4 now, which means he's a big boy like Lucas and Mason. In…5 more months, he'll be going to preschool. Going to preschool is cool because he's tired of day care at mama and daddy's job. Daycare is where the babies like Colin, Caroline, Rachel, and EJ go.

It's Saturday, so that means no work for mama and daddy today. He has to be very quiet when he wakes up. Mama and daddy both save babies for a living; saving babies is a hard job Henry muses. On Saturdays, after daddy wakes up, they go downstairs and watch whatever game is on TV. Sometimes they watch the game with Uncle James and Colin. Sometimes, they go over to Sam and Aunty Nae's house to watch the game with Cooper, Mason, EJ, Pete, and Lucas.

He likes hanging out with the boys, though EJ cries too much. EJ's still a little baby; he's almost 2 so he's not a big boy yet. Mama says that he should be nice to EJ and play with him. Henry's favorite person (besides Mama, Daddy, and Angela) is Colin. Colin is his best friend and his godbrother, whatever that word means. Colin can't talk; he uses sign language. Something happened to him when he was in Aunty Amelia's tummy. Nobody ever talks about it; the grownups get really quiet about that.

Henry's learning sign language so that he can talk to Colin. Everybody at the practice knows sign language so that they can talk to Colin. Other than learning sign language, Henry's favorite thing to do is speak Spanish. He can count all the way to twenty…four in Spanish. He knows how to say 'how are you', 'good night', 'good morning', 'please' 'I love you', and 'thank you'. Mama and daddy speak better Spanish than he does, but they speak it around him a lot so that he'll get better. They speak it to each other a lot; sometimes they speak Spanish and end up kissing. Yuck!

When he wakes up in the morning, the first thing he does, after going to the bathroom, is see if his parents are awake. Their room is one, two…four doors down the hall from his. When he walks out of his room, Milo their cat is purring at his feet. He likes Milo; mama's had Milo longer than she's had him and daddy. Henry reaches down to pick the cat up; it's a bit of a struggle because Milo is almost as big as he is.

"What are you doing Henry?" He looks up when he hears Mama's voice from the end of the hall.

Mama's really pretty; she's tall and she has really really red hair. It's his favorite thing about her. He also likes the color of her eyes; they're blue like the ocean. Mama is standing there with a smirk on her face; her hair is kinda messy and she's wearing her silky robe.

"Hi mama, Milo and me were just coming to say hi," Henry grins at mama.

"Oh, were you?"Mama walks towards him and picks him up, but she leaves Milo on the ground.

She gives him Eskimo kisses, that's their special thing and he likes it. Henry likes the way mama smells too, she always smells warm and pretty, like all mommies are supposed to.

"Good morning my sweet boy," He likes the way mama looks at him; it makes his insides feel all fuzzy.

"Hey, there's my boy! Good Morning Henry!" Henry peers over mama's shoulders when he hears his daddy's voice.

Henry loves daddy almost as much as he loves mama. He scrunches his nose when daddy bends forward to give mama a kiss; kissing is gross. Well, it's gross when mama and daddy do it, but not when they kiss him.

"Did you have a sleep good sleep buddy?" Daddy reaches out to ruffle his hair.

"He's gonna need a haircut soon," Mama muses as daddy hums in agreement.

"So, what's on the agenda today sport?" Henry giggles at how daddy talks to him like a grown up.

"Daddy, what's a 'genda?" Mama and daddy share a look of amusement before mama explains,

"An agenda is like a list of things you're gonna do,"

"Oh. So what's on our 'genda today daddy?"

"We can figure it out after we have breakfast, how's that sound?" Henry pretends to think it over. Mama and daddy laugh before mama gives him a kiss.

"I think I want pancakes for breakfast, what about you boys?" Mama grins as she looks between him and daddy.

"I dunno, what do you think Henry?" Henry shrugs his shoulders. Mama rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"How in the world did I get stuck with a bunch of boys?" she teases as they head downstairs. Milo decides to follow them downstairs too.

"Hey, don't forget Angela and Isabella," daddy points out.

"Yeah mama, you forgot Angela and Isabella!" Angela is his big sister and Isabella is his…niece!

Yeah, that's the word; she's his niece and her brother Raphael is his n-neph…nephew! Angela's a grown up like mama and daddy, but Angela has a different mommy; her mommy's name was Lily, she's in heaven now. Angela lives all the way in this place called South America.

"Ang and Isabella don't live here; so I'm stuck with you two!" Mama teases before she's playing the airplane game with him.

Henry loves it when they play airplane. Mama and daddy toss him between one another before tossing him onto the couch where they try and tickle him to death. In the end, daddy ends up making pancakes for mama. Mama makes a smiley face out of his cut up bananas, strawberry, and whipped cream. After breakfast, they go for a walk on the beach. That's Henry's favorite thing about their house, they have a beach in the backyard.

They spend the afternoon on the beach; Mama sits on a beach towel with her big beach hat and sunglasses while he and daddy splash in the water. Sam, Aunty Nae, and EJ come over and play with them. Henry has to remember to be careful with EJ; he's not a big boy like he is. Daddy and Sam are on the deck at the grill while mama and Aunty Nae splash around in the water with him and EJ.

Today, Henry thinks to himself, is the best day ever.

oOoOo

Sunday Morning is spent snuggled in bed beside mama while daddy makes breakfast. He really likes Sundays because mama reads the funny papers to him. She even does funny little voices. They sit in bed and watch cartoons; lazy Sunday mama calls it. After breakfast, they get on the iPad and talk to Angela. Henry always likes it when they talk to Ang, he just hates that she lives so far away.

"So dad, are you still coming out to visit?" Angela is sitting outside on her deck; Henry can see the ocean from Angela's deck.

"Angela! I didn't know you had a beach in your backyard too!" Angela grins at him.

"I figured since you're my little brother, I should have the beach as my backyard too,"

"That makes us twinsies, right mama?"

"That's right Henry; you and Ang are totally twinsies,"

"Maybe after dad visits, he can bring you and Addison with him and we can build sandcastles together?" Henry's eyes light up at the idea of building sandcastles with Angela.

"Ooh, like last time you came home? You make the best sandcastles Ang!" Angela laughs before promising that the next time they see each other that they're going to build a sandcastle together, just the two of them. Henry goes back to watching cartoons while daddy, mama, and Angela talk about daddy's trip to see her in…four days.

oOoOo

On the day that daddy leaves for his trip to see Angela Henry is sad. Mama lets him stay out of daycare so that he can go with her to the airport. Henry only wants daddy while they wait for his plane to board. He's quiet, sits in daddy's lap while daddy promises to call him every day.

"Do you have to go daddy?" Henry's doing his pouty face; he hopes that it works.

"I told Ang I'd come visit her and Raphael and Isabella, and you know how important it is to keep your word," Henry groans, burying his head in daddy's chest.

"But, I don't want you to go! I'll miss you. And…mama's sp'ghetti isn't as good as yours, and she doesn't watch football," Henry's protests are meant to be in a whisper but he's four and hasn't quite mastered whispering so mama hears him.

"Hey! I heard that Henry!" Mama tries to be silly and make him feel better but it doesn't work.

"It's only for 2 weeks Henry. I promise when I get back, you and me, we'll have a guys day," Daddy presses a kiss to his head just as the lady comes on the big speaker and says that daddy has to leave.

Henry reluctantly stands by mama's side as she gives daddy a kiss and says other yucky grown up things. Daddy crouches down in front of him and gives him a big bear hug. Daddy pokes and tickles and squeezes until Henry is giggling and grinning.

"Be a good boy for your mom okay?" Henry bites his bottom lip and tries not to cry.

"Te Amo mi Hijo," Henry nods, parroting the words right back.

Daddy grabs his bag and walks through the door to get on his plane. Mama lets him stand at the window and watch daddy's plane go into the sky. She carries him to the car; when they get home, she's really nice to him. She gives him all the kisses and cuddles he wants. She even lets him sleep in her bed. Henry sleeps on daddy's side and manages to have a good dream about all of the fun things he and daddy are gonna when he comes back in…13 days. 13 days is a really long time when you're 4.

April 2, 2016

Daddy will be back in two more days! Mama has helped him but a big 'X' on the calendar for everyday daddy is gone. He still misses daddy but daddy calls him every night and they talk about his day. He gets to talk to Angela too; Isabella is trying to walk and that makes mama, daddy, and Angela really proud. Yesterday daddy said that he and Angela were gonna get on a tiny boat and swim. Henry was jealous; he wishes he could've gotten to go on the tiny boat with daddy and Angela. He's stuck at home with mama, but at least he gets to go to the park today.

There's a thing for mama's work that they're going to. Henry likes going to the park; his nanny Keisha takes him when mama and daddy have to work late. His favorite thing about the park is the huge playground, he likes the slide and the monkey bars. Mama laughs at him when he gets out of the car and runs over to the playground.

"Slow down Henry!" Henry looks back at mama and grins, but he doesn't stop.

Mama shakes her head at him before she starts talking to Aunty Amelia and Charlotte. Henry goes to his favorite spot on the playground, the huge tower. Up here, he can see everything. He likes to pretend that he's on a pirate ship. He and Lucas sword fight until Lucas pretends to fall overboard and goes down the pole. Henry follows him and they head over to the monkey bars. Mama doesn't like it when Henry's on the monkey bars because he likes to hang upside down. One time, he was hanging upside down on the monkey bars and fell.

He scared mama so bad; he even scared daddy a little bit too. He's got a scratch on the right side of his forehead where Cooper had to give him stitches. He didn't cry; he just 'got the wind knocked out of him'. Cooper said that meant for a second, he couldn't breathe. After that, mama wouldn't let him get on the monkey bars. Today, she isn't paying any attention, she's on the phone with somebody. He looks up when he a pair of tiny hands tap his shoulders.

"Hey, Colin!" Colin waves hi back to him.

Henry's sitting on top of the monkey bars looking at all of the people at the park for mama and daddy's work thing. Hmm, that's funny; he doesn't see mama anywhere. If she saw him she'd totally be yelling at him to get down. When he looks around again Uncle James is walking towards him.

"Hey boys, why don't go get some ice cream?" Colin claps his hands excitedly while Henry lets out a whoop of joy.

Uncle James makes sure that Henry doesn't fall off of the monkey bars. Henry knows he's helping so that mama doesn't get scared. After they order their ice cream, they're sitting on the bench. Uncle James keeps looking over at the big White tent where all the grown-ups are.

"Uncle James, why do you keep looking over there?" Henry scrunches his head when he asks this question.

Uncle James is quiet and he's got that funny look on his face. You know, the one grownups get when they're not supposed to tell you something. He goes back to eating his ice cream; he laughs a little when some of it dribbles down his thigh. He's so busy watching the ants on the ground that he doesn't notice Mama walking towards him.

He looks up when he feels her running her hands through his hair. Mama looks like she's been crying.

"Mama, what's wrong?" Henry smiles at her, but it only makes her cry harder.

"Mama, why are you crying? Don't cry," Henry tries to wipe her tears. That always makes him feel better when he's sad.

"Henry, I have to tell you something very important. I need you to listen to me, okay?" Henry nods and does his best to listen.

"What is it, mama?" Mama takes a shaky breath before she starts talking again.

"Henry, your daddy and Angela were in an accident today and…they died,"

Henry knows a little bit about dying. He knows that Sheldon died when he was 3. He remembers that they went to church and people were sad. Mama said that the big shiny box Sheldon was in was called a casket. She told him that Sheldon was taking a really long nap. He remembers when they put Sheldon's big box into a hole in the ground. Henry frowns; if Daddy and Angela died like Sheldon did then that means…

"But mama, daddy can't die; he's supposed to be coming home in, in 2 more days!" Mama bites her lip like he does when he's trying to be brave.

"I know honey but, daddy, daddy isn't coming home," Henry frowns; daddy has to come home! He promised!

They're supposed to have a boy's day when he gets back., Angela said that they could visit her and they were gonna build sandcastles because Ang is the best at making sandcastles. Henry's frown turns into a scowl; there's no way daddy would lie. He never, ever breaks his promises.

"That's not true," Henry juts his lower lip out in protest.

"It is….daddy and Angela died today," Mama sighs and runs a hand through her hair.

"No! It's not true! Daddy promised; and, and daddy never breaks his promises!" Mama is crying again and her voice comes out all wobbly when she says his name.

"Henry…"

"No. No, no, no, no, no! It's not true!" Henry is yelling at her. Henry is crying because mama's crying and because daddy and Angela died.

"Henry…"

"NO!" Henry jumps up off the bench and mama holds him.

He kicks at her, does his best to shove her away but she won't let go. He's screaming at her but she's still holding him. She's whispering to him that it's okay to be sad that daddy died, but Henry isn't sad because daddy didn't die. Daddy can't die, he's not old and he's not sick like Sheldon was. Henry kicks and yells until he's tired. Then, he lies his head on mama's shoulder and cries. His chest feels achy and heart hurts.

Daddy died today.

 _Chapter 10 to follow…_

* * *

 **Okay, even I needed tissues after writing that! I absolutely adore Henry. I hope that I portrayed his understanding of death in a realistic way. In chapter 10, we'll be navigating through quite a few POVs, particularly Addison and Henry's. We're also gonna make a stop in Seattle and check in on Derek and Mark. I may even tease a little Izzie/Alex for my soul sister Darley1101. Please bear with me in terms of updates. Real life comes first. If you all are patient with me I PROMISE I have something really good coming for you all. You can even ask Darley1101, but she can't tell because it's a surprise, one I think you all will like!**

 **Enjoy (or go cry your eyes out, because poor Henry!)**

 **Xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey, guys!**

 **I apologize for the long wait; real life has gotten a bit hectic lately. Did you enjoy the last update? I know it was sad, but I felt like Henry's POV was important. This next chapter we'll be jumping between LA and Seattle and we're gonna get more of Derek and Amelia's POVs. There will be background Addison but mostly we're gonna focus on the Shepherd's this chapter.**

 **Enjoy,**

 **Xx**

* * *

Seattle:

Derek lies in bed that night snuggled up next to his wife and children but couldn't seem to fall asleep. His mind is still reeling from the events of the day; his patient died and then he'd found out that Addison's husband had died. That's the thing that bothers him the most, Addison's husband being dead. He carefully untangled himself from Bailey and Zola's arms and legs. He presses a kiss to their foreheads as well as Meredith's before heading downstairs.

It's still a bit strange to be back in Meredith's childhood house, even if it's only temporary. Everyone else has gone home or to their respective places for the night. He makes his way into the kitchen and reaches for a beer before taking a seat at the nearby dining room table. He closes his eyes as his mind continues to drift back to Addison. He can't stop thinking about her and what she must be going through. He reaches for his cell phone and dials her number. He's surprised but not so surprised when Amelia picks up.

"Derek, hey," He can tell that his sister has been trying to deal with the grief in her own way.

"Amy, how ya holding up?" Amelia sighs heavily on the other end of the phone.

"I just keep thinking back to when dad died and…Henry's so little," Derek's heart clenches at the sound of his sister's choked sob.

"Not much younger than you were,"

"I just…Jake was like my family; he was there for me when nobody else was,"

"Don't say that Amy,"

"No, I mean, I know Addison was here for me but, Jake being there for me didn't include him possibly flying you and mom out on a plane to come kick my ass," Derek chuckles; she's got him there.

"No, it didn't but now that Jake's…you've still got me, and Mark. You've still got two big brothers left,"

"Thanks, Derek,"

"How's Addie holding up?"

"Addison is…ridiculously drunk right now," Amelia drawls as Derek frowns.

"She's drunk?"

"It's her way of dealing; Naomi's upstairs with her now. She almost lost it after having to tell Henry that his father was dead,"

"How'd he take it?"

"He's angry; called Addison a liar, said she didn't love him…"

"That's gotta hurt,"

"I think it hurts her even more that Angela's dead too,"

"Angela?" Derek frowns.

"Jake's daughter; you met her at the wedding, remember?"

Los Angeles-2013

" _Okay , so I have to warn you ; Jake's got a 19-year-old daughter," Addison mutters into Derek's ear as they leave the terminal._

" _So you're a step mom now?" Derek teases as Addison rolls her eyes at him._

" _Do not judge me, Derek Shepherd, don't you dare judge me." Derek chuckles and shakes his head._

" _I'm not judging, honest,"_

" _Yes, you are! You're wearing your 'I'm totally judging you Addison' face!" Derek laughs at his ex-wife as they round a corner where Callie is waiting with Mark, Sofia, Henry, Jake, and presumably his daughter._

" _Derek, nice to finally meet you man," Jake isn't what he was expecting his ex-wife's soon to be husband to look like._

" _Nice to meet you too; you're lucky, Addie's a wonderful woman," Derek said with a smile as Jake glanced over at Addison._

" _You don't have to tell me," Jake is taller than Derek, though he looks like they could be the same age. Addison seems to be absolutely smitten with him, which is good; she deserves some good things in her life after all she's been through._

" _I'm sure you know who this handsome fella is," Henry is now perched on Addison's hip as she points at Derek._

" _Derek, this is Henry; Henry honey, this is mama's good friend Derek, can you say hi?" Derek gives Henry a grin and a wave._

" _How ya doin Henry, your mommy told me so much about you," Henry gives Derek a little wave before burying his head into his mother's chest._

" _He's usually not this shy around people," Addison says, running a hand through Henry's curls._

" _Give him some time, he'll warm up to you; I'm their other kid, Angela," the young woman walks up to him and extends a hand. She looks like Jake but then she doesn't._

" _Jake's my stepdad; waltz his way into my life when I was about 5. It's fine, I could tell you were looking for resemblances between us," Angela says._

" _She's very straight forward and observant," Addison says with a laugh._

" _I noticed; have you considered a career in medicine?" Derek teases as Angela laughs; she's got a nice laugh._

" _Nah, my dad's been oh so subtly throwing hints at me that I should go pre-med, but I'm an English major,"_

" _I always liked English in school,"_

" _Liar; you liked our English teacher because she had great-"_

" _Mark, children in the vicinity," Addison scolds as Derek shakes his head._

" _Okay so, I had other reasons for liking English, but I did write Addison a pretty great song when we got married,"_

" _Yeah, I've heard about that song; it sounded like it was the worst song ever. Did you really rhyme 'gross anatomy class' with 'Addison's fine ass'?" Angela tilts her head to the side to stare at him in a judging manner._

" _I didn't write that line, Mark did," Angela glances over at the plastic surgeon and rolls her eyes._

" _I shouldn't be surprised at all should I?" Angela says as everybody laughs._

" _Mark has slept with all of Derek's sisters,"_

" _He also slept with my ex-wife," Derek jokes; it's nice that after all these years they can joke about the affair. Apparently Jake knows about it as well because he laughs along with them._

" _Tell me, how the hell are you two still friends after he slept with all…doesn't he have 4 sisters?" Angela turns around to ask Addison._

" _That's right,"_

" _Wait, you slept with Amelia too!?"_

" _It was a onetime thing with Amy," Mark says in his defense._

" _Still…is there anyone he hasn't slept with?"_

" _He hasn't slept with anyone at the practice," Addison says with a smile._

" _Well that's promising," Angela says as they leave the airport and head back to Jake and Addison's place._

 _oOo_

"I remember Angela, I didn't know she-"

"Yeah, she had two kids; a three-year-old and an infant," Derek sighs heavily.

"Does Addie know what happened?"

"She's being vague about it; Jake went down to Brazil to visit Angela and her kids. From Sam got out of coast guard, Jake and Angela were out white water rafting, but they rode into a serious current. Angela was thrown overboard; she died instantly, cracked skull. Jake died from mostly blunt force trauma and internal injuries," Derek shook his head and took another swig of his beer; damn this was bad.

"Does Addie know all of this?"

"Sam told her and she screamed at him, told him to get the fuck out, said he was a pathetic piece of shit. She was, she was worse than I was when I was on drugs,"

"She's grieving Amy,"

"No, I've seen Addison when she's grieving; the way she reacted when Sam told her was just…she was a bitch to him, Derek."

"Like I said-"

"Sam said she wasn't even that mean to him when Bizzy died,"

"Addison didn't love Bizzy, not the way she loved Jake."

"How do you-"

"We talked a few days ago, before…all of this happened,"

Seattle 2 Days Ago

 _Derek is furious as he drives, his mind is swimming; he can't seem to get his thoughts together. He and Meredith have just had another fight, it's all they seem to do as of late. You would think that the plane crash would've brought them closer together. Instead, it seems to have driven them further apart. He was no longer the man that Meredith had fallen in love with; that man died when Derek got shot. Time has changed him, and it hasn't been for the better._

 _Somedays, he wishes that stupid plane crash had never happened, because it ruined his life. His career hasn't been the same and they all lost so much. Lexie died, Mark almost died; Arizona lost her leg, cheated on Callie and moved to Malawi. Even people who weren't in the plane crash had suffered. Richard was nearly electrocuted to death, Adele died, Richard had a stroke and had to stop practicing medicine altogether. Everything seemed to be turned upside down and he couldn't figure out why. Derek absently picked up his phone and dialed an all too familiar number._

" _Derek, this is a surprise, what's up?" Addison's voice seemed to float through the phone as she spoke._

" _I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me,"_

" _Okay…"_

" _Before you slept with Mark, did you ever think about leaving me?" There's a long pause on the line that makes Derek think Addison has hung up on him._

" _Addie, are you still there?"_

" _I'm here,"_

" _Did you hear me, I asked you-"_

" _I, I know what you asked me, Derek, I just…where the hell is this coming from?" Addison sighed._

" _I just…I don't know if Meredith and I are gonna make it,"_

" _And you're calling me to ask me if I ever-"_

" _I didn't mean to upset you, Addison, I just, I wanted to know if you thought about it."_

" _I did,"_

" _What made you change your mind?" He can almost feel Addison's smile on the other end of the phone when she responds,_

" _Because I loved you too much…and for what it's worth, I loved you even when I cheated with Mark. I was hurt Derek, you were never home and when you were all we did was fight or you ignored me and-"_

" _Is that why in the last few years you were so adamant about not having children?" He knows that he's prodding but, he has to know._

" _Derek, we weren't ready to be parents, not back then. Listen, you and I happened in another lifetime. We've both moved on, we have great new spouses, wonderful kids…if you love Meredith, you'll actually stop and listen to what she's saying,"_

" _So you're saying I didn't listen to you?"_

" _I'm saying you didn't listen and, I didn't try because after so long I got tired of fighting. You're a smart man Derek, don't let history repeat itself with Meredith. The heartbreak will be so much worse this time because there are two great little kids involved. Talk to Meredith, try and understand-"_

" _I'm not the same anymore Addie; that man, the one Meredith fell in love with, he died a long time ago," He frowns when he hears his ex-wife chuckling on the other end of the phone._

" _What's so funny?"_

" _Derek, you're significantly older than Meredith,"_

" _Yeah, so?"_

" _That makes a big difference; you two have always wanted different things and it's taken you guys a while to get on the same page."_

" _Are you and Jake-"_

" _On the same page? We weren't at first; I thought I wanted a family with Sam but, Jake waited for me to get my shit together and stop being an idiot. Meredith is waiting on you to get it together but, she's not gonna wait forever Derek,"_

" _When did you get to be so wise about Meredith?" Derek teases; it does him good to hear his ex-wife laughing._

" _I'm not a Meredith Grey expert, but I am a Derek Shepherd expert. Just because we've been divorced for eleven years doesn't erase the fact that I have almost 20 years of being your lover, your wife, and your friend," Derek goes silent for a moment, thinking back to all the years they'd spent together. Aside from Mark, Addison is perhaps the person who knows him best._

" _So, Derek Shepherd expert, what do I do?"_

" _Stay with Meredith, and for god sakes go get some help!" Derek frowns when she mentions him getting help._

" _What-"_

" _You need to talk to a therapist; in the last 6 years you've been shot and almost killed in a plane crash. We're not even gonna talk about our marriage and your father's death," She's got a point there._

" _Okay, so maybe I do need help, then what?"_

" _You can't save your marriage to Meredith unless you're willing to fix yourself and running off to Washington D.C. won't help,"_

" _Who told you?"_

" _Bailey…and Callie and Mark told me last week; he's threatening to call in the Calvary, aka your mother," Derek groans at the idea of his mother coming to Seattle to visit._

" _Alright, alright, you guys win,"_

" _It's not about us winning Der, it's about you not being a divorced 50-year-old single dad," Derek laughs a little._

" _I could always-"_

" _If you even think about getting married a third time I will personally come to Seattle and kick your ass," Addison jokingly warns as the two laugh a little longer before falling into a comfortable silence._

" _Do you think Jake is the one, Addie?"_

" _Yes," she says without hesitation._

" _Wow, you sound so sure of yourself,"_

" _That's because I am; the only way Jake and I don't make it is if some unforeseen tragedy happens…"_

"I didn't know you two talked,"

"Yeah, I called her about Meredith."

"You called your ex-wife to talk about problems you're having with your wife?"

"Addison and I have that kind of relationship," Amelia hums in response, though her voice is muffled by the sound of another voice that's barely audible. Almost immediately he can tell that the person on the other line is no longer Amelia.

"Derek…"

"Addison," His heart clenches at the sound of her choked sob.

"Jake's dead,"

"I know; Addie I'm so sorry…"

"Why did this happen, Derek? Jake's such a good swimmer and so is Angela and-" He can hear her breath hitching as she tries to talk through her sobs.

"Addison, calm down okay? I know its hard and I know it hurts but just take a deep breath Addie, just breathe." The line goes silent for a few moments in which he assumes that Amelia and Naomi are trying to help her stay calm.

"Addison?"

"I'm here…Derek, I know this is crazy but, can you just…Derek, I need you." It's impulsive but he finds himself uttering the exact two words he knows she needs to hear, just as Meredith walks into the kitchen.

"I'll be there,"

 _Chapter 11 to follow…_

* * *

 **To all you MerDer lovers, stay calm; I'm not breaking them up. I think the Derek/Addison friendship is lovely and beautiful and I'm definitely going to explore it in this fic. Plus, I feel like Derek would be one of the first people Addison would call in times of crisis. The next chapter will have more of Addison's POV after she tells Henry. We'll also delve into Mark and Callie's POV with a minor snippet of Izzie and Alex. I know how much my soul sister Darley1101 loves Izzie and Alex, but it'll probably be a background story for a few chapters, at least until we jump to the present. I wanna estimate and say we've got about maybe 5 chapters before we experience a tiny time jump. Also, we probably won't see Jake or Angela's POV until towards the end of the story. I'm saving their POVs and exactly what happened to them for very special reasons. I can't make any promises in terms of how long this story will be or how long you'll have to wait in between updates. I'm a college senior with a lot going on right now. I'm taking 17 semester hours, I'm doing a 270-hour internship over the course of this school years, I'm applying to Graduate schools, I'm a nanny, I serve as an Editor-in-Chief for The Odyssey, a national online news website for millennials. I'm also working on a very super special secret project…well, it's not a secret but it's something I can't share with you guys just yet. Also, if you've got me listed as a favorite author, you'll notice that some of the stories you may have been following are gone. I took them down to revamp them. I'm going to repost them, don't worry; they'll be better thought out.**

 **This author's note got long, as usual, but I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'll try and work on the next chapter as soon as possible.**

 **Take Care everyone!**

 **Xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**When I started brainstorming this chapter I knew where I wanted to go, but by muse decided to push me in a completely different direction. So instead of trying to write what I wanted to, I'm just going to follow my muse's lead. We're starting off chapter 11 a time jump…yay! I promise to give you guys flashbacks so that you don't get confused. Keep in mind that this is a very heavy and emotionally charged story, so if you need to pull away for a while I totally understand. Thank you all for bearing with me as I write this story, it really means a lot to me.**

 **Just to make things clear, this time-jump starts around the end of October, so we're officially in real time…yay!**

 **Enjoy,**

 **Xx**

* * *

Seattle, Washington

October 27, 2016

Addison hates domestic shopping; she hates it with a passion. She's currently standing in the checkout line at Target. She really wishes that there weren't so many people using self-checkout. Addison lets out a heavy sigh as she gently taps her fingers against the basket. She's been at work all day and she just wants to get home, but when she picked up Henry from the hospital day care he had a note from his school saying that each parent was required to bring in one dish or treat for the class Halloween party…which is tomorrow.

Fucking perfect.

"Mama, the line's moving," She looks down when she feels Henry's hand tugging on her scrubs.

She sighs heavily as she comes back to reality; she glances down to find 14-month-old Isabella babbling to herself as she sits strapped in the basket. Her heart sinks into her chest when she realizes she's missing a kid.

"Henry, where's Raphael?" Henry shrugs up at her innocently.

"Henry…"

"I don't know mama, honest." Addison takes a deep breath as she pinches the bridge of her nose as she steps around her son. Raphael has a terrible habit of running off from her and finds it even more amusing to scare the living hell out of her when she does find him.

"Stay here and watch Isabella for me, okay?" Henry nods as Addison makes her way past him. She doesn't miss the annoyed stares of the folks waiting in line behind her. She peers out into the rest of the store to see if she sees Raphael. It takes a few seconds but she spots him over in the clothing isle talking to a stranger.

"Raphael, there you are!" The little boy looks back at her and grins.

"Hi, Addison!" She can't help but to smile at him, he's so cute with his big brown eyes, his curly hair and those dimples; Addison is a sucker for the dimples.

"Raphael, what have I told you about running away from me?" She turns her attention to the man standing next to him.

"I hope he wasn't any trouble to you…" her breath catches in her throat at the sight of the man in front of her. He looks like Jake, he even smiles at her in that same way Jake used to.

"It's completely fine, I was just telling him that he shouldn't run off from his mom," Addison has to remind herself to breathe before she responds.

"Oh I'm not…he's my daughter's son,"

"You don't look old enough to have a daughter-"

"She was my step daughter,"

"Oh. You said was…"

"She died a few months ago," This incredibly handsome man even smiles at her sympathetically, like Jake used to.

"Oh, I'm sorry; hey little man, how about you don't give your grand-"

"Oh, we don't say grandmother," the man chuckles before turning his attention back towards Raphael.

"Why don't we give your…Addison, a hard time, huh?" Raph nods and gives the man a smile before taking Addison's hand into his own.

"Thank you," The response is automatic but she can't stop staring at him. God, he looks just like Jake and that's what makes it hurt.

"No problem; and I'm sorry. You and your husband must have-"

"I lost him too," She wears a sad smile on her face as she watches his response change once again.

"Wow. I'm really sorry…."

"Thank You; you know, I didn't catch your name?"

"Christopher, Christopher James,"

"Well, thank you again, Christopher,"

"Chris is just fine; and again, I'm really sorry for your loss, both of them"

"Thanks again,"

"No problem. Hey, remember what I told you Raphael; be a good boy for Addison, okay?"

"I will Chris, bye!"

By the time she makes it back to the checkout line, the cashier has already bagged up her groceries, though she looks completely annoyed. Henry and Isabella are standing next to an elderly couple; the old man is holding Isabella on his hip.

"We decided to let you go ahead of us," the old woman says.

"Thank you, and I'm so sorry; he just got away from me, that's all," Addison graciously accepts Isabella from the old man.

"You looked so frazzled when you turned around and realized that he was gone,"

"I was; he likes to sneak off like that and scare me half to death," She unconsciously ruffles Raphael's hair while simultaneously trying to keep his arm from grabbing the Reese's Pieces bar on the shelf beside them.

"You've got quite the family," Addison doesn't get a chance to respond because someone from behind her is snapping at her to 'hurry it up'. She takes a calming breath before thanking the old couple. She immediately puts Raphael into the basket and instructs him not to move. She tries to ignore the curious stare she's getting from the cashier as she swipes her card to pay for her groceries. Of course, she knows why the woman is staring; she's a well to-do looking White woman with a Black child and two Hispanic children. She holds her tongue but oh does she want to give the cashier a piece of her mind. She decides to send the woman a reproachful look instead; that makes the woman avert her eyes. She finally loses it when that same idiot from before snaps about how it's about fucking time she got done. She whips around to give the man her infamous Satan glare before adding,

"If you're in that big of a hurry, you could've taken your stupid beer to register 4," She wants to say more, wants to rip the son of a bitch a new one for daring to say anything to her but she doesn't not with the way Henry is looking at and especially not with the way Raph is giggling from his spot in the basket…and he's also stuffing his face with a bag of crackers he's opened, even better. Instead, she takes Henry by the hand and leads him and her basket out of the store.

Los Angeles, 6 Weeks Ago

" _You can't keep doing this, you can't just run every time-"_

" _I'm not running Amelia; I'm doing what's best for me and the 3 kids I'm now responsible for." Addison doesn't have the energy to fight against this latest tragedy that's befallen the practice. If she's honest with herself, she doesn't want to fight it. Today is her last day at the practice; she's supposed to be boxing up her things but Amelia, as much as Addison loves her, doesn't quite know how to leave well enough alone._

" _You are running Addison, you could've fought this!" Addison pinches the bridge of her nose, doing her best not to scream at the young Neurosurgeon standing in front of her._

" _Amelia, please…"_

" _How can you just up and leave like this?! If Jake were here you'd-"_

" _Don't. Don't you_ _ **dare**_ _bring up Jake to me,_ _ **don't you dare**_ _. My life has been hell for the last 4 months. My husband died, okay? My husband died, and my daughter died, leaving me to raise her two children, my practice got shut down by the board of health because some idiot person felt like their kid didn't need to be properly immunized and exposed our entire staff and our patients to a very dangerous disease. I don't have any fight left Amelia do you get that? I don't wanna fight anymore, I just want some peace! So I'm sorry if I can't be perfect Addison and save the day. I can't save anything because if I could Jake and Angela would still be alive! So don't tell me what I would've done if Jake were here because he's dead and…Jake is dead. He's dead and he's never coming back and I'd rather not think about that because it'll just drive me crazy and I can't afford to drink and cry my sorrows away because I have 3 kids under the age of 5 who need me," She's breathing hard and doing her best not to cry by the time she's done._

" _Addie I-"_

" _Get out, Amelia."_

" _Addison-"_

" _I said get out! You came in here to lecture me about leaving and moving to Seattle, you didn't come in here to ask how I was. You haven't asked that since the day we buried Jake so get out!" She doesn't miss the look of hurt in Amelia's eyes but she doesn't care. Once she's gone, Addison lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding and continues to try and pack up her office._

 _She looks up again when she hears a knock at her door; it's Charlotte._

" _If you're coming in here to try and make me apologize to Amelia-"_

" _I'm not; I came to see how you were doing," Charlotte completely ignores the look on Addison's face as she moves to sit on her couch._

" _I know you don't think I'm really here to see how ya are, but I am. So you're going back to Seattle, huh?"_

" _I didn't have a choice,"_

" _Course ya did, ya just took the easy way out."_

" _I thought you said you weren't here on Amelia's behalf?"_

" _I'm not; I understand why you're leaving Addison. You know, when Lee McHenry raped me, I couldn't go back to my office for weeks. I had panic attacks just thinking about it, but eventually, I was able to go in there. I know it's not the same but, I know what it's like to be surrounded by painful memories. Jake might've been your husband, but he was our family, and we loved him too. I don't blame ya for leaving; if I ever lost Coop, I'd probably never be able to work here or look at any of you ever again. But even though you're leaving, doesn't mean ya can't come back and visit. Like it or not, we're family Montgomery, and family always looks out for each other no matter what. I think Jake would turn over in his grave if we didn't at least try and convince you to stay," Charlotte says nothing more, she simply stands up and leaves Addison alone with her thoughts._

Seattle, Present:

She's been back in Seattle for just over a month now and she desperately wishes that she'd bought a house instead of letting Callie and Mark talk her into moving into their apartment complex. A house would've been so much better, especially right now as she has to haul 3 sleepy children, plus Henry and Raphael's backpacks, Isabella's diaper bag, her purse and briefcase as well as their groceries out of her car, into the building and into her apartment. She'd never been more thankful to see Mark Sloan the moment she reached the elevator doors.

"A house would've been great y'know," Mark doesn't say much, he simply stoops down to grab some bags and one of the boys.

The elevator ride up to their apartment floor is silent aside from Isabella's sleepy whining. Mark is kind enough to open her door for her as she deposits the groceries onto the floor and does her best to get all 3 kids settled and into bed. By the time she comes back into her kitchen, Mark has put away all of her groceries and has poured her a glass of wine.

"A house still would've been a good idea," she mutters as she gratefully takes the wine glass.

"A house for you would've been hell," Mark tells her as she rolls her eyes.

"I had a house in LA,"

"You were also a different person in LA…why don't you hire a nanny Addison?"

"No," they've been over this a million times before but Mark is still insistent that she should hire a nanny.

"There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need help Red, because before you swear up and down that you don't, ya do. I mean, look at how you struggled to get those kids and your groceries up to your apartment."

"That's because a house-"

"You wouldn't have bought just a house; you would've bought a castle or a mansion. I know you Addison, plus that house would've had to have met Forbes Montgomery standards, which meant it would've been farther away from the hospital which would've made you late for work and the kids would've been late for school and your whole day would've been ruined,"

Damn him for knowing her so well.

"I just…we've talked about this Mark; maybe in a few months I'll think about it but right now, I can't keep changing things for them. I mean, Isabella and Raph are essentially orphans and Henry lost his dad. They've been through enough changes for right now,"

"You mean you've been through enough,"

"Don't Mark, talking about Jake is off limits and you know that," Mark holds up his hands in defense.

"If you keep going like this, you're gonna have a nervous breakdown." Addison rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Mark, I'm fine."

"If I were anybody else that answer would be acceptable. But I know you, Addison, you're not fine."

"Mark…" Addison runs a hand through her hair and sighs heavily before taking a sip of her wine.

"Hey, I've been in your shoes before, keep that in mind. Torres and I both have been there, which is why we've been more than willing to help out when you need it. But you need to think ahead Addie. You need help with them, and somebody to talk to would be good for you." Mark stands up, presses a kiss to her cheek before he leaves.

Once he's gone, Addison moves over to the couch. She reaches over to the side and grabs she and Jake's wedding photo. She stares at it fondly for a few moments before her heart begins to ache in that she way she can't afford for it to ache. She quickly places it back on the end table before curling her feet underneath her. She takes slow sips of her wine as she thinks about what Mark said. It is a struggle right now, trying to keep it together, but she just can't bring in someone else to help her.

Bringing in someone else to help her means that she'll finally have to accept the fact that Jake is dead, and she's not ready to deal with that just yet.

 _Chapter 12 to follow…_

* * *

 **Yeah, I know, a short, lackluster chapter but it'll make sense as the flashbacks come. I do hope you all enjoyed and please keep reading, reviews mean a lot to me.**

 **Be on the lookout for chapter 12 soon!**

 **Xx**


	12. Chapter 12

Los Angeles, Present

"It's two weeks before my wedding and Addison still hasn't responded to my invitation" Amelia Shepherd is sitting in Charlotte's office venting about Addison's lack of RSVP and 'save the date' in regards to her wedding. She's also quite miffed that Addison, who is supposed to be her matron of honor, totally missed her bachelorette party last weekend.

"You've gotta give her time Amelia; she lost her husband and she's trying to adjust to being a widow, a single mom to not only Henry but to Angela's two kids as well," Charlotte has surprisingly stepped up and made an investment in the practice. They're still closed until the Health Department finishes their investigation, but they've decided to stick together as a family, just like they did before when the medical board threatened to shut them down because of Violet's book.

"Charlotte-"

"Ya need to not be so selfish," Amelia rolls her eyes; Charlotte is blunt and brutally honest and it makes her yearn for Addison's more subtle approach to being blunt.

"I'm not-"

"She lost her husband Amelia," Amelia looks down at her hands; she doesn't like to think about Jake because it's still painful for her.

"Yeah, I know," Amelia swallows heavily when she thinks about how Jake was the person she turned to when she was on drugs, and when she discovered she was pregnant with Colin.

Los Angeles, Four-and-a-Half Years Ago

 _Jake is sitting in his office doing paperwork when there's a light knock at his door. He looks up and smiles when he sees Amelia standing there. She looks apprehensive; she's only been back at work for a few weeks. He gives her a warm smile before motioning for her to come in._

" _How've you been?" He tries to make things not so awkward for her because he knows everyone else, save Charlotte and Addison are handling her with kid gloves. Well, Addison isn't bringing up her stint in rehab or the horrible things she said while she was on her binge, but she's hovering. Jake watches the look that comes across Amelia's face before she promptly breaks down in the middle of his office. He's up in two seconds, pulling the blinds closed before kneeling on the floor beside her._

" _Hey, whatever it is-"_

" _I'm pregnant," Amelia manages through her sobs._

 _Oh. Well, that's…_

" _Are you worried about-"_

" _Jake, I'm almost 5 months pregnant," The way she says it cuts through his soul._

" _So-"_

" _What if my baby-"_

" _Hey, I've seen kids be born and they're perfectly normal," Jake soothes as Amelia pulls back to look at him like he's grown a third head._

" _You did oxy, but there are far worse drugs you could've done. Have you talked to-"_

" _No, I haven't talked to Addison, I can't talk to her, not when she's trying so hard to have a baby of her own and that's going horribly."_

" _I understand; if you want I can-"_

" _Please?" Amelia's eyes are full of sorrow and desperation as she pleads with him._

" _Okay, okay," Jake wraps an arm around her, planting a loving kiss on top of her head._

" _And Jake?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Whatever you do, don't tell Addison," Jake looks down at Amelia and smiles, giving her another supportive squeeze._

" _I may like your sister-in-law, but I don't like her enough to jeopardize doctor-patient confidentiality,"_

Seattle:

"How long are you gonna look at that invitation?" Derek asks his ex-wife as he catches her staring at his sister's wedding invitation during a board meeting.

Addison looks up at him and the look in her eyes is completely haunting; she looks as if she's floating through life, barely existing.

"She's called me, twice, left me eight text messages, 4 emails, and a voicemail. Derek, I don't know if I can…" He notices the hitch in her voice and reaches over to rub her back. He knows how embarrassed she'd be if she had a panic attack in the middle of the conference room. He notices Meredith stare at him questioningly before mouthing 'panic attack'. Meredith nods before turning her attention back towards Cristina.

"Did you just tell Meredith that I'm losing my mind?" Addison mutters, taking slow deep breaths.

"You're not going crazy; you've just had a rough couple of months, that's all."

"If you call having your entire world fall apart in the span of 6 months a rough couple of months, then…"

"Hey, I got shot, lost a child, adopted a child, got into a plane crash and had another kid in the span of about 2 years. I get going through a shitty time," Derek says with a shrug; Addison can't help the watery laugh she lets out in response.

"It's good to hear you laugh,"

"Thanks; now if I could manage to not have a panic attack when I think about going back to LA, that'd be great."

"You may never be ready to go back to LA; look at Mark, he vowed to never get on a plane again,"

"He still hasn't," Addison points out.

"Okay, so Mark was a terrible example but look at Cristina Yang," Addison glances over at Cristina, who is thriving quite well despite her PTSD from the shooting and the plane crash.

"Just take it one day at a time Addie, maybe start by calling Amelia. I can only imagine that she's freaking out right now," Addison smiles at him, giving his hand a squeeze just as Bailey walks into the board room.

Bailey becoming chief came as no surprise to anybody. Richard had been grooming her for it for years, long before Derek, Mark and Addison moved to Seattle. It took a while but, Miranda Bailey is perhaps the most qualified person to be Chief of Surgery. Bailey is all smiles as she addresses everyone; before getting them on task in terms of their meeting.

"Before we start our meeting, let's congratulate our chief on her Harper Avery award," Mark is sitting at the end of the table as everyone erupts into a round of applause. Bailey is well deserving of her upcoming Harper Avery and the work she's done with Richard Webber and Ellis Grey's clinical trial on diabetes.

"Mark's right, nobody's more deserving of that award than you Bailey," Richard is sitting next to Catherine Avery wearing the look of a proud father as Bailey blushes, trying to get everyone to calm down.

"Now that we're not fawning over my Harper Avery win, let's get down to business. As you all know, the hospital has been under reconstruction for the last few months thanks to that pesky storm that came through here and destroyed a section of the PEDS and the NICU. Construction is almost done; I know Dr. Montgomery will be thrilled now that she no longer has to share a surgical floor with Shepherd and Sloan," Bailey tries to joke every now and then to get a smile out of Addison; today, it works.

"I see enough of Mark and Derek outside of this hospital, so it'll be good to be back on my own floor,"

"You should be back up to operating capacity by the end of the week…" Addison is trying to listen to everything else that's going on in their meeting, but her phone is buzzing. It's Amelia calling…again. She sighs heavily before excusing herself to answer the call. She lets the phone ring a few seconds longer before taking a deep breath and pressing the green button.

" _Well it's about damn time you answered my calls_ ," Amelia sounds relieved but more so pissed off.

"Amelia, please…" Addison has to remind herself to breathe as her mind floats back to Los Angeles and everything that she lost.

Los Angeles-6 Months Ago

 _She's been walking through a fog bank since the moment she picked up her cell phone. She's not sure whether she's coming or going. All she knows is that everything is numb and she feels like she can't breathe. She reminds herself to breathe but she can't, her lungs feel tight like they're about to explode. Her heart is racing, her head is dizzy; why can't she breathe. She looks down at her hands and notices that they're shaking. Why are her hands shaking? Why can't she breathe? She blinks when she hears what sounds like a voice calling her name._

 _Addison._

 _Addison._

" _Addison! Addison, you're having a panic attack and you need to breathe, okay?" She looks around and sees Naomi kneeling in front of her._

 _Where is she? What's going on and why is Naomi kneeling in front of her? Is she on the ground? How'd she get there? Naomi's hands are on her cheeks, forcing her to look into her eyes; they're brown, just like Jake's are…were._

 _Jake is dead she reminds herself._

" _Addison, breathe; think about Henry," She tries to shake herself out of the haze that's surrounding her._

 _Focus, try and remember where you are, she tells herself. She's at the park, the practice is hosting their annual event. Jake is…she'd tried calling him earlier but, that's when she got the news about his accident. She pushes herself away from Naomi and throws up, tiny chunks of whatever she was eating just before she tried to call Jake. God, even the thought of him makes her chest ache. Naomi is leaning over with her, pulling her hair back as she pukes and pukes. She still can't remember how she ended up on the damn ground. From the corner of her eye, she sees Amelia rushing towards her; James is off to the side with Sam as they talk to Henry. Amelia is pressing something into her hands; it's cold, water she assumes. She closes her eyes and swallows some of the water before spitting it out. She takes another sip once she's rid her mouth of the bile taste. When she opens her eyes again, things seem a bit clearer._

" _How did I-"_

" _You were walking out of the tent with Henry when you just…went down; you scared him half to death," Amelia juts her chin over to where Henry is sitting on James' lap._

" _I didn't mean to scare him but, the thought of going home and…why did this happen?" Naomi wraps an arm around Addison; she's never been in this position before but, she tries to help as best she can._

" _I don't know sweetie, but I promise you, you're gonna get through this…"_

oOoOo

"Addison? Addison, can you hear me?"

"I'm not coming, Amelia," Addison shakes herself from the horrible memories of Los Angeles as she makes her decision.

"What!? You're my maid of honor! You're my sister, you're my family; you're supposed to be here!" She knows Amelia is upset, and most likely crying on the other end of the phone but, she's just not ready to go back there yet.

"I'm sorry Amelia but-"

"No, you don't get to 'I'm sorry' me! I need you here Addison, my mother isn't coming, my sisters aren't coming, Jake is dead, and-"

"That's exactly why I can't come. Amelia, I'm sorry but, I just…I'm not ready to go back there. It hurts too much thinking about…Amy I love you but-"

"You're not the only one who lost Jake Addison. Everybody here at the practice, the one you abandoned because you couldn't deal, we lost Jake too. Our grief counts just as much as yours; you didn't stop to think about how Jake's death would affect anyone but you. You didn't think about Henry or-"

"Don't you dare say that to me, Amelia, don't you dare! My son was miserable! He wasn't eating, he wasn't sleeping, he had nightmares and wet the bed…"

"Because that's what children do when they experience a loss like that. All you had to do was let him talk to Violet, but instead, you drug him off to Seattle, away from his family, his friends"

"I am Henry's family, do you understand that I am. I am his mother and I did what was best for my son and my family. Henry hasn't had a nightmare, he hasn't wet the bed, he's doing great in school. He needed this change Amelia and if you can't see that-"

"No, you needed that change Addison, not Henry. He could've thrived in LA just like he's thriving in Seattle. You left because you couldn't handle the fact that Jake's dead,"

"Stop it, Amelia," Addison pinches the bridge of her nose and tries to remember those stupid breathing exercises that Derek told her about.

"No, I'm going to say it: Jake is dead, he's dead and he's never coming back and instead of facing it, you ran away like the coward you are,"

And that's it that does it; Addison Forbes Montgomery may be a lot of things, but a coward isn't one of them.

"Fuck you Amelia; you couldn't deal with your friend dying so you relapsed on drugs and I'm the coward? I lost my husband and I left LA because I couldn't bear the sight of being there and knowing that I would never see him again. I didn't just lose a husband, I lost my child too, I lost Angela and I'm left every day with these two tiny reminders of the daughter I lost. I lost half of my family and you're calling me a coward for dealing with it the only way I know how? No, fuck you Amelia, and don't you ever call me again!" Addison is seething and shaking with anger that she barely recognizes the person whose hands are prying her cell phone away from her.

"Addison, just breathe," She blinks and its Bailey standing in front of her, hands on her shoulders as she forces Addison to mimic her breathing; Mark has her cell phone while Derek and Callie stand off to the side in concern.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Addison, I understand; I haven't lost a husband but I do get losing someone you love," Bailey's voice is gentle when she speaks but she knows that there's something else there.

"You want me to take some time off, don't you?" Bailey gives her an easy smile but nods in agreement.

"I gave you the job because you're an incredible doctor, but I let you start working too soon. Take a leave of absence, if it's only for two weeks. Spend some time focusing on yourself, on Henry, on Raphael and Isabella. Your job will still be here if you want it."

"No, Miranda I want my job I just…when am I gonna stop feeling like this?" Addison is angrily wiping away stray tears.

"You probably won't; you're always gonna feel sad. It's been years since George and I divorced and he died but, it still hurts," Callie moves beside her, rubbing her back in a soothing manner.

"Alex Karev can handle your department while you're gone; plus, there are other attendings to help him out in case he gets overwhelmed," Bailey tells her.

"You wanna leave Alex in charge of PEDS and NICU?"

"Addison, you trained Alex, he's more than capable of handling it. You just focus on you and those beautiful babies of yours, okay?" Bailey is pulling her into a hug before forcing Callie to 'take her to a damn spa' and charging Mark and Derek with making sure she didn't show up at work for at least two weeks.

"You heard the chief, to the spa we go!" Callie is grinning at her as Addison shakes her head.

"Somehow I feel like you're going to enjoy this spa trip more than me," Addison laughs.

"Damn right I am; I've been so tense lately…"

Mark and Derek watch with a smile as the girls head towards the elevators. Once he's sure they're gone, Derek turns to Mark with a grave look on his face.

"I know, I heard it too," Mark shakes his head and sighs.

"We have to figure out a way to get Addison to LA for Amelia's wedding," Mark rolls his eyes and lets out a snort.

"You were married to her for 11 years, have you forgotten what a stubborn bitch Addison can be at times?"

"Mark, this is Amelia we're talking about here,"

"Amy's not exactly thinking about Addie right now,"

"She's just excited about her wedding and she's hurt that Addison isn't coming,"

"I can't say that I blame her; I didn't wanna go anywhere near a wedding after I lost Lexie,"

"You think that's what this is about? Addie can't stand the thought of seeing someone else get married?" Mark gives his best friend a blank stare.

"To be a neurosurgeon, you really are dumb; of course that's what this is about. Think about it, if you'd lost Meredith six months ago, would you really want to go and watch two people declare their undying love to each other?"

"You went to Addison's wedding to Jake," Derek reminds him.

"I went so that you'd get off my ass about it and…okay, I see your point. But think about how much work it was just to get me to go,"

"Looks like we've got our work cut out for us, don't we?" Mark rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"I knew you were gonna rope me into this,"

"Amelia's our sister and Addison is family,"

"Alright fine, but you should call Amelia first; she probably needs to be consoled after the way Addison just read her the riot act,"

"Already ahead of you buddy," Derek whips out his phone and within seconds Amelia's tear stained face is staring back at them.

"How much does she hate me?" Amelia is sniffling; Charlotte King gives them a wave in the background.

"A lot," Derek and Mark say in unison.

"Derek I have to have her here, I have to!"

"Then you've got a lot of groveling to do," Mark tells her as Derek gives him a shove.

"What? She does! Addison's been through a lot; think about how you felt when you found out Colin's diagnosis. You refused to see Addison for most of your pregnancy…"

Los Angeles-Four-and-a-Half Years Ago…

 _Henry is almost 3 months old and Addison is over the moon. Never in her life did she think it was possible for her heart to be bursting over with love. Briefly, her mind slips back to something Bizzy had told her years ago._

 _I'm sorry, but until you become a mother, there are some things you just will never understand._

 _As she holds Henry in her arms, she silently thanks Bizzy because the old bat was right; she totally gets it now. She would willingly walk through hell, cut off all of her limbs, sell her soul to the devil, anything to make sure her son was safe, and happy, and loved. She bows her head to press a kiss into Henry's hair. It's 3 a.m. and he's having a hard time getting back to sleep after his bottle. She pushes the sliding glass door open and steps out into the cool breeze. She's swaying Henry from side to side, hoping that he'll fall asleep soon when she hears Sam's door open. It's Amelia; her heart aches for her sister-in-law; she's just over 7 months pregnant and her baby has been diagnosed with down syndrome, but Jake is looking for other problems to occur following the birth. Amelia has been avoiding her since she told her she was pregnant and it's killing her. She wants to be there for Amelia, but she won't let her, that's what hurts the most. She can help her, can guide her through whatever medical problems her child will face. Still, Amelia does not want her help; she doesn't even wanna see her._

 _Their eyes lock for the briefest of moments before Amelia is turning away from her._

" _Amelia, please tell me what I did wrong!" She's trying to keep her voice down because it's 3 a.m. and people are trying to sleep but she has to know why Amelia keeps avoiding her._

" _You don't get it, do you? You tried so hard to have a baby, but your uterus is literally like tumbleweed, but then you try adopting and that doesn't work and then you try surrogacy and that doesn't work. Just when you've given up you get a kid literally dropped in your lap and he's healthy and perfect and beautiful. I was on drugs and got pregnant and my kid has Down Syndrome and a laundry list of other problems. So no, Addison, I don't wanna see you or your beautiful, perfect kid because I hate you right now. You got the perfect kid while I got…I don't wanna see you, Addison. I can't, not right now," Both Amelia and Addison are in tears by the time she's done. Addison doesn't say anything, she simply cradles Henry closer to her and walks back inside._

 _She'll wait until Amelia's ready to see her if that's what it takes._

oOoOo

"Mark's right, I've been such a jerk to her but…she left! She just, she didn't even think about the rest of us! She just packed up her kids and moved to Seattle!"

"Amy, she lost her husband and her daughter, she wasn't exactly in any kind of shape to think about anyone else besides herself and her kids," Amelia sighs heavily, running a hand through her hair.

"You're right; I'm just so…used to Addie being resilient and this time…"

"She's human, Amy; she's allowed bad days too," Derek gently reminds her.

"I know, I know but, she wasn't even this bad when Bizzy died,"

"We talked about this before, Addison loved Bizzy but Jake was different,"

"Yeah, she didn't have kids with Jake," Mark points out.

"Do you think I can do anything to convince her to come? Because I can't get married without her here, Derek"

"LA's a painful reminder of what she lost, you have to be respectful of that,"

"After what I said to her…I was so mean,"

"Give her some time, Amy,"

"Derek's right plus, Bailey just made her take two weeks off after she heard the way she yelled at you,"

"Bailey heard that?"

"We all did; she's not in a good place right now,"

"Then why the hell did Bailey hire her?" Derek sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Bailey knows that Addison is the best and that having her here in Seattle would bring in major revenue for the hospital. She also knows that Addison needed to get away from Los Angeles,"

"Nobody was expecting her to show up and start working," Mark says.

"…How could you not?! It's Addison for crying out loud!"

"Well, she's got a point there Mark,"

"It doesn't matter; Addie's on a mandatory two-week vacation and that's more than enough time for you two to get it right,"

"You think she'll ever move back to LA?"

"You could always move here," Mark suggests.

"Whoa; I can't have my best friend, my ex-wife, and my sister working at the same place. Pretty soon, everyone else will want to come to Seattle," Amelia laughs.

"Don't worry Derek, I wouldn't dare think of invading your precious Seattle, but you've gotta at least share Addie with me,"

"I will, just, give her some time Amy,"

"I will," With that, Amelia ends her phone call, leaving Derek and Mark alone with their thoughts.

"You really think you can convince Addie to go to LA?"

"I got you in a car to LA for Addison's wedding, didn't I?" Mark rolls his eyes.

"Ya still haven't gotten me on a plane,"

"Don't worry, I'm working on that; baby steps Mark, baby steps," Derek grins.

"…Shut up,"

Chapter 13 to follow…

* * *

 **Whew! That was a long chapter if I do say so myself. Did you all enjoy the flashbacks? I hope so because this story is gonna be flashback heavy. Like I said a few chapters back, we probably won't learn exactly what happened to Jake and Angela until maybe the very end. Someone asked in a review if we'd see Archer and, I can't say just yet. If I see where it makes sense for him to appear, then I will. If not, he'll be mentioned and there will be an explanation for his absence. I know there are people who would like to see more of Meredith and Derek and Izzie and Alex and I promise I will throw them in at some point; I'm just trying to work out how to make their story fit. This story is being told from multiple POVs, so bear with me as I work out a few things. Be on the lookout for the next chapter real soon okay?**

 **Take Care,**

 **Xx**


	13. Chapter 13

Seattle, October 31, 2016

"Kailey, please remember to hold your brother's hand," Izzie Stevens reminds her daughter as they walk down the street.

The weather is significantly cool tonight as she enjoys a semblance of normalcy. She and Alex haven't exactly worked things out but, they're trying; he's still angry with her and she doesn't blame him, not after what she did. Tonight, though, they're putting their differences aside for the sake of their children. Alex has agreed to a night of Trick-Or-Treating, just the four of them. Kailey and Nicholas are notably excited, Nicholas more than Kailey. Nicholas has always been the type of child who would need some male guidance. Kailey has been more than content just having her mother in her life, but Izzie knew that the time would come when Kailey would begin to ask questions about who her father was.

Tacoma, Washington-4 Months Ago

 _Isobel Stevens was living a perfectly normal life, she had her children and her career; what else could she possibly need? If she were being honest with herself, she was missing something: her husband, Alex Karev. Correction, her ex-husband, seeing as Alex had divorced her more than 6 years ago. She didn't talk to anyone from Seattle, except Addison, but Addison doesn't count because she isn't from Seattle. But yes, Addison Montgomery was the only person Izzie really talked to. Here in Tacoma, nobody knew about her life before; no one knew that she was once Bethany Whisper, no one knew that she was from a trailer park in Chehalis, Washington. Even fewer people knew that she'd had a baby at 16. Nobody knew about Denny or the 8 million dollar check he'd written her. No one knew that she'd been fired from Seattle Grace or that she'd quit after cutting Denny's LVAD wire._

 _All people knew about her was that she was Dr. Isobel Stevens, she'd transferred in from Seattle Grace Hospital after the merger with Mercy West, she was a cancer survivor and to celebrate her being cancer free, she decided to do IVF which resulted in her beautiful children Nicholas and Kailey. That was all people needed to know aside from the fact that she was a great pediatric surgeon with a subspecialty in oncology. Nobody asked to know more, so Izzie didn't volunteer anything else. She came to work, did her job exceptionally well, went home to her kids, got up the next morning and did it all over again. Her workload has been pretty light as of lately, which is a good thing because as much as she loves her job, Izzie loves being a mom even more. She's been getting off every afternoon around 3, just in time to pick up her munchkins up from school. Today, though, as she's waiting in the carpool line, Kailey's teacher is escorting her to the car, a note in hand._

" _Dr. Stevens, this is for you; it's important that you read it. We'll need to schedule a meeting to discuss the note," With that, Kailey's teacher says nothing more and walks back into the building. Izzie glances at her daughter through her rear view mirror and her heart aches at the look in her little girl's eyes. Izzie sighs but says nothing as she pulls the letter out of the envelope and begins to read,_

 _ **Dr. Stevens,**_

 _ **Today we were discussing families in class; there was an incident between Kailey and another student, Hallie Prescott. As you know, Kailey and Hallie don't exactly get along. Today, however, their little feud rose to a whole new level. When asked about her father, Kailey responded that she didn't have a father and that she and her brother were born through IVF. As a result, Hallie and a few other students began mocking her. Kailey then got out of her seat and punched Hallie in the nose. She didn't break it but, Hallie's parents are very concerned and are pushing for Kailey's expulsion. It's important that you meet with me to discuss the manner; Kailey's future at this school depends on it.**_

 _ **Mrs. Greenwood**_

 _Izzie glances back at her daughter through the rearview mirror once more and sighs. Kailey may look like her, but she's most definitely got Alex's surly personality. Because only Alex Karev's kid would punch another kid in the face._

" _Did you have to punch her, Kails?"_

" _If I knew who my daddy was, this wouldn't be happening," Kailey rolled her eyes at Izzie before folding her arms across her chest._

 _Oh yeah, this was definitely Alex's kid. Nicholas was the exact opposite; he looked like Alex but inherited Izzie's bubbly optimistic personality. Nicholas climbed into the back seat and immediately began to tell his mother about his twin sister's mishap._

" _How do you know what happened? You two aren't even in the same class,"_

" _The whole school knows about it!" Nicholas quipped, giving his sister a high five when he thought his mother wasn't looking._

" _I saw that Nick,"_

" _What? Hallie deserved it; she's a douche," Izzie's eyes widened in shock._

" _Nicholas Alexander Stevens!"_

" _He's not lying mom,"_

" _Kailey!"_

" _What? She's a jerk, alright? She totally deserved to be punched in the face!"_

" _You could get kicked out of school Kailey!"_

" _So! I don't wanna be here! We don't fit in! We don't have a daddy and-"_

" _You do have a dad Kailey; his name is Alex Karev and he's in Seattle,"_

oOo

"He's here, he's here!" Nicholas' excited cry is what snaps Izzie from her thoughts.

She looks up when she spots Alex walking towards them and…just what she didn't want; Jo is with him. It's not that Izzie doesn't like Jo; she thinks Jo is a rather fine doctor. It's just that…this was supposed to be family time and Jo isn't exactly family. She notices the look of trepidation in the young woman's eyes and gives her a kind smile.

"Hey Alex, Jo…you're supposed to be in a costume," Izzie says, looking at Alex.

"I can't stay; I've gotta get back to work; Montgomery lost it today and Bailey forced her to go on a mandatory 2-week leave of absence,"

"What do you mean Addison lost it ?"

"Amelia called, begging Addison to come to her wedding, Addison said no, little Shepherd lost her shit and Addison let her have it. Bailey shouldn't have hired her in the first place." Izzie can tell that Alex's comment is also aimed at her as well.

She knows that he's more than pissed at the fact that Bailey asked her to stay in Seattle. It made sense; trying to work out how the twins would navigate between staying in Seattle and Tacoma. Alex however, was less than pleased at Bailey's suggestion.

"Bailey understood why Addison came back to Seattle; being in LA was too painful for her,"

"You seem to be awfully chummy with Montgomery lately," Alex points out; he doesn't get a chance to question Izzie about just how close she and Addison are because Nicholas is pulling him away to show him all of the cool gadgets of his costume.

Lucky for Izzie, lest she be the one to explain to Alex that Addison is the very reason their children exist.

Los Angeles, 2011

" _Izzie Stevens, I'm surprised to see you here; last I heard you got fired and decided to take a job in Tacoma," Addison is sitting behind her desk, as she keeps her eyes on her former intern._

" _I did, but I came here because I heard you were the best at what you do," Izzie is doing her best not to be intimidated by Addison. She knows that Alex had become a favorite of hers over the years. Not to mention the fact that Alex is close to Meredith and Meredith is 'post it' married to Derek and Derek is Addison's ex-husband._

 _Oh what a tangled web we weave._

" _Look, I know that you picked sides in me and Alex's divorce but-"_

" _Stevens, I did not…I didn't pick anyone's side. Do I like Alex? Yes, but there was no picking of sides from me. Besides, I don't live in Seattle so…"_

" _Right," Izzie rings her hands nervously as Addison waits for her to tell her what she already knows._

" _How long do you have to wait before you can get pregnant after your cancer's gone into remission?"_

 _Addison is honestly taken back by this question; she'd thought that Izzie was going to ask her if she could work at the practice. She'd always thought Stevens would make an excellent neonatal or PEDS surgeon. This, however, was completely unexpected._

" _Well, I specialize in women who are already pregnant, but my colleague Naomi Bennet is a fertility specialist. I'm assuming you already have eggs?"_

" _Alex and I had embryos frozen when I first got diagnosed,"_

" _Don't you think Alex should-"_

" _Alex said he didn't care what I did with the embryos," Izzie folds her hands over her chest, trying very hard not to think about the last conversation she and Alex had had before she moved._

" _Well then…I can have our receptionist schedule you an appointment with Naomi and I'll work alongside her to make sure that everything goes smoothly._

Los Angeles-September 2012

 _Addison and Izzie have become somewhat of friends over the two-year process its taken Izzie to get to this moment._

 _Her babies are being born today._

" _Hey, your babies are gonna be fine," Addison places a gentle hand on Izzie's shoulder as she looks up at her._

" _I…maybe I should call Alex? Maybe he does deserve to know about them..." Addison glances back at Jake who quickly steps forward, giving Izzie a reassuring smile._

" _Izzie, everything is gonna be fine; I'll be in there, so will Addison and Naomi. She's the best there is, you know this, and you've worked with her before," Izzie looks back at Addison with a tearful smile and asks,_

" _Why aren't you married to him yet?"_

" _That is a highly appropriate question, especially when I'm about to deliver your babies,"_

" _You love Jake, and he loves you; stop being so stubborn, otherwise you'll end up being a single mom like me," Izzie chokes out as Addison gives her hand a reassuring squeeze._

" _Hey, let's not think about that right now; all you need to focus on is the fact that in a few hours, you'll be holding your beautiful babies," Izzie looks up at Addison and nods._

" _O-okay, I can do that,"_

Present:

"The twins are really beautiful, and Alex is really good with them," Izzie takes a deep breath and tries very hard not to hate this woman. She and Alex are divorced, he's free to date and sleep with whoever he wants to. And really, Jo seems like a nice girl but…Izzie just can't seem to like her.

"I always thought Alex would be a good dad," She keeps her eyes on Alex, Kailey, and Nicholas. They all look so happy while she and Jo trail a few feet behind them, awkwardly trying to make conversation.

"I don't hate you, you know," Jo glances over at Izzie with a look of curiosity on her face.

"I mean, I know how this must look to you and everyone else; the ex-wife who had cancer suddenly shows up after years of being gone and says 'oh look, you've got two kids'. Trust me, I had no intentions of telling Alex we had kids,"

"Can I ask why then?"

"It was because of Kailey; I thought we were fine, just the three of us but…turns out my five-year-olds are smarter than I give them credit for. Plus, Alex said he didn't care what I did with the embryos. I didn't do this, have these kids with the intent of trying to make Alex come back to me. I did it for me, and because I already had embryos frozen, it was easier than having to go through the process of going to a sperm bank and spend ridiculous amounts of money on sperm,"

"So you only came to Seattle because Kailey-"

"Look, Jo; I think you're a sweet girl and you probably do love Alex. I'm here simply because it was time my children knew their father. You can stop trying to figure out whether or not I'm going to try and steal Alex from you. We were over that when it happened with Meredith, Derek, and Addison. Alex and I are Kailey and Nicholas' parents, nothing more, nothing less," Izzie glances over at the young woman, who seems to be somewhat relieved at her response.

And she means those words too; she and Alex are just parents to two beautiful kids. They've divorced and Alex has moved on with Jo. He seems like he's really happy with her, and that's all Izzie wants for him.

So how come when she looks at him with their children, she immediately has regrets about not fighting harder for their relationship?

 _Chapter 14 to follow…_

* * *

 **Hey everyone!**

 **I'm sorry for the long wait; school's been pretty hectic as of lately. I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter of Home Again. I know some of you might be pissed off with Amelia but I promise I'm going to work it all out. This chapter is dedicated to my sweet soul sister Darley 1101, who's a huge Izzie and Alex fan. Also, to clear up an error from a previous chapter, Izzie, and Alex's twins are about 5 years old. The youngest I would place them is around 4. The way I did the math in my head is that Izzie got cancer sometime between 2006 and 2007. She went into remission around late 2008 and got fired within the same year. She went to see Addison for IVF consultation between 2009 and around 2010, and the twins were born the year after.**


	14. Chapter 14

April 29, 2016

 _The world feels numb as she sits in the back of her car. Charlotte is driving; Amelia is in the back next to her while Naomi sits up front. She's not sure where Henry is, she vaguely remembers there being talk about him spending the night with children his age. Wherever he is, she's sure he's safe; her on the other hand…she's not so sure. Her car comes to a stop outside of her house before Amelia is leading her towards the front door. Everything feels hazy; someone has her house keys because they're opening the door. Everyone goes inside but her, she stops; the house smells like Jake._

" _Addison," Amelia is standing in the threshold of the door staring at her._

" _I can't…I can't Amelia I just, he's supposed to be here," She feels the tears welling in her eyes, they're hot and they sting._

" _Addie, I know it's hard, I've been there before," Amelia knows, understands what she's going through, somewhat._

 _She lost someone very important to her too, not exactly but…Ryan almost died and Amelia really does, really did love him. So she understands, and she's trying to help, is holding her hand as she walks inside the house._

" _Addie, are you okay?" Naomi is in the kitchen with Charlotte, fixing her a glass of wine._

" _I just…I don't know if I'll ever be okay," She doesn't even sound like herself; her voice is hoarse and scratchy._

" _Right now, ya don't have to be; drink this, it'll help take the edge off," Charlotte is handing her a glass of wine…but it tastes stronger than wine. When it goes down her throat, it burns; nope, definitely not wine._

" _Whiskey; I've kept a bottle since we lost Georgia…never drank it; couldn't bring myself to. I figured you sure as hell could use it right about now," Charlotte's smile is kind, not one of those sympathetic ones she's sure that Violet or some of the other female doctors at the practice will give her later on in the week._

" _This is good," it's the first coherent sentence she's uttered in what feels like forever._

" _Good, drink as much as you'd like; tonight, you get to lose it and be a lil fucked up. Ya lost your husband and ya won't have much time for it to sink it,"_

" _She's right Addie; tonight, you get no judgements from us," Naomi has moved to stand beside Charlotte and for a few seconds, Addison honestly feels like she can believe them._

November 8, 2016

"To Hillary!" Everyone is all smiles tonight; history has just been made. For the first time in U.S. history, a woman has become president.

"I was so worried that Trump would win," Addison takes a sip of her wine; the ladies decided to have an election watch party at Bailey's place. It's a bit awkward, especially since both Izzie Stevens and Jo are there, but they seem to be getting along pretty well.

"I can't believe you thought he had a chance!" Callie laughs; she's doing better. There was a time where Addison thought she'd never see her friend smile again. Apparently, finding new love can do that for you. She hopes to find that one day; not the new love part but, happiness. She's not sure if she'll ever love anyone ever again, not the way she loved Jake.

"I'm from Connecticut and my family has been staunchly republican since the beginning of time and so when I talked to Archer I was a little bit convinced that Trump might win,"

"I'm with Torres on this one, how?" Bailey has been a lovely host this evening, providing the ladies with drinks, very good drinks at that.

"My brother knows politicians and-"

"Can we not talk about Trump please? We're supposed to be celebrating!" Teddy Altman is sipping on yet another martini. Addison's stopped counting at this point. She's almost certain that every woman here will have a nasty hangover come morning that their poor interns will have to suffer with.

"Is it okay if I ask how my service is going?" This question is directed at Izzie; she totally hates Bailey's 'you must take a two week sabbatical' but, it's turned out to be just what she needed.

"Your service is in good hands; you trained Karev and Stevens to do exactly what you do," Addison rolls her eyes at Bailey.

"You said I couldn't come in to work, you didn't say I couldn't inquire about whether or not my service is being run into the ground or not,"

"I can assure you Dr. Montgomery, Alex is doing a great job,"

"Jo, we're not at work; Addison is just fine,"

"Right; I just, Alex holds you in such high regards that and I've never heard him refer to you as anything other than Montgomery and-"

"Your service is in good hands Addison, don't worry," Izzie gives her a reassuring smile, but Addison is keen on body language and Izzie's body language is screaming that she wants Jo to stop rambling.

"Hey, have you talked to Amelia yet?" Callie's voice is quiet as she asks this question.

"Nope, there's nothing for me to say,"

"Addison, come on I know little Shepherd can be a bit much but…"

"No, Miranda; I'm not ready to go back to Los Angeles yet. I don't know if I ever will be,"

"I understand that and I respect that, but Amelia's been your sister-in-law for-"

"Amelia only cares about getting what she wants; this time, she didn't get it." Her tone isn't harsh, but its firm enough to let Bailey and Callie know that they should stop talking about Amelia's wedding.

Los Angeles

"It's three days before my wedding and she's not answering my phone calls…" Amelia is pacing back and forth in what used to be Addison's office; they can't bring themselves to put anyone in her office, Jake's either.

"You might have to start accepting the fact that Addison's not gonna show," Charlotte is leaning against the wall. The office is still purple, just like Addison left it, only now it feels pretty damn hollow.

"I can't Charlotte; everyone in my family will be here; my mom, my sister's, Derek, Mark…Addison's my family too, and she should be here."

"Her husband died and ya basically told her she was being selfish because she moved to another state. If I were Addison-"

"And I would apologize for it…if she'd answer my damn phone calls!" Charlotte sighs heavily and shakes her head. Damn, she never knew how hard it was trying to be Amelia's replacement Addison. She really hopes to God that Shepherd and Hot Stuff can pull off some sort of miracle and get Montgomery's ass in a car or on a plane to Los Angeles. She's not sure how much longer she can put up with Amelia's bitching and neuroticism. Sometimes, she feels like she ended up with six kids if she counts Amelia and Cooper.

"You were a bitch Amelia; you put your feelings before Addison's…I know you love her and I know you think she needed some tough love, but c'mon. The woman lost her husband, she got stuck raising Angela's kids because she died too. Think about how hard these last few months have been for her. Think about how bitter sweet it's been for her, seeing Isabella start to walk and talk, knowing that her mama and granddaddy will never see that. Henry started Kindergarten and Jake wasn't there. There are some types of pains you just don't get Amelia,"

7 Months Ago

 _When she wakes up again, the first face she sees is Jake's. She sits up in bed and breathes a sigh of relief._

 _It was just a dream._

" _Jake? When did you-"_

" _A few hours ago; Charlotte and Amelia said you had a little too much fun at the picnic, decided to have an after party here at the house. I took a cab," Jake is standing in the doorway of their bedroom with an easy smile on his face._

" _But, but your flight, it doesn't-"_

" _Took an early flight in; Ang and I had the worst experience ever. We decided to go white water rafting, but the water was rougher than we expected. We got a little banged up," Jake pulls up his shirt to reveal a nasty cut that starts near his armpit and goes down to his hipbone._

" _Jake-"_

" _I'm fine Addison; we're both fine,"_

" _We?"_

" _Yeah; Angela decided to come back with me. I think that trip convinced her that living in South America wasn't a good idea plus…she caught him cheating, again,"_

 _She can see Jake's mouth moving but she can't hear anything he's saying._

" _Addison? Addison, did you hear what I said?"_

 _She doesn't know how fast she's able to move her legs but, in an instant, she's in front of Jake, hugging and kissing him passionately. When she pulls back, her cheeks are wet and Jake is staring at her strangely._

" _Sweetheart, what is it?"_

" _Nothing, I just…I missed you; I was so worried that I was gonna lose you," Jake smile that easy smile of hers again before tenderly kissing her once more._

" _I'm not going anywhere sweetheart, not unless some freak accident-"_

" _Let's not talk about or think about a freak accident…as your wife and as a trained medical professional, I need to look at that scar of yours, make sure it's healing properly and whatnot," Addison bites her bottom lip; Jake totally gets the hint._

" _I thought you were an OB?"_

" _Jake, just because I'm a double board certified OB doesn't mean that I know how to do basic triage now, take that shirt off," Jake smirks at her, but wastes no time ridding himself of his shirt and kicking the door closed as they fall into a heap of half clothed bodies onto the bed._

 _It was all just a horrible dream…_

 _She's jolted awake (again) at the sound of the doorbell._

" _Jake?" Her voice is scratchy as she blindly reaches for Jake's side of the bed._

 _She stretches, pops her back before padding downstairs to answer the door…why the hell does everything seem louder than usual? And why's her head pounding? Also, why are Naomi, Amelia, and Violet passed out on her couch and living room floor? And goddammit, why the hell is her doorbell ringing at…shit, is it noon?_

" _Who the hell…Charlotte?" Sure enough, Charlotte King is standing on the other side of her door looking better than Addison feels, that's for sure. The sunlight that manages to stream inside is so bright that it makes her eyes hurt._

" _Morning, figured y'all could use some aspirin and coffee,"_

" _Aspirin and coffee? Why the hell would we need aspirin and coffee?" There's something about the way Charlotte is looking at her…_

" _Addison, what's today?"_

" _I don't know, Sunday? Why?"_

" _Do you remember what happened yesterday?"_

 _And suddenly, it hits her like a ton of bricks; the picnic, that damn phone call, the tears, having to tell Henry, her panic attack, and drinking, so much drinking. Luckily, Charlotte is there to steady her, leads her into the kitchen where she fixes her a glass of water, along with two aspirin._

" _I figured it would hit you; the day after is always the hardest," Charlotte is rambling through her refrigerator for what, Addison isn't sure._

" _I had a dream last night or, this morning; it was so real. Jake was here and so was Angela. He said that having the accident made him want to come home sooner and…it all felt so real," Addison swallows the lump in her throat; she's tired of crying already._

" _I know; I felt like that about Georgia, I still do sometimes,"_

" _How did you get-"_

" _Over it? Ya don't; it just becomes easier to deal with each day…I uh, talked to Sam. He was able to get some information about exactly what happened to Jake and Angela," Charlotte is apprehensive to tell her what she knows because if she were Addison, she's not sure she'd wanna know how her husband and kid died._

" _And? What did he find out?"_

" _It's tough; are you sure you wanna-"_

" _Charlotte, just tell me what happened to Jake and Angela!" She runs a hand through her hair. She's dealt with death before; she found Bizzy dead in her hotel room. She's had to deliver stillborn babies. She's good, she can handle it._

" _It took quite a few phone calls but, he got ahold of the corner. He said that Angela died first; fractured skull. Jake, he fought for as long as he could; he was holding on to Angela when they pulled them out of the water. He ended up dying from complications due to decompression sickness and other internal injuries,"_

 _She doesn't bother asking for more specifics; she ends up rushing to the downstairs bathroom where she ends up hurling all of the alcohol she consumed the night before._

Seattle:

"There's no way she's gonna get on a plane or in a car and go to LA,"

"I know," Derek sighs heavily before taking a swig of his beer; he and Mark are enjoying a night outside on the back deck of the newly renovated McDream house.

"Hey, at least you can say that you tried," Mark pats his best friend on the back with a sad smile.

"I was just so sure I could talk her into it,"

"I told you she was a stubborn bitch but nooo you didn't listen to me," Mark says angrily as he takes a swig of his beer.

"Amy needs her," Derek argues.

"Amy was being a spoiled little shit and you know it,"

"What the hell is your problem Mark?" Derek eyes him suspiciously.

"Nothing,"

"Did you sleep with Addison again?"

"What!? No! Why the hell would you even..."

"Mark…"

"Okay so, I didn't sleep with her but, we did have a moment the other night, but neither one of us were ready for anything to happen," Derek waits expectantly for Mark to continue.

"There's nothing to tell Derek, honest; she's still grieving Jake and I'll never really be over Lexie being dead and Addison deserves something so much better so…"

"But something happened between the two of you?"

"It did, but that's beside the point,"

"Is that why Addison's been avoiding my phone calls for the last two days?"

"No, she's been avoiding your calls because she doesn't want you to try and nag her into going,"

"Come on Mark, you don't wanna see them make up?"

"Of course I do, but Amy needs to apologize first. I get that she's your sister and that she's grown up a lot, but she's still a little selfish. She can't think that her pain comes before Addison's," Derek sighs once again.

"You're right; I should probably call Amy and tell her that Addie's not coming,"

"You should; but just because I'm not going doesn't mean I don't wanna see the wedding," Mark and Derek look up with wide eyes when they hear Addison's voice.

"Relax; I was just dropping Bailey off. I did hear your conversation though," Addison shoots Mark a look.

"Addison-"

"We'll talk about it later, Mark," She's wearing a smile when she looks at the both of them.

"So, you're not going," Addison takes a seat on the back steps beside her ex husband and former lover.

"I can't; it's still too fresh. I mean, I didn't sell my house because I love my house but, I don't think I'll ever be ready to go back there. LA was supposed to be my chance to start over, and I did. I just…never imagined that it would be my greatest source of joy and pain as well. I do wanna pictures though, and tell Amelia that I'm sorry,"

"It's okay Addie; I think she'll understand," Derek wraps his arm around his ex wife and smiles.

"No, I think she'll be pissed off about this one for a long time,"

"You think so Red?"

"I know Amelia; she's getting married and everyone's coming. Think about it Mark; this is the first time that Carolyn is going to meet her grandson. Everything will be perfect and I'm making it less perfect by not being there,"

"Addie…"

"I really do want pictures Derek, I'm serious!" She gives him a strained smile before she stands up.

"I've gotta get my munchkins home before they terrorize your wife. Tell Amelia to call me, okay? And I want pictures you two, I'm serious!" With that, Addison makes her way back inside, makes small talk with Meredith and then she's wrangling up her kids and putting them in her truck.

"…So, you gonna tell me what happened between you and Addie?"

"Shut up Derek,"

 _Chapter 15 to follow…_

 **I apologize for the long wait; my personal life has been super hectic for the last few weeks. I hope to have better updates for you guys in the New Year. I also hope to have some new fics I've been working on be published. As I said before, this story is a slow burn and will alternate between POVs as well as various time periods. This is an ensemble fic, which means we'll be checking in with varying characters, all of whom are connected by Addison and Jake. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter, and I look forward to sharing my new fics with you all come the New Year.**

 **Xx**


	15. Chapter 15

November 12, 2016

"So, she's not coming?" Derek shakes his head as he prepares for what he's sure will be a meltdown from his little sister.

"No, I'm sorry Amy but she couldn't. She did make me promise to take lots of photos and record it if I could. She also wanted me to give you this," he hands her a letter, written in Addison's scrawly but perfect penmanship.

"She said for you to open when you've got a few minutes alone," With that, he presses a kiss to her cheek before leaving the room.

"I'll be right outside the door when you're ready," Amelia nods, though she's got her eyes trained on the letter addressed to her. With shaky hands, she carefully opens the letter and begins to read,

 _Amelia,_

 _If you're getting this letter then that means it's your wedding day, and I'm so happy for you. I know how much you wanted me to be there but, you have to understand that I just…I wasn't ready. It's been just over 7 months since I lost Jake. For me, the wounds are still so fresh. Jake was the world to me and now, it's gone. You should know how that feels; you haven't been back to your mother's house since you left there. You told me it was too painful to even imagine your father not being there. It's been over 30 years since you lost your dad and it still hurts. Imagine how I feel. Plus, I didn't just lose Jake, I lost Angela too, and now I'm stuck with these two tiny reminders of her. Not only that, but I have to face Henry every single day and tell him 'no sweetie, daddy's not coming home today or ever'. That's been my life for the last 7 months. I really am sorry that I couldn't be there, but I'm just not ready._

 _I hope you understand and I do wish you and James a lifetime of happiness and love._

 _Kiss Colin for me, and tell him that his Aunty Addison misses him very much._

 _Love, Addison._

Amelia is in tears by the time she finishes reading the letter. It stings, knowing that half of her family didn't show up and that the other half is dead. She takes a deep breath to try and calm her nerves.

"You can do this Amy, you've survived without Addison before. You'll be just fine," She mutters to herself. And she's trying, God, she's really trying to hold it together but dammit, she's weak. She immediately rushes towards her purse, desperately fishing out her cell and face times the one person she needs the most.

Seattle:

It's Saturday and Addison Forbes Montgomery is officially alone with her children, something she hasn't had to do in almost seven months. It's an eerie feeling, being completely on her own with Henry, Isabella, and Raphael but, she can handle it, right?

Wrong; she's so, so wrong.

Isabella woke up cranky and with a low-grade fever because she's cutting more teeth. Henry is in another one of his moods because he's 5 and still trying to grasp the fact that daddy's gone and Raphael? Well, he's been giving Addison hell since the minute he got off of the plane from South America. She knows that Raph is having a hard time adjusting as well, which is why she's been lenient on him about bedwetting and everything else. Today, though, she doesn't wanna clean poop off of the bathroom floor. What she really wants is for everyone either not be working or not off at Amelia's wedding.

"Raphael, please; we have to put on new clothes. You can't walk around stinky all day," She's practically pleading with him to put on new clothes but he's refusing, finds the idea of being stinky quite fun. He makes a run for it when he sees a way to get past her. He's running down the hall screaming to the high heavens.

"Raphael, you're gonna wake your sister!" Addison hisses as she hurries out of the bathroom after him. Henry is in their room coloring; he's not speaking to her today.

"Raphael Alejandro Reilly!" Saying his name like that seems to get his attention because he turns around quite quick with a look of shock in his eyes.

"You are going to march yourself right into that bathroom, get into the tub put on clean clothes, do you understand me?" Addison has her hand on her hip as she stares him down…he surprises her by bursting into sobs.

She's never really seen him cry before; this is new.

He's standing there, in front of the TV console sobbing, pants full of poop as he proceeds to pee on himself. Great, just fucking great this is exactly what she needs today; to clean pee off of her $1,500 dollar rug. She carefully makes her way over to him as he carefully allows her to pick him up and carry him into the bathroom. Her pants are totally ruined as she turns on the water but it doesn't matter, because suddenly, Raph is clinging to her for dear life.

"Raphael, what's wrong?" She's trying to talk to him but he just keeps screaming, doing his best to get away from the water.

The water; oh, now she gets it. She'd vaguely heard something about him being able to see the accident from land. Seeing the rushing water must have triggered something in him. Usually, when they take a bath, the water has already been run; all he has to do is get in it.

"I'm sorry honey, I'm so sorry," She turns off the water and presses a kiss to the top of his head and holds him close for a few moments. She holds him until his crying has been reduced to nothing but soft hiccups.

"You scared me, when you yelled," Addison has to look down in surprise when he speaks.

"I did? I'm sorry sweetie,"

"Are you gonna make me go away?" Raphael pulls away from her and the look in his eyes nearly breaks her heart.

"What?"

"My friend at preschool said that you might send me away if you yell at me,"

"Oh, Raph; I'm not gonna send you away, I could never send you away. Raphael, I love you,"

"D'ya mean it, Addie?" She smiles at him, pressing another kiss to his head.

"I mean it Raphael; I love you and Isabella so much,"

"But you moved away,"

"I moved away because I was sad,"

"Sad because you miss mama and papa?" The question he asks is so simple but packed with such painful truth.

"Yes, because I missed them,"

"I miss them too," Raphael wraps his arms around her and smiles.

"You have to take a bath Raph, you can't be smelly; why don't I run the water while you go find some bath toys?" Raphael nods before scurrying down the hall to the bedroom he shares with Henry. It gives Addison a chance to regroup and to run some more bathwater; surprisingly, Isabella hasn't stirred one bit.

Just as she makes her way to check on the sleeping beauty, her phone rings. Amelia's calling; she must have read her letter. There's not that much water in the tub, Raphael is still in his room looking for toys. She can spare a few minutes to talk to Amelia.

"Amelia, you look beautiful," and she does; her hair is perfect, so is her makeup. She looks exactly like Addison dreamed she would.

"I'm glad you're talking to me again," Amelia's voice is shaky on the other end of the phone.

"I wasn't going to stay mad at you forever Amy,"

"But you should have, and you could've; I was such a bitch to you. I wasn't thinking about your pain and how you felt. I just…my mother isn't coming, my sister's aren't' coming, Jake is dead, you're not here…this isn't how I envisioned my wedding day going," Amelia's voice is wobbly as she wipes away some stray tears.

"I know it's not; I wish I was there but I just-"

"You weren't ready? I know, I get it now. I, I read your letter; Derek gave it to me," Addison rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"I figured he would; I didn't want you to read it today and-"

"No, no I needed to read it today; Addie I'm so sorry I-"

"Hey, don't worry about it; you're about to marry the man of your dreams in a few minutes," Addison gives Amelia a tearful smile, which only makes Amelia sniffle even more.

"Amy? Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"There's, there's another reason I wanted you to be here Addie,"

"Amelia…"

"Addie I think, I think I'm pregnant," there's a beautiful smile that slowly blooms on Amelia's face.

"you think you might be pregnant?" Amelia nods tearfully.

"I'm late, really, really late; I took one of those home pregnancy tests and it was positive but, I wanted to be sure,"

"So that's why you wanted me out there,"

"Yeah but, I guess I should've been better about telling you but, Addie, I'm really scared. What if-"

"Hey, don't worry about any of those things right now, okay? All I want is for you to focus on getting married today,"

"Will you, will you come to LA, once the baby's born?" It's a tough question for her to ask because she's still not sure if she'll be able to handle being back there nine months from now.

"I don't know Amelia, I just…let's just see how things go, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"You look beautiful honey; Jake would, Jake would be so proud," And god, there it is, that stupid lump in her throat she gets whenever she mentions Jake. Amelia nods as well, though she frowns for a moment.

"Is that, do you hear water running?" Addison pauses for a moment before her eyes widen.

"Oh my god, Amelia I have to go; I'll call you later, okay?" She doesn't give her time to respond before she's dropping her cell and rushing off towards the bathroom. When she opens the door, her pants are immediately flooded with water. Raphael is on top of the toilet, his eyes full of terror as the tub overflows with water. Immediately, she's rushing to turn it off and instantly grabs her child and holds him close.

"Raphael, what happened? I thought you were supposed to be going to get bath toys?" The poor child can barely speak. Though Henry's laugh from outside of the bathroom door is what gets to her.

"Henry, this wasn't funny; something bad could've happened," Henry is still laughing, doubled over in a fit of giggles.

"I told him…I told him not to turn it up so high!" It hits her: Henry is responsible for this.

"Henry Montgomery, what did you do?" Her attention is no longer on her flooded bathroom (the landlord is going to have a field day with this) but on her son who apparently decided to pull a cruel joke on his nephew.

"I didn't do anything, honest! I just told Raph that only babies are scared to take baths. He said he wasn't a baby so I dared him to fill the tub up all the way to the top,"

"Henry, why would you dare him to do that!? The water was just fine where it was, now look what's happened!" She doesn't really yell but today has been one hell of a day. Instantly, she regrets it because Henry's entire face clouds with anger before he's screaming at her and slamming the door.

Finally, Isabella wakes up.

 _Chapter 16 to follow…_

 **I pushed this update out pretty fast if I do say so myself; four days since the last update. I like this chapter, we resolved the Addison/Amelia problem and we got to see a little bit of the effects that losing Jake and Angela have had on Henry and Raphael. We won't be seeing much of Isabella being affected, seeing as she was an infant at the time of the accident. In this next chapter, we're going to be exploring more of Addison's grief via flashbacks as well as tying up some loose ends from a few chapters before with Callie, Mark, and Derek. Also, we'll be meeting some new characters soon. Some of whom were briefly mentioned on the show as well as some of the new doctors from the practice. I'm so glad you all are enjoying this fic. I hope to be on a better schedule in terms of updates in the New Year.**

 **Happy Holidays!**

 **Xx**


	16. Chapter 16

May 2016

 _The practice is closed, effective immediately._

 _It was a mutual decision made by the board of directors, aka Naomi, Sam, Amelia, Charlotte, Cooper, Violet, and Pete. They've sent out letters and emails to their patients, informing them of Jake's death, telling them that the practice would be closed until further notice, and when it did open back up, Dr. Montgomery wouldn't be seeing patients. Naomi had been the one to call Archer and The Captain to tell them what happened, which is how Addison finds her brother and father sitting in her living room right now._

" _Kitten, are you alright?" It's a stupid question really, but right now Addison is just happy that The Captain is there._

" _I need to use the jet," her voice is calm, steady, but it's a farce, mostly for Henry's sake as well as everyone else there. She's speaking WASP and The Captain knows it, so does Archer._

" _Whatever you need darling, have you called-"_

" _No, I haven't made any arrangements, not yet,"_

" _I'll call a couple funeral homes," Archer says quietly as he stands, heading towards the kitchen to make a few phone calls._

" _Actually…I need someone to get in contact with Jake's sisters; he has three of them," Archer raises an eyebrow in surprise._

" _I didn't know Jake had sisters,"_

" _Yeah, three of them; he talked to them on a pretty regular basis. He has one sister in Texas, another sister in Beverly Hills and his baby sister lives in New Jersey," The Captain places a gentle hand on her back._

" _Get their names, we'll take care of everything," Addison nods mutely as Archer stops and stares at her._

" _What about Angela? I mean, I'm sure Jake's wife has family that would want to-"_

" _Lily's family cut her off years ago; Jake hasn't heard from them since the funeral,"_

" _So, no grandparents, no…"_

" _Angela's dad is pretty much out of the picture, Jake's mother died when he was 18 and his father left when he was nine so, no, there's no one to call other than his sisters. He's got grandparents but he never talked about them much,"_

" _When's the last time he saw them?" The Captain is being gentler than usual. If she were in her right mind, she'd totally yell at him for coddling her but, she's so out of it right now. She's not even sure how she's speaking properly, at least well enough to convey all of this information._

" _They couldn't make it for the wedding but, he talked to them almost every week, kept up with how their lives were going through Skype and Facebook. They should be here; this year we…" there's a hitch in her voice, a strangled sob escapes her lips, causing Henry to jump into her arms and hold her tight. She clears her throat and focuses on running a hand through Henry's curls._

" _This year we planned on meeting in a mutual place for Christmas; Jake's wanted to see his sisters for a long time but, everyone's been so busy,"_

" _You should still do that," Amelia suggests as Addison glance at her with a small smile._

" _Jake would want you to,"_

Thanksgiving

Derek was gracious enough to let her use the McDream house for the holidays and she's grateful. She and Callie are setting everything up while Bailey and Izzie are in charge of cooking. Mark and Alex Karev are moving furniture around in the dining area because Jake's sisters all have large families.

"You okay?" Callie rubs her shoulder gently as she smiles.

"Yeah I just…this is the first holiday without Jake, not including Father's Day; God that was the worst,"

"I think it's really brave of you to invite everyone from LA as well as Jake's sisters out to Seattle for the holidays. I think he'd be proud," Addison nods, though her eyes are on Mark, who gives her a wary smile; Callie pretends not to notice.

"Do you think Jackson will be alright making sure everyone gets in safely?" It was Mark's idea to volunteer Jackson Avery to be her friends and family's personal chauffeur from the airport. Sometimes she wondered if Mark realized that Jackson was no longer his flunky resident, but an attending with a wife and child.

"Derek went with him because apparently, his family's coming too," Addison's eyes widen at the mention of Derek's family showing up in Seattle just as Callie's eyes widen.

"Please tell me you knew Derek's family was coming?" Addison shakes her head slowly before stalking over towards Mark, whacking him on the shoulder.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!?"

"Did you know?" Addison is furious, her eyes are full of fire as she glares at Mark.

"Know what?"

"That Derek's entire family was coming for Thanksgiving!"

"Oh…that," It earns him another whack, this time across the head, from Addison; Alex sniggers into his shirt.

"C'mon Addison, it won't be that bad…"

"Do you not remember the last time I had all of Derek's family over!?"

"The hot dog Thanksgiving was-"

"A disaster Mark! It was a goddamned disaster! Did everyone forget the fact that my husband's family is coming to visit, or did we all suddenly forget the fact that Derek's mother hates me, enough to where she thought I wasn't worthy enough of having her wedding ring! Let's not forget the fact that Mark and I slept together, and I haven't seen Derek's family since the affair!" Mark sighs heavily, cautious about touching Addison, especially when she's so high-strung.

"I think you're forgetting that Amelia's coming and the fact that Mrs. Shepherd hasn't met James or Collin yet," Well, he's got her there, plus, it was her idea to invite everyone from the practice to Seattle.

"Addison, don't panic; Stevens and I have more than enough food here to feed everyone that's coming," Bailey gives her a reassuring smile as Izzie walks towards her, placing her hands on her shoulders.

"Breathe Addison; I know you're thinking about how crazy everything was at the funeral, but this won't be anything like that. This is your family coming together to support you and your kids. It's your first major holiday without Jake, this is going to be hard as it is, let us be here for you,"

Houston Texas, 7 Months Ago

 _Rosalita Reilly-Sanchez is a petite woman, standing just over five feet three inches, but while she's small in stature, she makes up for it with her big personality. Rosalita is an assistant principle as well as a history teacher at North Shore Senior High. She's got quite the reputation within the school as well as within her district and the school system. She's known as a woman who fears nothing. She's on her lunch break with a few colleagues when her cell phone rings; it's a Connecticut area code. She almost doesn't answer but her gut tells her that she should._

 _"Excuse me, I'll be right back," she gives her colleagues a polite smile before stepping out into the hallway in order to answer the call before the person hangs up._

 _"Hello?" Her voice carries a heavy accent; their mother spoke lots of Spanish when they were growing up._

 _" **Hi…Rosie**?"_

 _"Yes, who is this?" Instantly she grows suspicious; there's a woman on the phone and she sounds like she's barely holding it together._

 _" **This is Addison…Jake's wife** ," Rosie frowns for a moment trying to recognize the name Addison; she breathes a sigh of relief when she hears that it's Jake's wife. She's never seen her up close or heard her voice so to say she's surprised that she called is an understatement._

 _"Oh, Addison! Hi, how are you? How's Henry?" She's heard so much about the little boy her brother adopted, has seen tons of pictures of him through Facebook._

 _" **Henry's… actually, I'm calling about Jake** ,"_

 _"Okay…"_

 _" **Rosie, there's been an accident…Jake and Angela they um, they, they died** ,"_

Beverly Hills 7 Months Ago

 _Isabel Marquez is frantic; she's in the process of opening yet another boutique on Rodeo Drive. Everyone knows that Isa can be a downright bitch when it comes to her boutiques. It's not on purpose, but she takes her work serious and can be quite neurotic about it. She's in a rush as she makes her way down the hallway of her office space. She's got a team of people scrambling behind her, shoving documents, designs, and fabric samples in her face. It's really annoying but she knows that this boutique opening has to be perfect._

" _Isa, your sister's on the phone," Melanie, her assistant informs her; Isa rolls her eyes._

" _Which sister?" Isa stops for a moment, signs off on a couple of documents, has an intern rush off to grab her another coffee as she watches her assistant cringe._

" _Rosie," Isa sighs heavily, running a hand through her hair._

" _Tell Rosie I'll call her-"_

" _She said this is important…it's about your brother," Hearing Jake's name gets her attention._

" _Everyone, give us five minutes," With that, people scatter as she motions for Melanie to follow her into her office._

 _Isa's office is nothing short of beautiful with its beautiful view of Rodeo Drive and the Hollywood Hills. She sits at her desk, relieved to feel the cushion from her chair hitting her back, knowing that this will probably be the only time she'll get a chance to sit down today. Kelly, her intern quietly places her coffee onto her desk before quickly backing out of the office._

" _Could you-"_

" _I already did; she's on line 4," Melanie quietly whispers that she has a meeting with the contractors in 45 minutes before Isabel clicks over to where her sister is waiting._

" _Rosie, I'm really busy so if we could-"_

" _ **Addison called**_ _,"_

" _Who?"_

" _ **Addison, Jake's wife**_ _," Rosie sounds stressed, which makes Isa sit up straight; aside from Jake, Rosie's the calm one._

" _Why would Addison call you?"_

" _ **Jake was in an accident in South America, he and Angela**_ _,"_

 _Isa spits out the coffee she's just swallowed as her heart beats rapidly in her chest._

" _What!? But, Jake's okay, right? What kind of Accident was it?"_

" _ **White water rafting accident**_ _,"_

" _What the hell was Jake doing in-"_

" _She didn't give me all of the details but…"_

 _She knows what's coming next, can already feel the kernels of dread and anxiety swirling in her stomach._

" _Rosie, please don't say it," Isa is gripping her desk chair to the point where her knuckles are White._

" _ **Isa, Jake and Angela are dead**_ _," When she hears Rosie's voice crack before her broken sob, she knows it's true._

SeaTac Airport-7 Months Later

"I still can't believe she moved to Seattle," Isabel shakes her head, pulling her coat tighter around her frame.

"Hey, at least she's still trying to reach out to us," Rosie points out as Isa nods in agreement. In the months since their brother's death, they've grown closer, not just with one another, but with their baby sister Maria as well.

"When does Mari's flight get in?" Isa asks, looking down at her watch.

"Her plane should've landed the same time as ours," Rosie says as she waves her husband over from baggage claim.

"I still can't believe Jake's gone," Patrick, Rosie's husband says with a sigh as he and Isa's husband Tony gather their wives luggage.

"I know; but it'll be nice to see Henry and Addison again," Tony agrees as a tiny mass runs directly into his legs, causing him to turn around.

"Hey Esme! Look how big you've gotten!" Maria's youngest daughter Esme is immediately greeted by her aunts and uncles as her older brother and sister quickly follow in the round of greetings.

"Hey," Maria greets her sisters as they fall into an awkward silence. Things are still a bit tense between the three of them, though they've been trying to work things out because they know Jake would want them to.

"It's good to see you Mari; how was your flight?"

"It was good, though I ended up sitting near the biggest family I'd ever seen, three sisters, their mom and can you believe the sisters had 14 kids between the three of them, oh, there they are!" Maria waves to her companions from the plane who wave back.

"Sounds like you had quite the plane ride," Rosie says as everyone gathers their luggage and begins looking for the person who would be taking them to their hotel and then to Addison's place.

"I think Addison said her ex-husband…"

"Uncle Derek!" Rosie, Maria, and Isabel all whip their heads around in surprise when the same people from Maria's flight are all rushing towards Addison's ex-husband.

"Wait, the people from the flight are Addison's ex-husband's family?" Isa's eyes widen in surprise as Derek greets his family, though his eyes widen when he spots Jake's sisters.

"This is about to be one hell of a Thanksgiving," Maria mutters

"I'll say,"

 _Chapter 17 to follow…_

* * *

 **Hi everyone!**

 **I hope your 2017 has gotten off to a good start so far. I'm currently working on an updating schedule since I'll have more free time to update and write fics. I decided to split this chapter up a bit because so much happens in the flashbacks as well as the present. So to put some things into context; Jake, as stated on the show, has 3 sisters. In this fic his sisters are Rosalita "Rosie" (imagine Salma Hayek), Isabel 'Isa' (think Eva Longoria) and Maria (think Roslyn Sanchez). Rosie is an Assistant Principle and History teacher in Houston, Isa is a top fashion designer with several boutiques on Rodeo drive and Maria is a nurse in New Jersey. For fic purposes, Jake was born in 1965, Rosie was born in 1972, Isa was born in 1974 and Maria was born in 1978. According to the show, their father left when Jake was 9 and their mother died when Jake was 18. For fanfic purposes, I'm going to say that either Jake's youngest sister has a different father, or their father sporadically popped back in long enough to father Maria. Isa and Rosie are married; all 3 sisters have children (Rosie has 5 girls, Isa has a son and a daughter, and Maria has a son and two daughters). I decided to throw in Derek's family for two reasons: one, for the drama and comedy and two, they're coming to Seattle since they didn't/couldn't make it to Amelia's wedding a few weeks earlier. Because I'm focusing so much on certain characters and I'm leaving other backstories stories unfinished, I'm probably going to do some one shots around this verse to introduce certain characters or to give more of a background on others like Alex and Izzie. You can look for those pieces to be featured in the upcoming Grey's/PP complication piece called 'Chasing Moments'. Also if you loved my fic 'Gone in the Night' I'm reposting it over on AO3, though it's a little different than the version.**

 **Anywho, this author's note got longer than I wanted it to, but I needed to put some things into perspective.**

 **I do hope you all enjoy and please keep reading!**

 **Xx**


	17. Chapter 17

_For my dear sweet friend and soul sister Darley1101._

* * *

Seattle, 3 Weeks Ago

 _When Addison told him that she was thinking of inviting Jake's family to Seattle for Thanksgiving, Derek was elated. He knew how hard the small holiday's like Mother's Day and Father's Day had been for her, but he felt glad that she wanted to be surrounded by familiar faces that reminded her of Jake (and Angela) for Thanksgiving. It was what prompted him to suggest that she invite her friends from Los Angeles as well._

" _I don't know Derek," The pair ended up working on a surgery together; 22-year-old Jill Martin, a pregnant mom with a mass tumor on her brain._

" _Think about it Addie; you'll have everyone you love-"_

" _Almost everyone," Right; he knows that for her, life will never be quite complete as it was before when Jake was alive._

" _Well, almost everyone you love will be together for the holidays," Addison glances at him; he can see her smiling through her scrub mask._

" _I'm still not convinced Derek; where the hell am I gonna put Jake's three sisters and their kids plus everyone from the practice?"_

" _You could use my place," Addison raises an eyebrow at him._

" _The McDream house; Meredith and I just finished renovating it and I don't think she's quite ready to go back to it yet. In fact, I think she's more comfortable at her old house if I'm being honest,"_

" _It's all she's ever really known, Derek,"_

" _You're right, but the McDream house is totally yours to spend the holidays with your family,"_

" _And that includes you right? Because no matter what happened between us after the divorce-"_

" _We're always gonna be family; I mean, you did cheat on me with my best friend and all…" It's nice that they can joke about her affair with Mark after all these years._

" _Well, I did find Meredith's panties in your coat pocket after prom…" of course the other residents, interns and even a couple of nurses are staring at them as though they've lost their minds and they laugh as usual._

" _I'll be there; Mere, the kids and I will be there. I'll even bring Mark too,"_

" _Thanks, Derek,"_

November 21, 2016

It's freezing cold out as he pulls on his coat to go to the airport to pick up his family as well as Addison's family. It had been Meredith's idea, along with Amelia's and surprisingly Nancy's after all three women learned that Addison wanted to bring Jake's family to Seattle. His sisters have become closer thanks to Jake's death (unfortunately) and they've even (somewhat on Nancy's part) managed to become at least friendly enough with Meredith that they acknowledge her as Derek's wife and she sends them pictures of the kids. The only bad part about this whole idea is that Addison has no idea that his family is coming…

That is until he gets a text from Mark ten minutes after he's left.

 _Addison's going to fucking kill you._

Well, so much for that idea.

He's excited, but also nervous about having his entire family together in the same city, practically under the same roof. He chuckles to himself when he remembers that the last time Addison really spent Thanksgiving with his family was the year his mother sprained her wrist and he put his wife, his wife who had never cooked an actual meal in her life that wasn't burnt, in charge of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. It was a disaster to say the least; Nancy got salmonella poisoning and his mother blamed it on Addison. Of course he came in and saved the day by cooking everyone hot dogs. He didn't stop to think about how this would make Addison feel, not to mention the fact that this is her first major holiday as a widow and now mom to three small kids. Plus, her husband's family was coming to visit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

He really didn't think any of this through. He can only hope that Addison will forgive him, that is if she even shows up to her own gathering.

Boston, MA

"Alright, is everyone here?" Nancy Shepherd stands in the middle of the Shepherd family homestead trying to do a final headcount on everyone. To say that this trip, the planning part at least, has been pure chaos is an understatement. She smiles fondly at the photograph of her father and smiles.

"You'd be so proud of everyone, dad," Nancy says softly, allowing her hand to gently stroke her father's cheek in the portrait.

"He most certainly would be; all 5 of his children are doctors, married with children…" Carolyn Shepherd stops and smiles at her husband's picture as well.

"I think he'd be most proud of Amelia,"

"I think so too; I hate that we couldn't get to the wedding, damn snow storm," Carolyn says wistfully as she shouts for all of her grandchildren to gather into the foyer of the house.

"Nana, do we really have to do this? Everyone's here and accounted for, and we're not exactly little kids anymore," Shep, Nancy's almost 18-year-old son says with a groan.

"Yes Shep, we have to; I'd rather not be the real life version of Home Alone," Nancy gives the boy a light whack on the arm as she does a proper headcount.

"Alright; Mom is here…I'm here, Liz is here, Kathleen is here," Nancy is glancing down at her list as Liz shakes her head.

"Let me handle roll call," Liz places two of her fingers into her mouth, doing a pretty affective whistle to get everyone's attention.

"You guys know the drill; everyone, line up according to your household," The grandchildren groan, grumbling about how they're all pretty much adults but still comply.

"Okay, mom's here…Nancy's house, roll call!"

It takes about 15 minutes but Carolyn, all 3 Shepherd sisters, their husbands and their 14 kids and their significant others are accounted for. Another 20 minutes later, and all of the luggage is packed into the fleet of cars required to carry them to Boston Logan International.

Hoboken, NJ 7 Months Ago

 _Maria Reilly is a struggling single mom who works ridiculous hours just to make ends meet. She'd always been the dreamer in the family, the one who changed career choices and career goals like one would change clothes. It wasn't until she had her youngest daughter Esme that she realized that it was time to settle down. So settle down she did; she went to school to pursue a degree to Nursing, which she excelled in. She lives comfortably, but it's still a struggle because of all the debt she got herself into when she was young and stupid, still pursuing her ridiculous dreams. Today is her off day and she's hunched over her dining room table agonizing over she's going to continue paying for her girl's after school activities. Esme is taking ballet and Chanel is into gymnastics and she just started figure skating a couple of weeks ago._

" _What am I gonna do?" Maria looks up at the sky, silently hoping that God will send her a sign._

 _She's perhaps the most religious out of all of her siblings, something she thinks her mother would be proud of. Though she was only 7 when her mother passed away, she deeply remembers her mother being a praying woman, one who acknowledged God daily and tried to pass that down to her children. She sighs when she thinks of her strained relationship with her three older siblings, her brother Jake especially. She smiles when she thinks of their last conversation not two days ago. She and Jake had been trying to get closer over the years. She's been putting money back to travel to Los Angeles to meet her new sister-in-law Addison and her nephew Henry for Christmas. Plus, she hasn't seen Angela since Lily's funeral; she vaguely recalls Jake telling her that their sisters Rosie and Isa would be present. She shakes her head when she thinks of Isa and Rosie. They've always seen her as the screw up in the family; she was always the one they had to bail out of everything. It's why she's kept her financial woes to herself, as well as her accomplishments since just before Esme was born. She doesn't want her sisters judging her choices and her mishaps._

" _What am I gonna do?" She's staring at her mortgage bill and shakes her head._

 _She can't dare ask the bank for an extension on her loan because her credit is shot straight to hell. She's got pay day loans; she's pawned the title to her car more times than she'd care to admit. The only person who truly knows her financial struggles are Jake, but she'd dare not ask him for help, no matter how understanding he'd sounded on the phone._

" **I'm your big brother her Mari, let me help you** ," _Jake told her._

" _Jake, I love you and I appreciate the offer, but no. I'm a big girl, it's time I start taking responsibility for my actions,"_

" **Stubborn** ,"

" _Just like you are; I don't know how that wife of yours has put up with it for almost 5 years," She can recall Jake chuckling into the other end of the phone, muttering something about how his wife was just as stubborn as he was, if not more stubborn._

" **But seriously Maria, if you ever need any help with anything, no matter what it is or what happens; don't hesitate to call me, or Addison. It doesn't matter if I'm around or not; if you need help, don't be afraid to reach out to her**."

" _Jake, I can't impose on your wife like that,"_

" **You're my family Maria, and Addison loves you simply because of that. I mean it, if you ever need anything and you I'm not around or you can't reach me, call Addison** ,"

 _Today, Maria's really considering it; she could use a little help. She swallows her pride and scrolls through her texts with Jake until she finds Addison's number; the two had only spoken twice, once when she called Jake on his wedding day and on their mother's birthday a few weeks ago. She's seriously reconsidering hanging up the phone, because it's been five rings and that stubborn Latino streak within her is starting to rear its ugly head. Just when she's about to hang up, Addison's voice is on the other end of the phone._

" **Maria**?"

" _Addison, hi, how are you?" Maria chews on her bottom lip when it takes Addison a few moments to answer her question._

" _You know what? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called; tell Jake I'll-"_

"… **No one's told you, have they**?" Maria frowns.

" _Told me what?"_

" **Have, have Rosie or Isabel called you**?"

" _No; we don't exactly, talk much," Maria tells her; she can hear Addison sigh heavily on the other end of the phone._

" **Well, this is gonna be so much more difficult then** ," _There's something about the way Addison is talking to her that screams that whatever she has to tell her isn't good._

 _Maybe Jake has changed his mind on helping her? Maybe Isa and Rosie have convinced him that she's not worth helping? Maybe Addison knows she's about to ask for money and is pissed off at Jake for telling her she could reach out to her? Maybe…_

" **Maria, are you, are you sitting down**?"

" _Yes…"_

" **Maria, I'm so sorry to tell you this but…Jake, Jake and Angela were in an accident earlier today** ,"

" _Oh my God! Are they okay? What happened?" She pauses for a moment, swears she can hear her sister-in-law let out a sob. No, oh no…_

" **I, I don't know what happened; I'm in LA and Jake was…Jake was visiting Angela and the kids in South America…** "

" _You said was, that Jake was visiting Angela…" There's a muffled sound on the other end of the phone for a few minutes, which makes Maria silently pray that her brother and niece are okay, but her gut is telling her that no, nothing is alright._

 _She's pretty sure the whole world is about to go to hell._

" **I'm so sorry Maria but, Jake and Angela…they um, they passed away** ,"

oOo

"Mommy, when can we eat?" Kailey is tugging at her mother's pants leg, causing Izzie to turn around and smile at her.

"Soon honey,"

"You said that 20 minutes ago!" Nicholas is hot on his sister's heels, stomping his foot impatiently just as Addison heads in their direction.

"We have to wait for everyone to get here Nicholas; why don't you and Kailey go into Zola's room and play with the rest of the kids," Nicholas sends Addison a glare that is so reminiscent of Alex that it makes her chuckle.

"Y'know, your father used to look at me like that when he was my intern," Addison tells the little boy, who looks up at her with wonder in his eyes.

"He did?"

"Oh yeah, what did you call my service Karev?" Alex looks up from his conversation with Owen and Mark to smirk at his boss and mentor.

"I don't think what I called your service is appropriate to say in front of children Montgomery," Addison grins as she leans forward and whispers to Nicholas,

"He called it 'the land of pink and squishy'," Alex shakes his head good-naturedly at the sound of his son's infectious peel of laughter as he rolls his eyes at Addison, who is ushering the twins into the room where the other children are.

"It's good to hear her laugh again," Jo tells him as she and Stephanie step inside the house. Derek's house is slowly beginning to fill with guests, most of them currently from the hospital.

"It is," Alex says with a smile as he watches Addison laugh at something funny Izzie said.

"Y'know, at first, I was worried about what Izzie moving back here would mean for us but, I'm okay with it. I mean, especially since she's dating that hunky guy from Ortho," Jo says as Alex whips his head around to stare at her.

"Izzie's seeing someone?" Jo looks at him curiously but nods with a laugh.

"Yeah, they've been going out for almost a month now," Jo shakes her head and heads to talk to her fellow resident friends.

If Izzie has been seeing the guy from Ortho for over a month, why the hell wouldn't she tell him?

SeaTac Airport 2 Hours Later:

Derek is standing near baggage claim with Jackson Avery, waiting for everyone to arrive.

"I can't believe I let him talk me into doing this," Jackson mutters as Derek chuckles.

"Mark is very attached to you Avery,"

"I am not his bitch boy flunky! Not anymore, I am a man; a grown man with a wife and a son. I'm not his resident, I am an attending, I practically run the plastics department!" Jackson rants.

"You're his new best friend," Derek says with a shrug as Jackson looks at him strangely.

"But, I thought you two were-"

"We are, but you're his best friend in regards to the fact that he didn't sleep with your wife,"

"He slept with Lexie," Jackson carefully points out, though he quickly rethinks that statement when he remembers that Derek was essentially Lexie's brother-in-law.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't-"

"It's okay; I don't think Lexie would want her name to be a taboo subject. But you are right, Mark did sleep with Lexie,"

"Is that a thing he does? Sleep with everyone's girl?"

"Mark's also slept with all four of my sisters,"

"How are we still friends with him?" Jackson laughs.

"Because despite his inability to keep it in his pants, he's probably the best damn friend you could ever have,"

"…So does Dr. Montgomery have any idea that your family's coming?"

"Nope; Mark says Callie let it slip and she's freaking out. She's currently not taking my phone calls, but my sister Amelia said she was pretty livid when she talked to her,"

"So we're essentially waiting for two families?"

"Plus, all of Addison's friends from her practice in LA," Jackson does the math in his head.

"How the hell are we gonna put all of these damn people in our cars?" Derek once again chuckles.

"Already taken care of; I rented a few 15 passenger vans that my brother-in-laws and one of the guys from Addison's practice will drive back to my place and then to their hotel," Derek squints his eyes, searching from the caravan of people otherwise known as his family as well as Addison's in-laws.

"Wait, I think I see one of Jake's sisters…" Derek is about to wave her over but he's distracted by the shout of,

"Uncle Derek!" He whips his head around when he feels a figure, otherwise known as his 16-year-old niece Grace.

"Whoa! Grace, look at you!" Derek's grin is infectious as several bodies swarm him.

"Alright, alright, let your Uncle Derek breathe," Carolyn Shepherd's voice cuts through the crowd as Derek smiles brightly at his mother.

"Ma,"

"It's been far too long Derek Christopher," He takes the time to embrace his mother before she turns to face Jackson.

"Hi there, Carolyn Shepherd…don't tell me, your Jackson, right?" Jackson is more than surprised to learn that she knows who he is; he's even more surprised when she hugs him.

"Mark told me about you; he says you're an incredible young surgeon," Jackson may hate Mark Sloan, but knowing that he respects him as a surgeon is a pretty damn good feeling.

"I hate to run but, I see Addison's sister-in-laws over at the other baggage claim," Derek says as Liz's eyes widen.

"I know that one! She was on our flight," Derek's sisters immediately begin conversing about Addison's sister-in-law, in a good way of course.

oOo

"Addison didn't say anything about her ex-husband's family coming to Thanksgiving," Maria says just as Derek Shepherd makes his way towards them.

"Hi, I'm-"

"Derek I presume?" Isabel raises an eyebrow at him, though her eyes are trained on his enormous family.

"That would be me; it's good to see you all, again," he vaguely remembers seeing them at Jake's funeral.

"I had no idea that your family was coming? I presume that's your family over there?" Maria gives Derek's sisters another wave as Derek smiles sheepishly.

"Please don't be mad at Addison; she had no idea they were coming. She found out and now she's not answering my calls. My sister Amelia used to work for Addison back in Los Angeles and since she was coming, I figured that it'd be a good idea for the rest of my family to come, since they couldn't make it to her wedding and they've never seen her son," Jake's sisters stare at Derek, making him feel very uncomfortable for a few moments.

"You have a huge family," Esme states, causing everyone to chuckle.

"Hey, our family's almost as big," Mariana, Rosie's oldest daughter states as she steps forward to shake Derek's hand.

"I'm Mariana, Rosie's oldest kid; these are my sisters, Giselle, Nina, and the twins, Gloriana and Gabrielle. Over there are my Aunt Isa's kids, Manny and Lucia; you've obviously met Esme, my Aunt Maria's kid; those are her siblings Benny and Chanel; you already know my mom and my Aunts, that's my dad Patrick; the guy standing next to him is my Tio Tony," Derek's eyes survey the rather large crowd and smiles.

"Well, it's nice to meet all of you; again, please don't be mad at Addison," Rosie waves him off with a dismissive hand.

"I'm not mad at her, I'm more interested in seeing just how crazy this Thanksgiving turns out to be," Derek chuckles.

He can't wait to see either.

 _Chapter 18 to follow…_

* * *

 **Yeah, we're gonna be stuck in Thanksgiving in Seattle for a while. This section of the story is really long and so I'm breaking it into parts in order not to overload you all with words. So I know we met quite a few characters in this chapter so here's a list to keep your head from spinning:**

 **Jake's Sisters:**

 **Rosie (Salma Hayek)**

 **Isabel "Isa" (Eva Longoria)**

 **Maria (Roslyn Sanchez)**

 **Rosie's husband Patrick (Esai Morales)**

 **Isa's husband Tony (Joe Manganiello)**

 **Rosie's children:**

 **Mariana (Ivana Baquero)**

 **Giselle (Grecie Santo)**

 **Nina (Jael De Pardo)**

 **Gloriana (Vanessa Merrell)**

 **Gabrielle (Veronica Merrell)**

 **Isa's children:**

 **Manny (Xolo Mariduena)**

 **Lucia (Dayrin Martinez)**

 **Maria's Children:**

 **Benny (Jake T. Austin)**

 **Chanel (Ava Acres)**

 **Esme (Honor Warren)**

 **Based on Canon, we know that Derek has four sisters including Amelia. All of the Shepherd sisters plus Mrs. Shepherd have appeared on the show besides Kathleen. For fanfiction purposes, Kathleen would look like Amanda Peete. Also in canon, we learned that Derek had nine nieces and five nephews. It's also safe to assume that all three Shepherd sisters are married. So for the Shepherd family we have:**

Carolyn Maloney Shepherd ( **Tyne Daily** )

Nancy Shepherd-Alexander ( **Embeth Davidtz** ) (age 53; born 1964)

Elizabeth 'Liz/Lizzie' Peterson ( **Neve Campbell** ) (age 52; born 1965)

Kathleen Shepherd-Billingsly ( **Amanda** **Peete** ) (age 54; born 1963)

 **Kathleen's Family:**

James Billingsly( **Paul Rudd** ) age 53; born 1964- _Husband_

Noah James Billingsly ( **Cody Christian** )age 27

Laura Maureen Billingsly ( **Allison Brie** ) age 25

Julie Christina Billingsly ( **Lily Collins** ) age 25

Kaitlyn 'Katie' Morgan Billingsly ( **Alexandra Chando** ) age 19

 **Nancy's Family:**

Mitchell "Mitch" Alexander ( **Julian McMahon** ) age 55; born 1962- _Husband_

Lydia Carolyn Alexander **(Mary Elizabeth Winstead** ) age 28

Cassidy 'Casey' Samantha Alexander ( **Minka Kelly** ) age 26

Sidney Vanessa Alexander ( **Leighton Meester** ) age 26

Jessica 'Jessa/Jess' Leslie Elaine Alexander (Lea Michelle) age 22

Shepherd 'Shep' Grayson Alexander ( **Graham Phillips** ) age 18

 **Liz's Family:**

Andrew "Andy" Peterson ( **JJ Fields)** age 53 born 1964- _Husband_

Ethan Fitzgerald Peterson ( **Joe Collier** ) age 23-

Jason Christopher Peterson ( **Logan Lerman** ) age 20

Christian 'Blake' Peterson ( **Shane Morgan Siegel** )age 19

Lucy 'Deena' Peterson ( **Hailey Steinfeld** ) age 17

Stephanie 'Grace' Peterson ( **Maia Mitchell** ) age 16

 **I'm so sorry this author's note got incredibly long but I didn't want to confuse you all with the sudden slew of new characters.**

 **I hope you all enjoy! Be on the lookout for chapter 18 really soon!**

 **Xx**


	18. Chapter 18

Los Angeles-April 30, 2016

 _Sam Bennett sighed heavily as he and Naomi watched Addison board her family's private jet. The scene in front of him was eerily reminiscent of when she'd left to go bury Bizzy. He turned his head when he felt Naomi squeeze his hand._

" _Someone should go with her," Naomi murmured as Sam sighed, turning his attention back towards Addison._

" _You know that, and I know that, but you know Addie, there's no getting through to her. Not when she's like this," Sam said as Naomi sighed._

" _I can't believe Archer and The Captain are just letting her do this all on her own!"_

" _She did refuse their help when they offered it; plus, you can't expect them to handle a situation as delicate as bringing home the bodies of her husband and stepdaughter plus said stepdaughter's two small children,"_

" _You're right but still, she shouldn't have to go through this alone," This time it was Sam's turn to squeeze Naomi's hand._

" _She's not; this is why we volunteered to take Henry while she's gone. It's why Amelia offered to make sure the guest list for the memorial was taken care of. This is why Pete and Violet are taking care of the catering and the flowers and why Cooper and Charlotte are in charge of finding a priest,"_

" _But Sam she's still-"_

" _It may seem like she's alone but she's not; remember, Damien has connections in South America. She's not alone Nae; she's got a team of doctors who love her and are making this time as easy as possible for her," Naomi watched as Addison's plane took off and shook her head._

" _You may be right, but we're not the ones on that plane with her," Sam squeezed his wife's hand once more._

" _I know we're not but, she's got Damien and Noah with her. She'll be fine Nae,"_

" _I hope so Sam,"_

oOo

 _Damien Sanchez and Noah Cleveland are particularly close, having grown up together in East LA. It was no surprise when they went to college together, married two best friends and both landed jobs at Seaside Wellness after working at a shitty clinic and then for a bunch of elite snobs over in Beverly Hills. Plus, when they heard their friend Jake Reilly was going to be working at the same practice as a fertility specialist, they were sold. Here they are some 5 years later on a plane with their friend's wife to South America to help identify his body._

" _You okay, Addison?" Noah leans forward in his seat, making sure his boss and his friend's widow is still alive._

 _He doesn't know Addison as well as the others, but he knows enough that she is definitely not okay. He and Damien let out sighs of relief when she turns her attention from the window to look at them. She gives them a weak smile and a nod, causing Damien to reach out and touch her hand._

" _I know this is hard but-"_

" _Please, Dame, spare me the 'it's going to be okay' speech. I've already gotten it from everyone else at the practice," She leans forward, running a hand through her hair before pinching the bridge of her nose._

" _I know you don't wanna hear it but, you will be okay, not today, not tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year but you will be okay…someday," Noah tells her as Addison studies him, really and truly studies him._

" _You've been through this before, haven't you?"_

" _My wife Kelsey's sister; she was a bit older than Angela. She had stomach cancer, can you believe that? A girl who's barely 25 dies from fucking stomach cancer. I remember having to be strong for my wife, but that loss took its toll on me as well. Ashley wasn't just my sister-in-law, she'd become my little sister over the years. She stayed with us, watched our kids when we needed her to. It's only been two years and I'm still not okay. So don't ever feel like you have to be put together so fast all of the time. It's okay to be a little broken for a while," Addison's eyes well up with tears as she chokes out,_

" _Is it? Because I have Henry to think about and-"_

" _You have a right to grieve, because what good will you be to Henry if you've had a nervous breakdown? You've got a practice full of people who wanna help you get through this; you just have to be willing to let them help,"_

SeaTac Airport, 7 Months Later

Noah Cleveland and Damien Sanchez are happily strolling through the airport, their wives and children following behind them. Of course, they would've done Thanksgiving in their home state of Texas but, when their former boss invited them to Seattle, how could they say no? They'd never been to Seattle before so it seemed like a good trip. Plus, they knew it would've been what Jake wanted, for Addison to be surrounded by family and familiar faces for her first major holiday without him.

"I can't believe it's been almost eight months since Jake died," Noah sighed heavily.

"Me either, but hey, at least we get to see Henry and Addison," Damien added as Noah hummed in agreement.

They watched as their children raced ahead of them, excited to be in a city where there was actual snow.

"Oh, we're not gonna be able to keep them out of the snow," Noah shook his head as he watched his four-year-old son Chase pressed his face against the window of the terminal, giggling excitedly about the snow and how he couldn't wait to play in it as well as the large planes that kept coming and going.

Damien looked around, smiling at his other coworkers as they sat with their families. He knew that Amelia's brother Derek was supposed to be meeting them at the airport. He looked at his watch; Derek should've been here by now. He looked up when he heard familiar voices coming towards them. His eyes widened when he saw Derek walking towards him with not only Jake's sisters, but people he assumed were his family; if the way Amelia greeted them was any indication.

"Is that-" Noah's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Apparently, Derek's family is here,"

"…Where the hell are we all gonna fit?" Damien chuckled as he thought of how much his friend was probably freaking out.

"Chances are, Addison has no clue that Derek's family is coming," Noah nodded his head in agreement as they made their way towards the extremely large crowd of Reilly's and Shepherd's.

Seattle:

Henry Montgomery has been through a lot in the last seven months. Losing your father just before you turn five is a lot to adjust to; it's a lot to adjust to no matter what age. However, it's an even harder adjustment for Henry because he's so young. To make the situation even harder, Henry and his mom have moved to Seattle and, his sister Angela's kids are living with them. He's learned that his mother is now Raphael and Isabella's mother, something he's perhaps had the hardest time dealing with. Like right now, his mother is holding Isabella in her arms. She's not feeling well today and so she's been extra clingy today.

"Shh, shh, shh, I know Bella I know," Mama is holding Isabella, who's crying harder than ever and it's really annoying Henry.

He's sitting in a corner drawing a picture; the only people he really talks to are Zola and Sofia. Zola and Sofia are his best friends; well, Sofia's actually his godsister, whatever that word means. He likes Kailey and Nicholas but he's still trying to get used to them. Raphael and Nicholas are playing with the legos while Kailey quietly reads a book to Zola's little brother Bailey.

"Why's your picture have so many rain clouds, Henry?" Sofia peers over his shoulder at his drawing and frowns.

"Sofia, you know why." Zola is the peacemaker within the little trio and appears to be the wisest of them all. She and Sofia share a look, this silent communication that makes them far wiser than their years.

Henry simply frowns, keeps drawing his picture, looking up occasionally in annoyance at Isabella's crying. His tiny hands are balled up into fists; mama should be with him, not Isabella. He should be in his room, at their house on the beach, not here in Seattle. He shouldn't be the only one of his friends who doesn't have a daddy. The more he thinks about daddy, the angrier he gets. Daddy broke his promise and he never, ever broke a promise. Henry doesn't even realize he's crying until mama is kneeling in front of him. Isabella is still on her lip but she seems concerned about him.

"Henry, what's wrong?" Mama is doing her best to keep her eyes on him, but she's trying to keep Isabella calm too. Henry is okay at first until Isabella says her first word,

"Mama!" It's a shock to both Henry and Addison; Raphael looks up when he hears his sister speak, but he doesn't really understand the magnitude of Isabella's first word.

"Addie! Bella talked!" Raphael looks excited, though Zola and Sofia's eyes widen; this is bad, this is really bad.

Apparently, Isabella doesn't understand either, she's still crying, still clinging to Addison, calling her mama. Isabella's crying is enough to bring a few other adults into the room, Aunt Callie and Izzie in particular.

"Addison is everything o…oh," Aunt Callie notices it too; the way Isabella keeps calling Addison mama.

"Why don't you kids come help me set the table?" Izzie suggests, taking Sofia, Bailey, Kailey, Nicholas, Zola, and Raphael out of the room; Callie gently places a hand on Addison's shoulders before carrying a crying Isabella into the next room.

Addison and Henry need to have a talk, because this, this changes everything.

Eduardo Gomes International Airport, Manaus Brazil May 1, 2016

 _It's extremely hot; that's the first thing she notices about South America. It's so hot that she has to in a nearby gift shop to buy a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. That's of course after they go through customs. She's surprised when they're met by an American looking man who immediately shakes her hand, offering his condolences. It feels weird being offered her condolences. She can't seem to speak back to the man, which is where Noah and Damien come in. Noah quietly explains everything to the tall looking man, Richard Spencer. Damien remains beside her, giving her hand a small squeeze of reassurance. She watches as Noah shakes Richard's hand before heading towards her and Damien._

 _"So, because there are no actual hospitals in Manacapuru, their bodies were transported to Santa Julia. The coroner did autopsies to determine an actual cause of death, Richard's willing to take us to the hospital, but then we've got another problem," Addison pinches the bridge of her nose; this is going to be a long process, longer than she's able to handle._

 _"Okay…"_

 _"We're gonna have to go to Manacapuru first since that's where the accident happened plus, we've got some red tape to go through to get Isabella and Raphael," Addison closes her eyes for a second, a litany of curse words going through her head as she grows annoyed about Angela's decision to come all the way to the goddamn Amazon river._

 _"Fine, whatever, the sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can bring my husband and my kid home," She doesn't say anything else, she calmly slides her shades down over her face as Damien and Noah share a look._

 _This is gonna be one hell of a trip…_

Seattle, November 21, 2016

There's no one in the room but Henry and he's fuming. You can't miss how angry he is, he's literally shaking. Addison sighs heavily, her conversation with Amelia back in September hitting her like a ton of bricks,

 _No, you needed that change Addison, not Henry. He could've thrived in LA just like he's thriving in Seattle. You left because you couldn't handle the fact that Jake's dead._

It was true at first, Henry was doing well; the change of scenery had been doing him good. But after a while, she noticed that he wasn't the same happy little boy he was those first few weeks in Seattle. She tried to ignore it, chunked it up to five-year-old growing pains but now, now that's Henry is radiating with anger over the fact that Isabella has just called her 'mama', Amelia's words hit home more than ever.

"I'm sorry, Henry," it's the only thing she can think of to say to him at this point because she essentially ripped him away from everything, despite Violet gently telling her not to.

She may not agree with all of Violet's parenting choices or life decisions for that matter, but she knows that Vi is a great shrink and this time, she knew what she was talking about. Henry doesn't respond right away, instead, he focuses on his drawing. It's been the exact same drawing for the last few weeks; there are squiggly lines of stick figures with various colors at the tops of their head (the bright red is her obviously), but then there's Black, lots and lots of Black, and rainclouds, there's always rain clouds in his pictures.

"Henry, Henry, can you look at mommy, please?" When she reaches for him and he pulls back, she feels like her heart is going to break. This isn't something a few nice words can fix, not this time.

"Honey, tell me what you want, please," her voice is desperate and even though she's been trying not to cry, her voice still comes out wobbly.

"I want Isabella and Raphael to go away and I want daddy back," it's a tiny request, barely audible but she hears it nonetheless.

"I want daddy back too Henry but-"

"It's not fair! It's not fair!" His shouting startles her a bit; Henry's never been a child who raised his voice, at least not in anger.

"I know it's not honey but, I can't…daddy's not coming back Henry," What happens next is unimaginable. Henry stands up and throws his chair across the room, toys and books go flying next, his crayons are hitting the wall and when he's finished, he falls to his knees, sobbing.

Addison is right there to hold him, to soothe him through this pain, because it's partially her fault. She should have listened to Violet, to Amelia, she should've known her son better, but as usual, she was only thinking about her pain. She thought that maybe if they moved away, that losing Jake (and Angela, she always seems to forget about Ang these days) would be easier, that it would hurt less for her, for Henry, for Isabella and Raphael. Unfortunately, it didn't and now she's sitting in the middle of the floor at Derek's house doing her best to console her son.

This is so not how she wanted to spend her first Thanksgiving without Jake.

 _Chapter 19 to follow…_

* * *

 **Very painful at the end and still very, very slow; I know and I'm sorry. But hey, at least we're in Brazil and we're almost close to having the moment where Addison identifies Jake's body so, that's good. Who am I kidding, these next few chapters are gonna be painful; I apologize in advance. The next update might be kind of slow, because my Birthday is Monday and I've got plans for the weekend and I'm working so, I'll do my best to try and push out a new chapter next week but, I make no guarantees. Also, if I don't get another chapter out next week, I'll make it up to you all by giving you a longer chapter.**

 **Xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**I apologize for the long wait; I'm a few weeks away from FINALLY graduating college, but here's the next chapter. Also, I may have miscalculated the children's ages so to clarify, Henry is roughly 5, Sofia is around 6, Zola is 7 and Bailey should be about 3 or so.**

* * *

"This is bad, this is really bad," Callie murmurs as she and Izzie stand outside of Zola's room; Henry has been crying for at least 20 minutes.

"I know, I feel so bad for them. Did Isabella really call Addison mama?" Izzie asks in hushed tones.

"She did; but she was barely a year old when Angela died so Addison's all she knows," Callie sighs; she knows how this feels, losing someone you love and trying to help a young child cope with the loss.

Two-and-a-Half Years Ago

 _Callie is standing in the middle of her bedroom in complete shock; Arizona is packing her things and she's leaving._

 _She's leaving for Malawi._

" _I can't Calliope, I can't do this I can't stay here with you," Arizona is crying but Callie, Callie's still trying to wrap her head around it all._

 _Arizona is leaving her…_ again _but this time, it looks like it might be for good._

" _What about me, what about Sofia?" That makes Arizona take pause as she turns to look at Callie with a sad look in her eyes and says,_

" _She was never mine to begin with, not really,"_

 _Before Callie can stop herself, she reaches out and hits Arizona, slaps her hard in the face._

" _You don't get to say that! You don't get to do that to my child!"_

" _See? There it is! She was never mine Callie, I was just the fill-in parent!"_

" _And I asked you to adopt her and you did! I told you that she was yours; she calls you mama for God's sake!"_

" _I know, and I love that little girl with all my heart but this isn't good for her, this isn't good for us. Look at what the plane crash did to us! We're a mess Callie and we weren't even that good before then!" Callie shakes her head slowly and laughs, low and hollow._

" _We were fine before the plane crash but then you went and wallowed in your sorrows and-"_

" _I LOST MY LEG BECAUSE OF YOU!" and there it is again, that goddamned leg._

" _When are you gonna get it through your thick skull that it was either your leg or your life!? I did it to save you because what good what it have done to have kept your leg if it took your life, huh? Is that what you wanted, to die?" Callie is shoving Arizona against the wall, trying to make her look at her, trying to get her to see, to understand that she cannot lose her, not after everything she's already been through._

" _Callie, stop it," Arizona is shoving at her hands, trying to push her away but she won't have it._

" _I love you, we have a child, we just lost a baby and you're just gonna up and leave me!?"_

" _Callie! I can't do this anymore, I can't breathe here, I can't…this, this life, this us, it's suffocating me, alright?"_

" _Get out," Callie's voice is firm but her eyes are swimming with tears._

 _"Callie-"_

" _I said get out! Get out of my apartment, get out of my life, get out of Sofia's life and don't you ever come back do you hear me? You don't know me, you never met me, you never fell in love with me and you are sure as hell not Sofia's mother do you understand me? You are dead to me!" Arizona simply nods as she finishes packing, though she pauses to quietly tell Callie,_

" _I really am sorry, Calliope,"_

oOo

Henry has finally stopped crying; he and Addison are sitting on the floor. Addison is holding him in her arms as he lets out tiny sniffles and hiccups. She doesn't say anything because what can she say? Because saying 'I'm sorry your father and sister died' won't change the fact that they're dead. It certainly won't change the fact that Isabella called her mama or that more than likely, Henry's gonna have two new siblings once the finalization of their adoption process comes through. Still, she feels like she can apologize for uprooting them, for taking them out of the comfort of Los Angeles and thrusting them into the life that she needed in Seattle.

"I'm sorry, Henry," She's running a hand through his rough but silky curls. He shifts a little, looking up at her with this sadness in his eyes that takes her breath away.

"I'm sorry I made us move Henry, I'm sorry that things are changing so much. I know it's scary but we're gonna get through this, okay? You, me, Isabella and Raphael, we're all gonna get through this I promise you that," She leans forward and presses a kiss to his brow, hoping that for one second he believes her, because right now, she sure as hell doesn't.

Manacapuru, Brazil 6 Months Ago

 _The weather is sweltering as Richard drives them to the small village where Angela lives; correction, lived. It's a…pretty decent looking place from what she can see behind her sunglasses and the large hat she bought at the airport. After a short time, the jeep pulls up to a cute looking villa not that far from the water; this must be Angela's place._

" _You ready?" Damien glances over at her with a sympathetic smile._

" _As ready as I'll ever be," with that, the four of them climb out of the jeep and are met by a man with a heavy accent and a thick beard._

" _Are you Mrs. Reilly?" The man asks Addison._

" _I am,"_

" _I'm so sorry for you loss, both of them," Addison nods, clearing her throat as she throws around the weight of the Montgomery name._

" _My daughter Angela, she has two children; Raphael and Isabella,"_

" _Ah, yes; they were with the deceased-"_

" _Angela, my daughter's name is Angela,"_

" _Right, sorry; the children were with some of Angela's friends…but they've been turned over to the state as part of protocol. You can retrieve them from the local orphanage just down the road," Addison brushes the man off, keeps her eyes focused on Angela's place._

" _Would you…would you like to go inside?" Apparently, the man is also Angela's landlord._

 _Addison nods before taking a deep breath and following the man up to the front door._

" _Addison, are you sure you wanna-" It's Noah whose hand is on Addison's shoulder; this won't be easy, Jake's things are probably in there and he knows how hard she's been trying to hold it together, but this time, he's not so sure she'll be able to handle it._

" _I'll be fine Noah," there's a sereneness in her voice that surprises him, but he's also learned from Jake over the years that Addison Montgomery is one convincing actress. Still, Noah nods and lets go of her shoulder, allowing her to move inside the apartment._

" _How bad do you think it'll be?" Noah leans over and murmurs to Damien._

" _I don't know, but what I do know is that the longer we stay, the worse it'll be for her when she actually sees the bodies,"_

* * *

Seattle Tacoma International Airport-Thanksgiving

Jackson Avery has never seen so many people in his life; well he has but, not this many people in one person's immediate family anyways. He knew that Dr. Shepherd had a huge family, but he wasn't expecting Dr. Shepherd _and_ Dr. Montgomery's family as well as all of her colleagues from Los Angeles and their families to be here. Right now, he's still trying to figure out how the hell all of these people are going to fit inside Meredith's living room; he hasn't even begun to think about the cost of their hotel rooms or if there'll even be enough hotel rooms for them at the Archfield. He's shaking his head as Dr. Shepherd's youngest sister, Amelia, walks up to him with a smile.

"You're Jackson, right? Mark's resident," Jackson sighs heavily.

"I'm an attending actually," Amelia raises an eyebrow.

"Hm. The way Mark talks about you-"

"Oh I've heard how he talks about me,"

"C'mon, Mark talks about me like I'm still a kid too and I'm married with a three year old,"

"So I guess I shouldn't feel offended then?"

"If you do, you should learn to get over it fast, because while Mark talks about you like you're just some kid, he said you're one hell of a doctor,"

"That's the second time I've heard that tonight,"

"Whoever else told that to you, my guess is Derek, you should listen to them, especially if they're talking about Mark Sloan. Listen, the real reason I came over here was to ask, how's Addison? I mean, I can't ask Derek because he won't tell me anything and I figured that Mark's at least talked about Addie to you and-"

"Lemme guess, you wanna make sure it's safe for you to see her after the way you acted about your wedding?" Amelia looks down at the floor guiltily and nods.

"It was a pretty shitty thing of me to do,"

"It was, but to answer your question, she's…dealing. Bailey still hasn't let her come back to work yet and it's killing her but, she's dealing with everything the best she can,"

"And Henry, how is he?"

"He's adjusting pretty well. I mean, he has his meltdown moments but that's normal for a five-year-old kid who's moved to a new city and lost his father,"

"Yeah, I've been down that road before; I just…Henry's my godson and I really wish Addison would've-"

"Mark thought about moving to, y'know, to Los Angeles after Lexie died. Hell, if I'm honest I think we all did. It's hard, losing somebody you love in a such a shitty way," Amelia stares at him long and hard for a few moments before responding,

"I'm assuming you were involved with Lexie too?"

"She was my friend at first but yeah, we were kind of a thing for a while, before I realized she was still in love with Sloan. It's cool though, I made my peace with things and got married to a really great woman, April,"

"I just hope that Addie is happy again," Jackson looks Amelia in the eyes and replies,

"She will be, just give her some time,"

Seattle, Two-and-a-Half Years Ago

 _By the time Callie picks Sofia up from daycare, Arizona is gone and so are her things. The only thing she left behind was a half assed note and a letter to Sofia that said she shouldn't open it until she was a teenager. Callie scoffs at the letter's instructions._

" _Mami, where's mama?" And this is the hard part, the part where Callie has to break her baby's heart by telling her the truth._

" _C'mere Sofia, come sit next to Mami," The little girl obeys and climbs up onto the sofa next to her mother._

" _Sofia, I want you to know how much I love you, okay?"_

" _I know, I love you too Mami,"_

" _Sweetie…your mama, she's, she's gone," The words are like burning hot lava as they come out of Callie's mouth._

" _Did she go to work?" And oh, the curious look of innocence in Sofia's eyes is heartbreaking._

" _No baby, mama, mama moved away," Sofia's little brow furrows as she tries to understand what's happening._

" _She moved? But mama, how come she didn't take me with her?"_

" _Honey, do you remember mama's accident?"_

" _Yeah, it made her leg go away," Talking as though Arizona's leg disappeared is the only way for Sofia to comprehend what happened, so nobody corrects her._

" _Yeah, well, mama's been sad about losing her leg for a really long time and it made her not happy. It made her, well, it made her not want to live here with us anymore."_

" _Can we go see her?" Callie has to take a deep breath as she prepares to break her daughter's heart even more with her cold response._

" _No, honey; your mama doesn't wanna see us anymore. Maybe, maybe one day she'll want to but, right now she doesn't,"_

 _There are tears after that and many questions of 'is mama moving back home yet?' that follow. Callie spends more time wiping her daughter's tears than anything else. Late at night, after Sofia's gone to sleep, she curses Arizona, curses the day she came back from Malawi the first time. Curses the fact that she allowed her back into her heart. She curses the day that she allowed her to love Sofia, because now there was a hole in her heart and there was nothing that could fix it except Arizona coming back, but somehow Callie knew that was never going to happen._

Seattle-Present:

"Callie, are you okay?" Izzie looks over at her with sympathetic eyes; they've both been through this, sort of.

"Yeah, just…thinking about how hard it was for me when Arizona left, how hard it was for Sofia. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this has been for Henry. Not only did he lose his father but he essentially gained two siblings while losing his sister,"

"Poor kid; have Raphael and Isabella's adoption papers been finalized yet?" Callie runs a hand through her hair and sighs.

"No; apparently, Raphael's father has deciding to fight Addison for custody,"

"What? After he practically abandoned Angela?!" Izzie is furious; how dare he!?

"Yep, feels like he can give Raphael a better life than Addison,"

"That's a load of bull and we both know it," Izzie sighs as Callie hums in agreement.

"What about Isabella's dad?"

"Addie doesn't know who he is; Angela never told them,"

"What?"

"Yeah, all she told Jake and Addie was that she met a guy while she was visiting them in LA and that she was pregnant and keeping the baby," Izzie shakes her head once more; those poor kids, poor Addison.

"I still can't believe that he's actually trying to fight Addison for custody of Raphael!"

"I know; it's why Jake hated him so much. He felt like he destroyed Angela,"

"Yeah, I know; Jake wasn't exactly happy about Angela running off to South America with him,"

Los Angeles-2013

" _Pregnant!? Come on Ang, you can't be serious!" Jake is pacing and Jake never paces. In fact, in the four months that they've been married she's rarely seen him angry._

" _Dad, it happens," Angela is standing her ground; she's got a point, she's 21 years old and, it's her body._

" _It doesn't just happen Angela!"_

" _It did with you and Addison!"_

" _Addison's not pregnant and she's also not some 20-something dating a man twice her age who, by the way, should be fired!"_

" _Dad, you can't do that! You said you'd respect my relationship!" Addison stands there, Henry on her hip, watching father and daughter argue back and forth. She's unsure of what to say, because no matter what she says, somebody will be angry with her. Still, she'd rather not have Jake go out and do anything stupid, like try and murder Angela's professor…boyfriend._

" _Jake, I know you don't wanna hear this but, Angela's 21," Of course Jake looks hurt that she's 'taking Angela's side' but she's not; she's simply trying to diffuse a situation and put her 1 year old to bed._

" _Thank you, Addison! At least somebody-"_

" _Ah, ah, ah; just because I said you were an adult, doesn't mean I agree with you. But, whether or not I agree, it's your body, your decision, your life and we, we have to respect that. Jake, you raised Angela after her mother died, you taught her everything she needs to know about life. You have to trust that your good teaching will cause her to make a sound decision; one that's best for her," She's facing him now, one of her arms on his shoulders as he leans in towards her._

" _Fine, but when the baby comes-"_

" _I'll be fine dad, I promise," Angela takes quick strides towards them, wrapping herself up in a hug from them both._

" _I'm glad you married her dad; she trusts me, more importantly she trusts the way you raised me," Angela mumbles into Jake's shirt as he looks over at his wife with nothing but love and gratitude._

" _Yeah, I'm glad I married her too,"_

oOo

Henry has stopped crying and his eyes are closed; he must've fallen asleep she thinks. This isn't how she wanted their first major holiday to start off. She sighs heavily as she stands, scooping him up into her arms.

"I'm sorry I yelled mama," Oh. So he wasn't sleeping then.

"It's okay Henry; sometimes, we yell when we're sad," Addison tells him; she stands there for a moment, gently swaying them back and forth like she used to when he was a baby and couldn't sleep at night.

"Isabella can call you mama," Its a tiny admission, but an admission all the same.

"Henry, are you sure? I saw how upset that made you," She's hesitant to be okay with this. Because even though she knows Isabella didn't call her mama on purpose, she still has to make sure her boy is coping with this tremendous loss.

"She's little and she doesn't have a mama, and you're like a mama to her,"

"Henry, just because Isabella calls me mama doesn't mean that I love you any less, okay?"

"I know," Henry isn't looking at her; instead, he's playing with the ends of her hair.

"Henry, I need you to understand that; I love you, okay? I love you so much Henry and just because Isabella and Raphael are in our lives I don't want you to forget that," She's put him on the ground and is kneeling in front of him. His eyes are glassy and he wipes at them with the back of his sleeve before falling into her arms.

"Whaddya say we go home, hmm? I think we've had far too much excitement for one day,"

"No, I wanna stay," Henry murmurs and bless her boy and his resilient heart.

"You're sure Henry? Because we can go home and see everyone else tomorrow," What he says next surprises her and nearly knocks the wind out of her.

"Daddy would want us to stay; Thanksgiving is for being with the people you love, right mama?"

"Yeah, it is,"

 _Chapter 20 to follow…_

* * *

 **Again, this is a VERY slow burn as you can see by the flashbacks. I'm thinking in the next chapter we'll check up on the Seaside gang and, we may be meeting Jake's estranged father soon! (Spoiler alert, he shows up at the funeral!) I'm gonna do my best to try and update as often as I can, but I make no guarantees, especially since graduation is right around the corner.**

 **Until next time,**

 **Take Care!**

 **Xx**


	20. Chapter 20

Manacapuru, Brazil- Six Months Ago

 _Angela's place is just off the beach, exactly like she'd told Henry it was. In fact, it's oddly reminiscent of Addison's house in Los Angeles. Well, not exactly, but, it's very similar. It's a villa style house; two bedrooms, one bath with a small deck with an incredible view of the beach. Addison steps inside the house and it nearly takes her breath away. Everything is so well put together as though someone would be home later that day. Jake's coat is casually draped over a chair in the kitchen. Isabella's high chair still has a bowl of food on top of it. There's a bowl of soggy cereal in front of a chair that she can only assume is Raphael's, sits on the table._

 _There are bills on the kitchen counter; Angela's keys and purse are casually strewn about. She smiles fondly at the endless amounts of drawings strewn about the refrigerator, mostly done by Raphael and a few from Henry; Jake had snuck some from home. She lets out a sob when she sees what she's sure is the last photo of them, Angela and the kids sitting out on the deck; Jake must've taken that one. The living room is littered with toys; most of them she assumes are Isabella's. There's a playpen sitting in the corner, a bottle of milk inside of it. Apparently Angela or Jake was sleeping on the couch (Jake she assumes; he'd never make Ang give up her bed). She's scared to touch anything, but she needs to feel Jake, to smell his scent. She picks up the neatly folded blanket and that's when the damn breaks. She falls to her knees sobbing; it smells like Jake._

 _Her heart breaks in that instant and she's not sure if it can ever be put back together again._

Seattle, Thanksgiving:

They've been settled in the living room for about 20 minutes now. Henry is sitting with Zola, Sofia, and Izzie and Alex's twins. Raphael is playing with Bailey in a corner and Addison is trying to calm a crying Isabella. She's got a fever, not a good sign; when Addison goes into doctor mode and gives her the once over, she quickly realizes what the problem is.

"She's cutting more teeth," Addison sighs, gently rubbing a hand along the young girl's back in an attempt to sooth her.

"I've got some baby Orajel around her somewhere; Bailey was cutting teeth a few months ago," Meredith offers, giving Addison a kind smile before heading off into one of the bathrooms, returning with it a few minutes later.

"You are a lifesaver Meredith Grey," Addison breathes a sigh of relief as she carefully spreads some along Isabella's aching gums.

"Don't mention it; I'm just glad it's helping, poor thing," Meredith runs a hand along Isabella's cheek.

"This is going to be tough; I haven't had a teething baby in almost 5 years,"

"You've done it before; it's just like riding a horse," Bailey reminds her just as Mark makes his way over toward them.

"She okay?" Mark glances down at Isabella, who has taken to sleepily playing with the ends of Addison's hair.

"She's okay, just a really bad case of teething, isn't that right sweetheart?" Addison presses a kiss to the baby's head before glancing up at Mark.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you they were coming; it was Derek's idea I swear," she doesn't need to know who the 'they' are Mark's talking about.

"I get it; you're right, it makes sense to invite them. They haven't seen Amelia in years and they haven't met Colin or James," Mark looks at her strangely, deciding to tease her he goes with,

"Can ya say that again? Did, did Addison Montgomery just say that I'm right?" Addison shakes her head, gives him a smile as she rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"Don't make me say it again Mark,"

"It's good to see you smile; how's Henry doing?" Addison glances over at Henry; he's more quiet than usual, but he manages to smile every now and then.

"Handling this far better than any kid his age should," Addison sighs as Mark places a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Everyone handles grief differently; have you thought about talking to Kath or your shrink friend?"

"You mean Violet,"

"Yeah; isn't she married to the hippie doc?" Addison chuckles.

"His name is Pete, Mark; and I don't know, Henry's a little young for therapy, don't you think?"

"He's gonna need to channel those feelings somehow,"

"Speaking from personal experience?" Addison raises an eyebrow at him; she knows that Mark was 12 when his mother died so he's probably projecting, or he could just genuinely be concerned.

"If I'd met Derek sooner…who knows how I would've turned out. Maybe you'd still be married to Derek," Mark shrugs lamely, knows he can't change the past but, he does think about if he'd had someone intervene in his life sooner or if his own father had bothered to get off the couch after his mother died.

"Don't rewrite history; because if you do that, I wouldn't have my life, I wouldn't have met Jake, or had my kids…" she takes a deep breath to steady her emotions; she's just referred to Raphael and Isabella as her children for the first time.

That's what they are; _her_ children, no matter what Raphael's idiot father says.

3 Weeks Ago…

 _Bailey still hasn't given her clearance to come back to work yet, something about needing to get herself properly settled in. She'd even suggested that Addison buy a house; because an apartment with three small children wasn't exactly a conducive lifestyle for three children under the age of five and a world class surgeon. Especially if said world class surgeon was also a Forbes. Of course, she didn't tell Bailey that both Callie and Mark had suggested she buy a house. She could easily buy a house, she just wasn't ready to; buying a new house would mean that this was a permanent situation. Sure, she wasn't leaving Seattle anytime soon, but buying a house would mean that Jake was never coming back and that she'd have to start thinking ahead to a future, one without him in it._

" _You okay, Addie?" She'd decided to take the kids, Isabella and Raphael, to the park._

 _She was surprised to find Richard there. He's still having a hard time adjusting to not being a surgeon anymore. She hates that his career is over, but she's even happier that he's still here with her; she couldn't bear to lose anyone else._

" _I'm…okay," She's watching Raphael run around the playground while Isabella dozed in her lap._

" _How's Henry doing?"_

" _Henry's great, he still has nightmares every now and then but, he's okay," She knew that Richard was really asking about her, but it's easier to talk about Henry and how he's doing than it is about her own feelings. They're engrossed in a conversation about surgery when a well-dressed woman walks over to them._

" _Addison Forbes Montgomery?" Addison looks at the woman strangely as the woman keeps her eyes trained on Isabella._

" _Yes?"_

" _You've been served," With that, the woman hands her a thick manila envelope and walks away._

" _Addison…" Richard is looking over at her with concern but her eyes are focused on the papers in her hand._

" _Raphael's father…"It's all she manages and instantly, Richard's hand is on her shoulder._

" _He's suing me for sole custody,"_

SeaTac Airport:

"Seattle's so cool!" Mason Warner Freedman may be 13 years old, but he is still a kid that's fascinated by cool scenery.

"Mama, can we play with Henry in the snow?" Caroline is jumping up and down at Charlotte's side; she's really excited to see Henry and Addison.

"We'll have to see Caroline," Charlotte's voice is almost dismissive but carries enough of that 'mommy-ness' that it appeases her daughter. Her eyes are trained on Amelia Shepherd, who is standing less than three feet away from her mother.

"You think she'll be okay?" Naomi asks as she too watches the young neurosurgeon reunite with her family.

"I hope so; you talked to Montgomery lately?"

"She hasn't been taking my calls…or anyone's calls lately," Naomi says with a sigh as Charlotte shakes her head.

"We sure could use her back at the practice, it's not exactly falling apart but-"

"I don't think Addison's coming back; in fact, I don't think LA was ever a permanent move for Addie,"

"But Jake-"

"She did have Jake, yes, but her heart, her heart, her heart has always been right here in Seattle," Charlotte looks over at Naomi and frowns.

"How's that possible?"

"She got her fresh start here; this is where she found her footing. Plus, Addison's a surgery junkie, she needs blood and guts and cutting people open. She needs the rush of an OR running through her veins,"

"And LA didn't have that?"

"Not the way she needed it; Addison was born to cut. Even if things hadn't…eventually, she'd have made her way back here,"

"What about Jake?"

"Jake wouldn't have liked it but, he would've followed Addison anywhere she wanted to do,"

"I miss him," Charlotte says quietly as Naomi reaches over and squeezes her hand.

"Yeah, me too,"

oOoOo

"So lemme get this straight; you've got three older sisters and your brother Derek. Derek's married to Meredith, but he was married to Addison. He cheated on Addison with Meredith, after she cheated on him with his best friend Mark. Your three sisters have 15 kids between the three of them, not to mention that Derek has two kids of his own, which means you've got 17 nieces and nephews." James and Amelia are at the baggage claim as he tries to run down her entire family tree.

"Yes; Kathleen's the oldest, then there's Nancy, then Liz, then Derek then me," Amelia has leaned forward, is speaking to Colin using sign language that yes, they're almost to Aunt Addie's house and yes, he can spend the night with Henry.

"He's excited to see them huh?" Amelia stands up and looks over at James with a smile.

"He misses them," Amelia says quietly as she locks eyes with one of Nancy's twins, Sidney.

"Sidney Vanessa Alexander, look at you!" Amelia engulfs the girl into a hug.

"Pretty soon I'll be Sidney Greene," Sidney proudly holds a hand out to show off her diamond engagement ring.

"What!? Siddy that's so great, congratulations!" Again, Amelia is hugging the girl tightly; Sidney's always been one of her favorite nieces.

"I've missed you, Aunt Amy," Amelia gets a bit emotional at that'; she was so sure that none of her family missed her.

"I've missed you too sweetie, so much! We have got a ton to catch up on!" Amelia laughs as Sidney eyes James and Colin.

"Oh, where are my manners, Sid, lemme introduce you to my boys; Sidney, this is my husband James and my son Colin. Guys, this is Sidney, Nancy's daughter," Sidney gives James a warm smile but it's Colin she's got her eyes on.

"Aunt Amy, I still can't believe you had a kid! And he's so adorable! Hi, Colin, I'm Sidney," and once again, Amelia is brought to tears when Sidney uses sign language to talk to Colin.

"Uncle Derek and Aunt Addie, they told us about him; he's beautiful Aunt Amy,"

"He most certainly is," Amelia looks up at the sound of her mother's voice and for a second, time stands still. Nobody moves, nobody breathes as Amelia stands there watching her mother.

"Amelia Marie Shepherd, is that any way to greet your mother?" Carolyn is wearing a huge heartwarming grin on her face before opening her arms to Amelia, who readily rushes into them. For a few moments, mother and daughter stand there hugging each other, silently crying over things they've lost, over time that they've lost.

"You must be James, I'm Nancy, Amelia's sister," James is blinked out of his thoughts of how much he loves his wife when someone approaches him.

"I've heard about you; nice to finally meet you," He gives Nancy's hand a shake; it's a firm one, Nancy likes that.

"I hear you've been taking very good care of my baby sister and my nephew," Nancy smiles warmly at Colin, giving him a little wave.

"I have; she's a wonderful woman and Colin is..."

"An incredibly special child from what Addie's told me; how is she, by the way?" Nancy glances over at Amelia and her mother still hugging, still making small talk; they need that.

"We haven't heard much from her; she called Amelia on her wedding day, sent a letter by Derek but, we haven't heard from her," Nancy nods slowly.

"So, what can you tell me about Jake's family?"

"They're nice people; Jake was a really nice guy. He loved Addison and he sure as hell loved Henry,"

"Did he make her happy?"

"Their relationship wasn't without its ups and downs but, every time I saw them, they looked like they were madly in love. I like to think they would've stayed that way until…"

"Good, that's good; I'm glad she found happiness. I just hate that it was taken away from her so soon,"

"Yeah, we all do,"

oOo

Dinner smells heavenly…but the room isn't big enough.

"Don't worry Addison, we'll figure this out somehow," Bailey knows how important this holiday is to her, not just because it's the first major one without Jake, but because she has her entire family coming.

"We could rent out Joe's," Mark suggests as Addison turns to look at him as though he's grown a third head.

"Yes Mark, because having children in a bar on Thanksgiving is a _wonderful_ idea," her voice is dripping with sarcasm but then she realizes Mark is serious, especially after he whips out his cell phone.

"Hey, Joe, it's Dr. Sloan; yeah, listen I need a huge favor. How many people you got in your bar right now? Less than 20? Good; Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Shepherd's entire family are coming for Thanksgiving and she, or, well, I was hoping that you'd be a sport and let us host Thanksgiving dinner at the bar? I know it's an inconvenience but, I can give you two grand if you let us rent the place for a couple of hours? Yes, Stevens is making dinner; you're in? That's great, thanks, Joe," Mark looks at Addison with a triumphant smile.

"See? Problem solved,"

"You just offered Joe two thousand-"

"Which I'm going to pay him,"

"Mark, I can't let you-"

"It's a good thing I don't listen to you isn't it?" Mark is full on grinning at her.

"Change of venue people, we're moving this party to Joe's!" Mark shouts.

 _Chapter 21 to follow…_

* * *

 **I apologize for the long interruption between chapters. Real life has been hectic, seeing as I'm FINALLY preparing to finish up college/university and get my degree. Thank you all so much for being patient with me. As I said when we started this journey; this is a slow burn, and we've only scratched the surface. I'm slowly unfolding drama, such as Raphael's father suing Addison for joint custody. That's gonna get tricky by the way; we also have yet to get to the moment where Addison identifies Jake's body-that scene is gonna be brutal, so have tissues ready. I know there are a few characters people wanna see, like what exactly is going on with Izzie and Alex and will they get back together, and whether or not Alex will end up with Jo. If I don't address that in this story, I promise to put those stories into my very large Grey's Anatomy Anthology of one shots. Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter; I tried to go light on the angst and sadness. The next chapter will be somewhat light since everyone is about to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner. Again, I'm so happy that you all have decided to stick with me as I work on this piece. This is my last week of undergrad classes, so after that, I should have tons more time to update this piece along with my other Grey's Anatomy stories and my Once Upon a Time fic.**

 **I do hope you all enjoy, and be on the lookout for chapter 21 real soon!**

 **Take Care,**

 **Xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**I know, I've been away forever it seems like. I feel like I owe you guys a sort of explanation about caused me to stay away from this story for nearly two months. Well for starters, I (finally) graduated from college (yay!)…and since then, life has been moving at warp speed. I've been working nonstop, I've had several mini emotional breakdowns due to stress, anxiety, and my eating disorder, I'm looking for a post-college job, I'm starting to apply to graduate schools (Northwestern, USC, and Simmons College, and Alabama A &M University), and most recently I lost a very close cousin at the age of 19 due to a horrible motorcycle accident. **

**I haven't really been in a writing mood, to be honest; life's been too complicated, painful, and hectic to focus my energy on almost anything, let alone writing. Sure, I've worked on a few things here and there but nothing that's ready to be uploaded. If you're still reading and following this story, I appreciate you for sticking with me through my annoyingly long update periods. I really like this story; it's perhaps one of the most original pieces I've done in a while. It's also REALLY huge in terms of plotting and figuring out where these characters are going and how to add in new characters and deal with their emotions while somehow keeping this an ensemble piece.**

 **I can't say how long this story will be or where it will end; I'm letting this story grow and move organically. Also, I've decided that while I won't be doing a sequel, I will have a companion piece that gives us insight into the other characters from both Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. That story will mostly be short pieces, like an anthology if you will.**

 **Anywho, I apologize for the long author's note and the wait; here's chapter 21.**

* * *

Manacapuru, Brazil-Six Months Ago

 _Damien and Noah stand back and watch as Addison promptly breaks down walking through Angela's house. Of course, they expected this; she's notorious for holding it together until she can't anymore. It's painful for them to be there as well; Jake was their friend long before he met Addison. They remember when he was with Lily, through the good and the bad. It's even more painful for Damien because he was Angela's unofficial godfather, having known Lily longer than he'd known Jake._

" _You okay man?" Noah glances over at him, pretending not to notice as he wipes away tears._

" _Yeah, I'm good," Damien sniffles, taking a deep breath before turning his attention back to Addison._

" _Can I, can I take this, please?" She's holding Jake's coat in her arms, inhaling his scent for what she's sure will be her last time._

 _Angela's landlord nods, keeping a respectful enough distance as Addison continues to wander around the house. It's easy to sense the laughter, the daily routines, and the love; it's most definitely easy to sense the love._

" _When can I see Isabella and Raphael?" Addison turns her attention to Richard, who looks to have been on a very important phone call._

" _That was the orphanage; you'll have to prove that you're family, that they're American citizens. Otherwise, they'll be wards of the state," Addison sighs heavily but straightens her posture as she nods._

" _I'll have my lawyers fax over whatever legal documents you need; can you take me to them?" Richard nods, whipping out his cell phone, presumably to inform the orphanage of their plans._

" _I have to call my father, and then call my lawyers can you guys uh…I wanna take Jake's things with me and, I'm gonna need stuff for Raphael and Isabella so um…" Damien nods, stepping forward to place a hand on Addison's shoulder._

" _Whatever you need, go; make the calls necessary to get them home, all of them,"_

oOo

Derek Shepherd does a headcount; there are nearly 70 people coming to his and Meredith's house. Immediately, he begins to panic about how he's going to fit all of these people into his living room. Thankfully, Mark sends him a text,

 _Change of plans; bring everyone to Joe's. I gave him 2 grand to let us rent out his bar for a couple of hours._

He quickly sends Mark and thank you text and promises to buy him all the drinks he wants when they arrive at Joe's.

"So, what's the plan? Because it's clear that all of these people can't fit into you and Meredith's house," Jackson Avery is standing next to him; Derek is looking down at the small boy trailing behind him.

"Oh, by the way, this is-"

"Colin, Amelia's son; I know," Derek crouches down onto the boy's level.

"Colin, are you ready to see Henry?" Colin eagerly nods; aside from knowing sign language, he's also fairly good a lip reading, understands the name 'Henry' anywhere.

"Let's get going then," Derek easily hoists the boy onto his hip and stands.

"You never did answer my question," Jackson is standing there, eyebrows raised.

"Oh, right; apparently, Mark paid Joe two thousand dollars for us to rent out his bar for a couple of hours," Jackson shakes his head and chuckles.

"Only Mark Sloan,"

Los Angeles-Six Months Ago

 _Addison's beach house feels…quiet now that she's gone and Jake is... Amelia has been staying here, her and Colin, with Henry to give him some sense of normalcy while Addison, Noah, and Damien went to South America to retrieve Angela and Jake's bodies, along with Angela's two kids Raphael and Isabella. In a surprising twist, Archer and The Captain have been staying at the house as well._

 _Today, the house is bustling with visitors; Naomi and Sam, who come over and check on Amelia, Henry, and Colin regularly, are there along with Betsy and Mason, Caroline, Rachael, and Lucas. The children are happily frolicking out on the beach under Violet's supervision._

" _Have you spoken to Addison about arrangements?" Naomi is holding her son EJ on her hip; he's having a hard time going down for a nap._

" _No, not really; but I talked to two funeral homes; Forest Lawn and Hillside Memorial Park over in Culver City," Archer has been surprisingly helpful in the planning process._

" _I think we should let Addison decide," Naomi suggests as Archer scoffs._

" _Honestly, I'm surprised Addison didn't have this already planned out,"_

" _He's right; she did with Derek," Amelia points out as Naomi sighs._

" _I'm well aware of that but, I think with Jake Addie wanted to…live life a bit freer,"_

Four Years, One Month Ago

" **Just over a month until you're married huh?" Naomi is grinning as she looks at her friend's very nice engagement ring as they sit in her office one afternoon.**

" **Yep, this is, this is the real thing Nae," Addison is grinning from ear to ear, something she hasn't seen her friend do in a very long time.**

" **I'm happy for you Addison; Jake is a good man,"**

" **He is, so much that, I've decided not to do that whole 'in case something happens' thing I usually do," Naomi raises an eyebrow in concern.**

" **You mean you're not getting a prenup or-"**

" **No; I'm not worried that something will happen to us or between us. I don't wanna live in what ifs or plan for some unforeseeable tragedy that I'm not even sure when or how it will happen,"**

" **So you don't have a will?"**

" **Yes and no," Naomi's frown deepens at that.**

" **This is just crazy talk because the Addison I know-"**

" **With all due respect Nae, the Addison you knew never would've pursued your ex-husband; hell, the Addison you knew would still be living in New York married to Derek," Naomi is silent at that because it's true; the Addison she** _ **knew**_ **, not the Addison sitting in front of her now.**

" **You're, you're right; I guess I just, forgot how much time has passed between us, that's all," Addison smiles softly at her friend and gives her hands a squeeze.**

" **Jake and I will eventually settle down and talk about those things, like who would get custody of Henry if something should happen to the both of us, where we'll be buried, but right now, we just want to live in the moment and not…think of anything bad that could happen. I know you think I'm crazy what with all of the terrible things that have been happening, that are happening around us but, life is, too damn short to spend it planning on how you want to die. Besides, Jake and I are the last people you'd have to worry about getting into a freak accident." Addison laughs as Naomi chuckles alongside her.**

" **You're right, I like this new, carpe diem Addison; maybe I should try that someday,"**

" **Yeah, maybe you should,"**

Los Angeles:

" _So you're telling me that Addison and Jake had no life insurance policies, no will, no power of attorney…nothing?" Charlotte is completely floored; with the way Addison runs the practice she'd be so sure that Montgomery ran her personal life that way as well._

" _As far as I know, no; I know that when she and Jake had Henry christened they chose Amelia as and Callie Torres as his godmothers, but aside from that, no, I don't think they had anything planned out," Naomi said with a sigh._

" _It's my mother's fault," Everyone looks up at Archer's statement._

" _I remember Addie and I talking not long after Bizzy died; she hated how meticulous everything was when Bizzy died. I mean, the woman had a guest list for her funeral for God's sakes. There was something about that that just…unsettled Addison. She said she didn't want her death to be that orderly. She said that the people who knew her best would know what she wanted,"_

" _So you're saying we should, what exactly?" Sam is coming down the stairs from finally getting EJ settled into his nap._

" _If Addison were here, what would she want done?"_

" _Well for starters, she'd use Forest Lawn; it suits the Montgomery taste, plus I think that she'd think that Jake would like it, which he most likely would," Amelia is sitting quietly on the couch, her feet tucked underneath her as she watches the children play in the water._

" _You knew Jake pretty well; would he want a small funeral, or a large one?" Charlotte moves to sit next to Amelia, wrapping an arm around her shoulder._

" _Knowing both Jake and Addison as well as I do, I think they would do something in between; something with just enough flare for the Montgomery name, but something small; an intimate for Jake's sake,"_

" _So, we're going with Forest Lawn then?" Archer is already on the phone with someone from the funeral home, moving into the next room, speaking in hushed tones._

" _I'll make a few calls to…oh, wait, Addison's calling," The Captain moves to the other side of the room to take the call._

" _Is it me or are we just…letting them take over?" Sam has moved to stand next to Naomi, Charlotte, and Amelia on the couch._

" _They're not taking over Sam, they're just, trying to be useful, which is saying a lot for Archer and The Captain. I was almost convinced they wouldn't show," Naomi mutters just as both Archer and The Captain reemerge from their perspective phone calls._

" _That was Addison,"_

" _Well, what did she say?" Archer is waiting expectantly._

" _It turns out they've run into a little snag; Amelia, Addison said you know where she keeps all of her important paperwork like her marriage license, Henry's birth certificate…" Amelia stands and nods._

" _Yeah, she keeps them in a safe in her office, why was she-"_

" _Apparently, she's going to have to show proof that she's legally Jake's wife and that Angela was his daughter before they'll give her Angela's children; she said it's standard protocol,"_

" _I can grab whatever she needs," With that, Amelia heads into Addison's office._

" _Do you all know if she has a fax machine? There are several documents that need to be faxed over to-"_

" _Uh no, but there's one at the practice that you're more than welcome to use; I can drive you over there if you'd like?" Sam is immediately grabbing his keys and The Captain quickly follows._

" _I'm gonna go with them; I'm gonna need to speak with their coroner's office about who they should release the body to and whatnot," With that, he gives the two remaining ladies a head nod before walking out the front door._

" _Is it me or does he seem…"_

" _Like a compassionate human being?" Naomi can easily read Charlotte's thoughts, seeing as they'd both slept with Archer._

" _It's Addison; she's the only person who can make him appear even remotely human,"_

" _Well, nice to see that her charm works on even the most uncivilized of folks,"_

Manacapuru

 _Addison hangs up the phone after several long minutes of talking to her father, her brother, Amelia and Sam. Once they're all gone, she runs a hand through her hair and sighs heavily, briefly closing her eyelids for a second._

" _You okay Addison?"_

" _Yeah, they were uh, making arrangements," She looks like she's in a daze of some sort; Noah and Damien chalk it up to the shock of losing Jake._

" _Do we need to-"_

" _No, no. Archer is handling everything; he's already called the funeral home, back in Los Angeles. They uh, went with um Forest Lawn, said it seemed like the best choice, one that Jake and I would both like," There's the faintest of smiles on her face when she speaks._

" _Mrs… ?" Angela's landlord has poked his head back into the living room._

" _Yes?"_

" _Your car is ready; and I'm sorry, for your loss…your daughter she was, a very nice young lady. I didn't talk much to your husband except for when he first got here; he said you two had a son,"_

" _Yes, his name is Henry, and he's four," Addison's voice is in a whisper and her eyes are watery._

" _He mentioned that too, said he was lucky to have you as a mother; your husband seemed like a good man," The landlord gently pats Addison on the shoulder before murmuring his condolences one last time._

" _Thank you, for your kindness," The landlord simply nods and carefully makes his way through the apartment._

" _You okay, Addison?" She blinks rapidly at him, as though she were in some far off place._

" _Yeah, yeah I'm…I'll be fine," Damien and Noah share a look of concern though neither of them says anything to Addison._

" _You ready to go?" Noah places a gentle hand on her shoulder as she looks around the house one last time._

" _Yeah, let's go get my family,"_

 _Chapter 22 to follow…_

* * *

 **Again, I apologize for the long wait; I've already created a word doc for chapter 22, hopefully I'll have time this week to start working on it.**


	22. Chapter 22

**So I noticed that I've screwed up the dates on a few things; I always do that because this story is, for the most part, off-the-dome. To be clear, the story begins in May and we backtrack through several time periods. As to when Jake and Angela died, they died somewhere towards the end of April, leading into May. I think I referenced this in an earlier chapter but Izzie and Alex's twins are no more than 6 or so. I also changed the images for Jake's family as well as Derek's family. I'll list those changes at the end of the chapter. I'm so grateful to everyone who's still reading this story…I just realized this story will turn one year old on July 12. That makes this update all the more special.**

 **Happy Reading!**

 **Xx**

* * *

This wasn't how she planned on spending her Thanksgiving. She's standing in Joe's, Isabella on her hip as she watches Callie, Bailey, Izzie, Alex, Mark, and Owen scurry around to get the bar looking like something. They're putting tables together while Preston Burke, Meredith, April Kepner, and Jo are keeping the children entertained, which is a good thing.

"You okay Dr. Montgomery?" Joe's hand is gently on her shoulder as she turns to look at him.

"Uh, yeah, Joe, I just…this isn't how I'm used to spending my holiday's. The last time I spent a holiday in your bar Derek was telling me that he was in love with Meredith," Joe cringes in sympathy.

"I think I remember that; but this time, it's different,"

"Yeah, this time I'm here as a widow with three small children," Addison nods down at Isabella.

"Y'know, I almost lost Walter a couple of years ago," Addison looks at Joe in confusion.

"Car accident; I wasn't sure how I was going to pick up the pieces if I'd lost him,"

"How'd you make it?" She knows that Walter is alive; he's talking to Cristina Yang, but Joe knows how she feels, sort of.

"I leaned on my family, my work, this bar. I know it doesn't even begin to compare to what you're dealing with but, you've got a lot of people who care about you and your kids coming together to spend the holidays with. I think that's something worth being thankful for," Joe gives her a smile and gently squeezes her shoulder before heading back to the bar to make sure the bar is stocked with drinks for everyone.

"Dr. Montgomery?" Addison turns her head to look at him.

"You're still a fan of red wine, right? Cabernet?"

"Thanks, Joe,"

"Anytime, hang in there,"

Manacapuru-6 months ago

 _The drive to the orphanage is quiet; Addison is still holding Jake's leather jacket in her hands, gently rubbing her fingers over the material. It's nearing dusk by the time they arrive; they spent a large part of the day sorting through Angela's things, gathering things for the children as well as signing paperwork about Angela's place. The process seemed to flow smoothly once people found out Addison was a Forbes Montgomery and a world class surgeon. The coroner had performed autopsies, but Addison was still required to come down to the morgue for proper identification. Damien and Noah packed up almost everything in Angela's apartment. Money makes things move faster._

 _Within an hour's time, there were movers breaking down the furniture and putting it into a moving van where it would be presumably shipped back to the states along with the children's things. They only thing that remained beside's Jake's coat was a small suitcase of clothes for the children. The sun is setting once the car stops; the sky is painted with light pinks and purples with the slightest hint of orange. Addison carefully steps out of the car, glancing around at the rather small and slightly dilapidated building. She takes a careful breath before making her way inside. Damien and Noah offer to come inside with her but she insists on doing this on her own. Richard accompanies her inside because he knows how these things work, acting as her buffer._

 _When they step inside the building they are greeted by the faces of smiling children. Addison's heart aches for them. They are of all ages; their clothes torn and ratty but somehow they are smiling, grinning toothless grins. They barely make it down the hall before they're greeted by a heavy set woman. She looks to be no older than Addison, or at least around her age. While she's heavyset, she's still beautiful; she's brown skinned with thick dark hair that's pulled into a thick braid around her head. Addison doesn't notice the once over she gives her before stepping forward to greet them._

" _We're here about the children from the accident earlier today," Richard steps forward and shakes the woman's hand. Her name is Blanca, she informs Addison; her accent is beautiful, nothing like the stereotypical Latino accent she's used to in America. It's thick and she rolls her r's but there's a regalness and poise to her voice that makes Addison smile. Of course, Blanca finds it to be suspicious that a White woman is coming to claim two Latino children. Still, she doesn't argue when Richard presents her with the necessary documentation and photos to prove that Addison is who she says she is._

" _I'm so sorry, for your loss," Addison nods once; she's already grown tired condolences._

" _Thank you,"_

" _The children are this way, follow me; the boy, he is quite shaken up. From what I am told, he saw his mother as they carried her away. The baby is, of course, oblivious, though when around her brother, her senses are heightened," Addison's heart breaks into a million pieces; she knows what happened to Jake and Angela and can imagine how gruesome a scene that must have been for Raphael to see._

 _They are led up a set of rickety stairs and down a small hallway to what appears to be a bedroom. Isabella is sitting in a crib playing with blocks, unaware of Addison's presence. Raphael is sitting on a small cot where a young woman no more than Angela's age is holding him, reading a book to him. Instantly, she recognizes the book; she gave it to him the last time he visited the states; Goodnight Moon._

 _Blanca clears her throat and instructs the young woman in Spanish, causing her to look up at Addison._

" _Raphael, look who it is," the young woman extends a hand and points at Addison._

 _For a second, the room is silent as Raphael stares at Addison for a few moments._

" _Raphael, do you know this woman?" Blanca has made quick strides across the room to sit next to him._

" _Raphael…" It only takes a split second before he's jumping down from the other woman's lap and running into Addison's arms. He's crying and mumbling about what happened; Addison says nothing, she simply wraps her arms around him and does her best to soothe him. She pulls back to look at him, moreso to hear what he'd been mumbling into her shirt._

" _What did you say, sweetheart?"_

" _I was scared; mama went to the water and she didn't come back," Addison bites her lip and does her best not to cry as she pulls Raphael closer._

" _I'm scared too but y'know what? You and Isabella are gonna come home with me and stay with me and Henry, how's that sound?" She's lightly bouncing him on her hip like she used to do Henry when he was upset; she gently wipes away his tears._

" _I don't like it here," He's a little whiney and appears to be sleepy if the way he's rubbing at his eyes is any indicator._

" _I know you don't honey, that's why you and Isabella are gonna come home with me, is that okay with you?" Raphael looks up at her and it's like she's been sucker punched in the gut; his eyes remind her so much of Jake._

" _Would you like to go home with me?" Raphael buries his face in her shirt and nods, clinging even tighter to her._

" _I'll get the necessary paperwork for you to sign; it may take a while to get it all filled out," Blanca has stood, making her way towards the door; the other woman has picked Isabella up out of the crib and is now following Blanca._

 _Addison simply nods and follows her out of the room and back down the stairs to begin the proper paperwork to take the children back to the states._

SeaTac Airport

It's taken a while due to baggage claim, but everyone is finally making their way out of the airport. The air is crisp and the sky is pitch-black with flitters light from the stars. Everyone is pulling their coats tighter around them due to the deep chill in the air.

"So, there's been a change of plans; we're not going back to my place. Mark rented out a bar near the hospital," Of course the women are staring at Derek with deep frowns and begin to protest and question.

"This was a last minute thing, we weren't counting on this many people and with it being so cold out-"

"Wait a second, the only bar I know near the hospital is Joe's," Amelia's eyes are full of amusement.

"That's the bar; but again, we're only going there because my house isn't big enough to hold both Jake's family, my family, everyone from Addison's practice, and all of our friends from the hospital, that's about 100 people," There is a murmuring among the group but in the end, Derek's mother steps forward.

"Well, as long as this bar is a nice, clean place that's safe for the children, what's the harm? We're all here to be with Addie, right?" There a general consensus from the crowd which causes Derek to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Alright then, let's get loaded up into the vans and get to Joe's!" It takes about 20 minutes but, the vans are pulling out of the parking lot of the airport and headed to the bar.

Seattle-6 Months Ago

" _How are you holding up man?" Derek stands beside Mark as they stare at the surgical board that afternoon. It's been three days since they learned about Jake's death. No one has heard from Addison, all they know is that she's in South America making arrangements to bring Jake and Angela home._

" _I still can't believe it," Mark's voice is gruff._

" _Yeah, me either; I can't imagine how Addie's feeling," Derek shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the surgical board._

" _I talked to her," Derek turns his head to listen to Mark._

" _What?"_

" _Addison; Torres told me, the day after. I called her, she picked up the phone; the way she said my name…I can't get it out of my head,"_

" _Yeah, I talked to her too; this is…she's gonna need us,"_

" _I'm not getting on a plane Derek," Derek chuckled, patting his friend on the back._

" _I was thinking of driving down, you, me, and Callie," Mark turns to face Derek._

" _You know the only reason I'm going is because of her, right?" Derek is still smiling._

" _That's the only reason any of us are going Mark; Addison is family to all of us," Mark nods and for the first time since his own father's funeral, Derek sees his best friend shed a tear._

" _I love her, I know she's moved on and I had Lexie but…"_

" _I know, it's hard not to still love her, and it's okay. We've been divorced nearly 10 years and there's a part of me that still loves her. She's been our best friend for over 20 years, that's a lot of history, no matter the bad stuff that's happened," Mark lets out a gruff reply in agreement._

" _She's in South America," Derek sighs once more._

" _Yeah, I know,"_

" _That's gonna change her, she's gonna have to identify them,"_

 _There's a long moment of silence as Derek as he's taken back to the day of his father's death. He and Amelia were in the store when it happened. He still remembers holding a hand over her mouth, of the way she pushed past him once the bell to their father's store jingled, signaling that the assailants had fled the scene. He still remembers standing on shaky legs, running into the tiny mass that was Amelia's tiny body. The thought of seeing blood running from his father's chest, of seeing his brain splattered on the ground still haunts him today, all these years later. He can only imagine how bad it'll be for Addison when she sees Jake and Angela. Of course, they'll be cleaned up and presentable as possible. But he knows Addison, she'll want to examine them herself, to see the wounds for herself, to try and piece together just what killed them._

" _Yeah, I know," This time, Mark reaches over and pats Derek on the shoulder, understanding where his mind went._

" _I wish I'd been there that day, but-"_

" _No, that's nothing you would've wanted to see Mark; Amy's mind has essentially blocked it out. She barely remembers it,"_

" _The joy of being that young," Mark shakes his head, thinking back to his mother's death when he was 12. Of course, she'd died in a hospital, but that pain doesn't go anywhere._

" _You talked to Amy?"_

" _No, not since the other day, why?"_

" _When you do and they've made arrangements, let me know and I'll be ready,"_

oOoOo

Mark is supposed to be helping Alex, Owen, and Ben put together tables but his eyes are trained on Addison.

"Dude, just go talk to her already," Alex rolls his eyes at him.

"Is it that obvious?" Mark grins sheepishly as the other men nod in agreement.

"I would but…I don't know, she's got so much going on," Ben gives him a pat on the shoulder.

"I feel like I've known both you and Addison long enough to say this: something's going to happen between the two of you. It's obvious to everyone that you've still got feelings for her,"

Mark is silent because Ben is right; he does feel something for her, but their past is painful and complicated. She was the wife of his best friend, she aborted their child, he also cheated on her and then tried to convince him to help him raise Sloane's baby with him. They've damaged one another too much. Plus, there's the even bigger issue: his feelings for Lexie.

Lexie made him a better man, but there's something that continues to draw him to Addison. He likes to think it's his self-loathing, self-destructive streak. Still, they had that moment a few weeks ago, though nothing sexual happened, mostly because he knew she wasn't ready and to be honest, he wasn't either. If he's honest, he's not sure he'll ever be ready to love anyone again, at least, not the way he loves (loved) Lexie. He chalks it up to her knowing the pain he feels from the way she lost Jake. He thinks back to a conversation he and Derek had months ago; no matter what their history, it's virtually impossible not to love Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery. Hell, even Naomi managed to forgive her after she a year-and-a-half relationship with her ex-husband.

"Stop thinking so hard and go talk to her," Ben gives him an encouraging pat on the back before going back to work on putting the tables together before everyone else get here.

Apparently, Addison felt his eyes on her, because she's walking towards him, Isabella on her hip. She looks so natural, carrying a child on her hip like that; Isabella looks comfortable with her.

"Do you know when Derek is supposed to be getting here?" Mark stares at her for a few moments, causing Addison to frown at him.

"Mark, what's wrong?" He can't stop staring at her, can't stop his heart from racing.

"I…nothing Addison; Derek said they should-" Mark doesn't get to finish his sentence; Amelia's son Colin is barreling into Addison's leg. Almost immediately, Henry is rushing towards him, engulfing the boy into a bear hug.

"Colin! I missed you!" Colin grins up at him before he's pulled over into the children's corner.

"Mark Sloan," Mark is jarred from his thoughts at the sound of Carolyn Shepherd's voice.

"Mama Shepherd," His grin is real when he hugs her, though he doesn't miss the way Addison is eyeing him as she hugs Amelia.

He mouths the words 'We'll talk later' as Addison nods; he doesn't get the chance to talk to her. Everyone else is so busy trying to talk to her, to see how she's doing.

If he's honest, he's glad he doesn't get to talk to her because he's not sure if she'd like what he has to say.

 _Chapter 23 to follow…_

* * *

 **Don't worry, I'm not about to thrust Addison into a romantic relationship with Mark when it's only been 6 months since Jake died. I feel good about where we are; we're getting close to the big chapter-Jake's funeral. I feel like if I can get to that point, then the flashbacks will be minimal and I can focus on the present and really start driving the plot.**

 **Oh, before I forget, here's the revised list of Shepherds and Reilly's:**

Carolyn Maloney Shepherd ( **Tyne Daily** ) age 75; born 1942

Kathleen Billingsly ( **Amanda Peete** ) (age 54; born 1963)

James Billingsly( **Paul Rudd** ) age 53; born 1964

Noah James Billingsly ( **Cody Christian** )age 27

Laura Maureen Billingsly ( **Allison Brie** ) age 25

Julie Christine Billingsly ( **Lily Collins** ) age 25

Kaitlyn 'Katie' Morgan Billingsly ( **Alexandra Chando** ) age 19

Nancy Alexander ( **Embeth Davidtz** ) (age 53; born 1964)

Mitchell "Mitch" Alexander ( **Julian McMahon** ) age 55; born 1962

Lydia Carolyn Alexander ( **Mary Elizabeth Winstead** ) age 28

Jessica 'Jessa/Jess' Leslie Elaine Alexander ( **Alicia Vikander** ) age 26

Cassidy 'Casey' Alexander ( **Minka Kelly** ) age 24

Sidney Vanessa Alexander ( **Leighton Meester** ) age 24

Shepherd 'Shep' Grayson Alexander ( **Graham Phillips** ) age 21

Elizabeth 'Liz/Lizzie' Peterson ( **Neve Campbell** ) (age 52; born 1965)

Andrew "Andy" Peterson ( **JJ Fields)** age 53 born 1964

Ethan Fitzgerald Peterson ( **Joe Collier** ) age 23

Jason Derek Christopher Peterson ( **Logan Lerman** ) age 20

Christian 'Blake' Peterson ( **Shane Morgan Siegel** )age 19

Lucy 'Deena' Peterson ( **Katharine Langford** ) age 17

Stephanie 'Grace' Peterson ( **Landry Bender** ) age 16

Rosalita Reilly-Sanchez ( **Salma Hayek** ) age 45 (born 1972)

Patrick Sanchez ( **Esai Morales** ) age 47 (born 1970)

Mariana Sanchez ( **Ivana Baquero** ) age 26

Giselle Sanchez ( **Ronni Hawk** ) age 24

Nina Sanchez ( **Kira Kosarin** ) age 21

Gloriana Sanchez ( **Vanessa Merrell** ) age 17

Gabrielle Sanchez ( **Veronica Merrell** ) 17

Isabel Reilly ( **Alice Braga** ) age 43(born 1974)

Tony Marquez-( **Peter Gadiot** ) age 44 (1973)

Manny Marquez-( **Isaak Presley)** (age 15)

Lucia Marquez- **Dayrin Martinez** (age 13)

Maria Reilly- **Roselyn Sanchez** age 39 (age 1978)

Benny Martinez- **Jake T. Austin** (age 15)

Chanel Reilly- **Kayla Henry** (age 12)

Esme Reilly- **Ariana Greenblat** (age 9)


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry this update has taken me so long, life got in the way. But hey, this is the perfect update, especially since its set during Thanksgiving and today is Thanksgiving in the U.S.**

 **Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it!**

 **Xx**

* * *

Addison is all smiles as she watches her family, well, the rest of her family as they all converge into Joe's. She's still standing there, Isabella on her hip as her eyes scan the room, unconsciously looking for Jake. She quickly swipes a stray tear when she thinks no one is looking.

"It's okay to cry you know; we miss him too," Rosie gives Addison a smile before wordlessly asking if she can hold Isabella.

"She's a bit fussy; I just realized that she's cutting more teeth," Surprisingly, Isabella goes to Rosie willingly.

"Poor thing; how've you and Henry been holding up?" Rosie is gently swaying Isabella back and forth, her eyes trained on Addison.

"Sometimes, it's hard; I can't get over it, y'know? Jake and I never planned for something like this," Addison swallows the lump in her throat as Rosie reaches out to squeeze her hand.

"Hey, it's just like I told you at the funeral; you don't have to go through this alone," Addison nods, unable to speak due to the overwhelming emotion that falls over her.

Santa Julia, South America

 _Addison decides to go to the morgue alone; Noah and Damien volunteer to go with her but no, she needs to do this alone. They begrudgingly agree to stay with the children (after Addison got them settled of course) while she goes. She needs to see them, to break down on her own (Montgomery's aren't allowed to grieve in public) to see Jake and know, really know that he's dead. She needs to see Angela, touch her face to know that she too is gone. It feels like a bad dream; she's lost half of her family with a single phone call._

" _Dr. Montgomery, we're here," She looks up at the sound of Richard's voice as their eyes connect through the rearview mirror. The hospital is located in Santa Julia because Manacapuru has no hospitals._

 _From what she was told, they were taken to a local clinic once they were taken out of the water. They did everything they could for them during preparation to transport them to the hospital. Sadly, Angela was dead when they pulled them out of the water and Jake succumbed just before they got to the hospital. Addison takes a calming breath as Richard opens her door. When she steps outside of the car and looks up at the old, debilitating building she sighs. It's nothing like the hospitals at home and suddenly she's angry. She's angry that this country, that this place isn't better equipped. It makes her wonder how many other people have died due to lack of proper medical and attention._

" _Dr. Montgomery?" Richard's hand is on her shoulder and it brings her back to reality._

 _Right, she's here to identify the bodies of her husband and stepdaughter._

" _I'm okay," She takes a steadying breath before strolling into the hospital._

Seattle:

Joe's bar definitely does not look like a bar anymore.

The room is filled with a different kind of ambiance, gone is the smell of alcohol and debauchery. It has been replaced with the sweet smells of love, home, and good food. The normal tables have been replaced with longer tables, draped in beautiful silk tablecloths. There are flowers and fancy centerpieces. There are candles and fine china; wine glasses and the sound of laughter fills the air.

Addison has to stand back and really look around; there are at least 100 people in the room, various conversations and laughter filling up every space. For the first time since Jake's death she feels whole and complete.

The moment doesn't last long when she looks around for Jake and doesn't find him.

"I didn't know him but, I like to think he'd be pleased with the turnout," She turns her head to find none other than Carolyn Shepherd standing beside her.

"Carolyn," Addison's voice is steady but she's nervous and rightly so; she hasn't seen her ex-mother-in-law in over 10 years.

"It's good to see you Addie," Carolyn's voice is gentle when she speaks and her eyes are full of understanding.

"I never got the chance to say it before but, what happened with Derek and Mark-" Carolyn holds up a hand to stop her.

"Water under the bridge,"

"But I cheated on your son with his best friend,"

"I seem to remember getting a phone call about you finding Meredith's panties in his coat pocket," Addison turns a bright shade of red.

"It doesn't change what I did,"

"Addie, I may not have thought you and Derek were a good fit, but it doesn't change the fact that you're part of my family," The statement takes her completely off guard.

"I know what you did for Amy, what you've done for Amy. She's always been closer to you than any of her other sisters. Maybe it's the age difference, but you, you were always there for her. You gave her a chance when the rest of us had given up on her. You gave her a job, you supported her when she relapsed and you've been there for my beautiful grandson," Carolyn's eyes are misty and understandably so. She's missed out on so much of Amelia's life and Colin's.

"She's a great girl, Carolyn,"

"That she is, and I think she owes a lot that to you. I think after losing their father I sort of let Amy fall through the cracks," Ah, now she gets it; Carolyn wants to talk about what happened with Jake.

"I was with Christopher for 18 years before I lost him; we met while I was in nursing school and he was still in the military. He was a lot like Derek and I, surprisingly I was a lot like you," Addison's eyes raise in shock and surprise.

"Oh yes, I know it's hard to believe but, I was a lot like you. My parents weren't as affluent as yours but, we were pretty well off for the times. Not many girls my age could afford to go to nursing school at the time. I was pretty smart, finished top of my class, found a job right out of nursing school, but by that time Chris and I were married and he didn't really want me to work. But I was strong and independent; I wanted to pull my own weight. It certainly wasn't easy having 3 girls back to back but somehow, we made it work. I thought I was done after Derek but Amy, she surprised me," Addison listens with intent; there's a point to this she knows. That and, Carolyn Shepherd never really shared her life with Addison while she was married to Derek.

"I thought I had forever with him, thought we'd watch Amy grow up together; I thought I'd be the one taking her to get her ears pierced and curling her hair for prom," Addison smiles; she'd be the one to share those special moments with Amelia.

"But losing Chris, it changed me; I became focused more on surviving rather than trying to be there for my children. I thought, who's going to take care of them if I'm somewhere in a corner bawling my eyes out for the rest of my life. So, I had to be strong, and I made my children be strong; but I didn't think about how something like this would affect Amy. If I could do it all over again, I would," Addison simply nods and listens.

"How have you made it?" Carolyn sighs heavily and smiles.

"Sometimes Addie, life happens, and it happens way too fast. Sometimes we think we've got forever, but life comes in as a couple teenage kids dressed in ski masks with guns...sometimes it come as freak accidents. I know this probably doesn't make sense but-" Addison shakes her head, doing her best not to let her tears fall.

"No, no, it does, it does I just…I really thought we had time," She sniffles and swipes at a stray tear.

"I thought so too; it's always worse when we lose them unexpectedly. I can't even begin to understand how hard this is for you. You didn't just lose one person, you lost two and gained two more in the process…you don't have to do this alone Addie. Look around you, there are dozens of people to help you get through this. And if you ever need a hand or some motherly advice or…someone to be your kids, nana, don't hesitate to call," Addison turns to Carolyn, completely floored. She blinks away the tears that have made her vision blurry.

"Carolyn, I…"

"You don't have to say anything; I know you and your mother didn't have the greatest relationship and Jake lost his mother when he was young. Nana's come in handy y'know," Carolyn gives her a smile before reaching out to squeeze her hands.

"But I-"

"Water under the bridge; I forgave Mark didn't I? Besides, I have to find some kind of way to repay you for looking after my Amy all these years," And this time Addison can't help it; fat tears fall down her cheeks and Carolyn is there to envelope her into a hug.

"And hey, don't you be afraid to give me a call sometimes; not only do I know a thing or two about being a nana, I also know quite a bit about losing a husband,"

oOoOo

By the time dinner is over some three hours later, Addison finds herself standing outside of Joe's simply looking up at the sky. Dinner was lovely; Izzie Stevens truly outdid herself with the food. It wasn't as bad or as somber as she'd expected it to be; there was of course a looming sense of sadness, but they still managed to enjoy themselves. She's been worried about Henry, especially after his little outburst at Meredith's house. He seems to be doing okay; he's laughed and smiled a lot more since everyone got here.

"You think too much," Addison turns to find Amelia walking outside to stand next to her.

"It's what I do," Addison shrugs lightly as Amelia wraps an arm around her waist and rests her head on her shoulder.

"I'm happy for you Amy,"

"I know; I miss having you right next door," Addison decided not to sell her house. Instead, she decided to let people rent it out for various vacations and holiday's through an Air B&B. She generates good money off of it, not that she needs it.

"Y'know, you guys could all just move here to Seattle," Amelia chuckles.

"Derek could not handle his entire family in the same city,"

"Hey, he's managed to survive having both me and Mark in the same city as him, not once but twice,"

"That's different; you three are a package deal," This time, it's Addison's turn to laugh.

"Y'know, you could actually start your own practice here," Amelia suggests.

"Another Seaside? I don't know; it wouldn't be the same as working with you guys,"

"You could always commute back and forth? It's not the same without you Addie," Addison sighs heavily and moves out of Amelia's embrace.

"I know you want me to come back but…I can't, Amelia. Here in Seattle, it feels like I can breathe. It's selfish I know but, looking at all of you, living in my house…the thought of trying to move on in LA after losing Jake seemed suffocating,"

"And moving to Seattle?"

"I finally get what Derek meant when he said moving here was a breath of fresh air. Well, he actually said meeting Meredith was like a breath of fresh air but, being here is…I can breathe. It's still familiar enough to where I'm not utterly and completely alone, but it's far enough from LA that I don't feel like I'm going insane," Amelia moves again to stand next to Addison, reaching out to intertwine their hands.

"Well, looks like I'd better get some frequent flier miles then," Addison chuckles and gives Amelia a hug.

oOoOo

Shortly after her conversation with Amelia, everyone is packing up into their cars and vans to leave Joe's. Henry and Raphael are spending the night with Colin, Caroline, Lucas and Rachel; Henry managed to convince Callie and Meredith to let Sofia and Zola come along as well. Jake's sister's offered to take Isabella for the night.

For the first time in nearly 8 months, Addison is alone, and it's scary.

"You should take advantage of the quiet," Bailey is one of the last ones to leave Joe's.

"I'm actually afraid of what'll happen now that I'm finally alone,"

"You cry, you break a few things, you drink lots of wine and then in the morning you get up and you keep going," Addison smiles and shakes her head at her friend.

" _What I'd_ **really** _love_ is to come in to work and do a couple of surgeries," Bailey shakes her head and chides her friend lightly.

"I've already told you, Alex Karev and Izzie Stevens are taking good care of your department,"

"You know Addie's a surgery junkie Bailey," Derek and Meredith are walking hand in hand out of Joe's.

"Must be a New York thing," Bailey shakes her head and says her goodbyes.

"You've got quite a family Addison," Meredith gives her a smile.

"I know this had to be a lot for you, having Derek's entire family here and Jake's family and everyone from my practice invading your house for Thanksgiving,"

"I'm used to lots of people, during the holidays. Besides, they didn't invade my place, they invaded Joe's" Meredith chuckles.

"I still can't believe Mark paid Joe two grand to rent out this place," Addison shakes her head.

"Remind me to thank Mark for that," Derek says as Meredith turns to look at him, silently communicating something to him.

"Derek," Meredith murmurs.

"Right, so, I know you're probably not gonna like this but…Meredith and I did some talking and, we wanna give you the McDream house," Addison looks at Derek as if he's grown a third head.

"You want me to have the house that you built for Meredith?" Meredith laughs.

"Addison, I know that we may not exactly be that close but, you can't raise three kids in an apartment," Addison frowns.

"Did Mark and Callie talk you guys into doing this, because I can totally buy-"

"Mark and Callie didn't have to talk us into anything," Addison gives Derek a look.

"Okay so, maybe we all talked about it but Addie, it's been 7 months. Your stay in Seattle is pretty permanent to everyone. You need to start thinking about the future…" Derek walks over to his ex wife and places a set of keys in her hand.

"It's a huge step, but you don't have to do it alone," Addison shakes her head slowly.

"Derek…"

"What would Jake say?" And it's a low blow because she knows what Jake would say.

"Jake can't say anything because he's dead," Derek sighs heavily.

"You know that's not what I mean; you can't stay in the apartment forever Addie. It's time,"

Carolyn's words come flooding back to her,

 _I wish I'd had at least half of the support system you had; maybe Amy wouldn't have fallen through the cracks._

She thinks back to Henry's meltdown and caves.

Henry's, she doing this for Henry, and Raphael, and Isabella.

They need this; _she_ needs this, she slowly turns to Meredith needing to know that she's okay with this. This offer is huge considering their messy past.

"And you're okay with this? Him giving his ex wife-"

"His friend, you were his friend long before you were his ex wife. Addison, we're kinda connected; your son is more than likely gonna marry my daughter someday," Addison chuckles at the thought; she's more than likely right.

"Hey, we're not gonna think about Zola growing up to marry anybody. Henry could very well marry Sofia,"

"Derek, she's his godsister," Meredith laughs.

"Stranger things have happened; plus, Henry and Zola are cousins, mom's taken Addie's kids as her grandchildren," Derek argues as the two women in his life shake their heads at him.

"And you're sure about this?" Addison looks between the two of them

"It's not like you're putting us out; I still own my mom's house,"

"Ah yes, the old frat house," Derek teases.

Addison takes a moment to think about it; the house is just the right size for them, it's not far from the hospital and it would give the kids lots more space to run around and play. She'd definitely do some of her own renovations but, it's doable.

"It's ironic that you're giving me Seattle," Addison says to Derek, watching as the irony washes over him.

"I feel like we're in a good enough place to where we can peacefully share Seattle..." Addison nods in agreement.

"I'll take the house…under one condition,"

"What's that?"

"The trailer…has _got_ to go,"

 _Chapter 24 to follow…_

* * *

 **That was a nice, funny chapter don't you think?**

 **Also, I did a re-read so I'm probably gonna go back and fix a LOT of inconsistencies I found in previous chapters. So don't be surprised if you see multiple chapter updates for this story.**

 **Again, I hope those of you in the U.S. who celebrate Thanksgiving have a WONDERFUL day!**

 **Xx**


	24. Chapter 24

**Because it's almost 2018 and because the last time I did an update was on Thanksgiving. This story will now be set in real time from here on out with occasional flashbacks.**

* * *

Christmas Eve:

She'd never imagined that she'd be spending Christmas with three sick children. The cold and flu epidemic has spread to her household and now all three of her children are sick. It's still taking a bit of getting used to, saying that she has three children now but, she's…adjusting. She's surprised herself with how quickly she was able to find a rhythm for the four of them, especially since they've been in the process of moving into Meredith and Derek's old McDream house. They won't be officially moved in for a few more days so they're making due by staying at the Archfield until then.

At least at the Archfield, her sick kids aren't puking on her expensive rugs and she's not responsible for changing soiled bedsheets. Just the thought of that forces her to make a mental note to hire a cleaning lady to come in at least twice a week. Mark shakes his head at her when he notices her jotting the reminder down on a piece of paper.

"Your age is starting to show," Addison makes a face.

"I'd like to remind you that _one_ we're the same age and _two_ , I'm a widow raising three small children under the age of six, correction I've got three kids with the flu _and_ I'm running a state of the art surgical department… _what is it that you do all day_? Boob jobs and butt implants?" Her voice is teasing and light as she smirks at him, eyebrow raised in amusement as she peers over the top of her wine-colored glasses. Thankfully, all three children are napping, it gives her a minute to check on the status of her soon-to-be-new home as well as chat with Mark and, start looking over cases (Bailey has finally decided to let her come back in to work…but only a few days a week _and_ she has to leave the hospital by six).

" _Oh yeah_? I've got a six-year-old and an adult daughter whose lesbians mommies broke up and…Sloane's back," Addison's eyes widen.

"Wait… _Sloane's back_?" Mark nods.

"Oh my god; how long has it been?"

"Just before Sofia was born," Mark mutters.

"So what, seven years maybe?" Addison shakes her head before glancing over at Mark.

"She's not pregnant again, is she?" Mark gently reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck, which is never a good sign.

"Oh god Mark she's pregnant again?" Mark holds up his hands in defense.

"She is, but…she's also married," Addison blinks several times because she cannot believe what she's hearing.

"Wait, Sloane, Sloane-Sloan-"

"Her last name is Reilly,"

"Whatever, Sloane-Sloan is married?"

"Got married a few years ago; she'd heard about the crash and because of how things ended between us she didn't come around…but now that her husband's a resident at the hospital she figured-"

" _She married a doctor_?"Mark makes a face.

"Sorry…seeing her, after all, that time had to have been a shock," Addison reaches out to gently squeeze his bicep.

"It was; she was even more shocked that I'd had another kid…do you know she thought you and I had-" Addison chuckles.

"We tried that a time or two and it didn't work out," Just as Addison turns to walk away, Mark reaches out to grab her hand.

Everything stands still.

They'd been down this road before and while she knows Mark means no harm by the gesture, it stirs up something inside of her. Something that makes her heart yearn and ache for intimacy and love, and yes, sex because she hasn't had sex since her husband died. Mark can sense the shift in the room and quickly pulls back.

"I'm sorry Red, I didn't mean to-"

"No Mark, it's not you I just…sometimes, I get lonely and I miss the affection. Sure, Henry, Raphael, and Isabella are affectionate but-"

"A kiss and a hug from little kids doesn't always quite do the job huh?" Addison chuckles, tucking a piece of hair behind her ears.

"It's been five years and it still doesn't feel right," Mark murmurs just as she heads into the kitchen area of her hotel suite. She pauses and turns around to look at him, curiously tilting her head to the side.

"Lexie's been dead for five years and the thought of hugging and kissing someone that isn't her still gets to me," Mark looks down and traces the rim of his cup before continuing,

"I promised Lexie that we'd have a life together; I told her we'd have kids, that she'd be a great surgeon. I promised her a lifetime together and to complete that or to even attempt to start over with somebody…I get it, Addison," Addison leans against the counters and stares at him.

"But you've been on dates in the last five years, right? Derek said-"

"I went on dates at the insistence of Derek and Callie…' _Lexie wouldn't want you moping around forever_ ', that was their guilt line,"

"So you went out on dates out of obligation," It's more of a statement than a question and Mark nods.

"All of the dates ended terribly; can you believe that? Mark Sloan, the biggest manwhore on both the East and the West coast unable to have a successful date?" It's meant to be a joke and they both laugh, but they understand the unspoken meaning behind it.

"What happened with that girl you were dating…the redhead?"

"Julia?"

"Yeah, her; you never tried to-"

"I told her that I was still in love with Lexie; I've seen her since then, been out on a date or two with her but, we decided not to go any further because of the looming cloud over our heads and what I'd said to her before. She found a great guy; she's married now,"

"Do you think you'll ever be ready? Not to fall in love again but-"

"I don't know; you know me, I've only been in love with two women and both times it never quite worked out," Addison blushes, drops her head and smiles sheepishly.

"So, you don't think that it's possible to love again?" Mark gives her a small smile.

"You found love again after Derek, didn't you?"

"It only took sleeping with my husband's best friend, sleeping with an intern, dating a cop, dating one of my coworkers, almost dating the guy from the rival practice, having an inappropriate relationship with my patient's husband, dating my colleague, dating my best friend's ex-husband…" Mark and Addison chuckle.

"But despite all that, you found love again, didn't you?" Addison's smile becomes sad as she nods.

"Yeah, I did," at this point, she's absently toying with the wedding bands still on her left finger.

"So, it's possible for me to find love again…after Jake I mean?" Mark tilts his head to the side and really studies her for a few moments.

"I think you'll find someone to keep you company, but I think once you've had a serious love like we had with Lexie and Jake, it's hard to make anyone else measure up to that," Addison sighs heavily and shakes her head.

"So basically, I should stay single," Mark shakes his head and smiles.

"I never said that; I think you should get out there and try. You're a beautiful woman; you're strong, smart, successful…guys will be lining up at your door to date you,"

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you gonna stay single forever?"

"Like I said before; I've ever only loved two women in my entire life. One of those women died in a plane crash five years ago,"

"…And the other one?"

"She's not in a good place right now; she just lost her husband a few months ago,"

 _Chapter 25 to follow…_

* * *

 **Don't worry; Addie won't be rushing into anything with anybody anytime soon. The next chapter will be an interlude, a filler chapter if you will. We're not quite finished with the flashbacks so chapter 25 is set to pick up where our last flashback left off.**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

 **Xx**


	25. Chapter 25

New Year's Eve 2017:

New Year's Eve is a bit more subdued than Thanksgiving and Christmas had been. In fact, Addison Montgomery had never expected to be ringing in 2018 living in Seattle as a widow and mom to three small children under the age of five. But here she is, sitting on her patio quietly chatting with old friends.

"2017 has been one _hell of a year_ ," Miranda Bailey muses.

"I'll say," Alex Karev moves to grab another beer out of the cooler.

"Let's be honest; 2017 was a giant cluster fuck," Callie chimes in as Addison laughs.

"It most certainly was," Addison smiles and shakes her head; Callie quietly gives Addison's hand a squeeze.

"There were some pretty good moments; we _did_ get the first woman president," Meredith counters.

"Yeah, but she almost lost to Donald fucking Trump," Mark adds.

"2017 was…well if I'm honest, it was a bit of a blur," Addison's voice is quiet as she looks up at the sky. Jake's been dead for nearly a year and while things have been starting to look up, the thought of spending another holiday without him doesn't get easier.

"2017 had its up and downs but, we all made it; it might not seem like it but, we're all better people because of it," Bailey's voice is strong and it speaks to each person sitting around on the patio.

They'd struggled through public success and private failures and somehow still managed to survive. She's known the group of surgeons long enough to know that the hardships they endured over the last year wouldn't be enough to break them.

"Y'know what? This calls for a toast," Mark surprises everyone by quickly going inside and grabbing a bottle of champagne and a few glasses.

"Mark, what are you doing?" Callie's wearing a grin as Mark goes around slowly pouring a bit of champagne into everyone's glasses.

"2017 was a shitty year, let's make a toast to the New Year; here's hoping that it's a good one, for all of us," Mark briefly locks eyes with Addison before everyone joins in for a toast.

Midnight comes and finds everyone on the back deck; the children snuggled up next to their parents as they watch the fireworks display.

While everyone is occupied with the beauty of the fireworks, Addison quietly makes her way inside; the idea of a ringing in the New Year without Jake or Angela for that matter becomes a little too much for her to bear.

"Addison? You okay in..." Mark doesn't bother to finish his sentence; he's already got his answer. She's standing over the sink quietly sobbing; instantly, he walks over to her and gently places a hand on her back. She turns to look up at him and the words just seem to tumble out,

"I'm sorry I just…I've been trying so hard Mark, so hard. But this year, this moment I just…Jake's dead," The pain in her eyes is like a punch in the gut for Mark. Without thought, he's pulling her into a hug, running his hands through her hair.

"I'm sorry Red; I'm _so, so_ , **so** sorry," It's all he knows how to do right now. He wishes that she wasn't going through this. He knows the pain all too well; he knows about the dark moments, the lonely nights. It's been years since the plane crash but the waves of guilt and sadness still hit him like a ton of bricks from time to time.

After a while, her tears seem to subside and she looks up at him with a small smile.

"Thank you, Mark,"

"Anytime Red," He leans in and kisses her forehead, it's a moment of nostalgia but it sparks something inside them.

Addison pulls back and stares into his eyes for a few moments before leaning in to kiss him. It's soft but quick but still, it sends a flicker of passion through his body. He wants more but resists; she's hurting and he doesn't want to take advantage of her in such a delicate state.

However, she surprises him by pulling him back in for another kiss.

He's weak, unable to resist her; he deepens the kiss, threading his hands through her hair, smoothing them down her back as she grabs the collar of his shirt. It's the most alive he's felt in years and he's probably more than sure it's the same for her.

"Guys, is everything okay…oh, oh I'm sorry I didn't…" They break apart at the sound of Callie's voice. Addison looks over at Mark completely horrified before rushing past him to the bathroom, mumbling an apology to Callie.

"What the hell was that?" Callie's hand is on her hip and she kinda looks pissed.

"Torres, it wasn't what it looked like, I swear!" Mark's hands go up in defense.

"Really? Because it looked like I just walked in on you and Addison kissing,"

"Callie, I swear, I walked in here to check on her and I found her crying and she kissed me and-"

"Wait, she kissed _you_?"

"Yeah," Callie sighs heavily.

"Mark, Addison's in a very fragile place right now. She just lost her husband, she's raising three kids under the age of five, she just moved back to Seattle…be careful with her Mark. I know you two have this, weird sexual history but-"

"It's not like that Torres, I swear. I haven't thought about anybody in a remotely sexual way since Lexie died and I care about Addison too much to hurt her, not right now," Callie smiles softly before moving to press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm gonna see if she's okay; but I meant what I said Mark," With that, Callie carefully makes her way down the hall and into the master bedroom to talk to Addison.

oOoOo

She's pacing.

Her heart is racing and she's pacing the floors of her bathroom. She shouldn't have kissed Mark, and for Callie to walk in on them. She can't even begin to imagine if it had been Miranda, or worse, Derek.

Her mind is a jumbled mess that is thankfully saved by a knock at the door.

"Addison? You okay in there?" Shit, Callie; she probably wants to talk.

"I'm fine Callie," She can hear her friend sigh on the other side of the door.

"We don't have to talk about what happened,"

"Good, because there's nothing to talk about,"

"Addie, I just wanna make sure you're okay…please open the door," It takes a second but, Addison hesitantly opens the door.

"Addie-"

"I'm fine Callie; Mark and I just had…look, it was a lapse in judgment. I was upset and he was there and-"

"Hey, you get no judgment from me; I just wanna see you happy, that's all," Addison smiles sadly.

"I lost my husband, and subsequently my whole world fell apart. I don't know if I can be happy again," Callie gently places a hand on her shoulder and leads her to sit on the bed.

"After the plane crash, Arizona was…different. She was cold and different and she blamed me, Addie. The plane crash almost took her life and it would've if I hadn't made the decision to cut her leg off. I could've lived with a one-legged Arizona, but a world without her in it…" Callie took a deep breath but continued,

"She was so angry at me that she cheated on me and then tried to lie about it. I forgave her but, it just…wasn't the same. Y'know, we tried for a baby, not long after the accident and her cheating?" Addison looks up at her friend in surprise.

"No I…I had no idea,"

"We sorta kept it quiet; we found this nice donor, had a really great doctor but…we lost the baby,"

"Oh Callie, Cal I'm _so_ sorry," Addison wraps an arm around her friend.

"I think what hurts the most is that Arizona didn't even try,"

"What?"

"She was the one who got pregnant this time; after Sofia, my doctors said it'd be too risky for me to try again,"

"But Sofia had nothing-"

"I developed cysts a few years after and there was some damage…endometriosis,"

"Callie…"

"No it's fine; so we decided that Arizona should carry, but she was reluctant. The doctors said the miscarriage was like the baby was violently rejected from her uterus,"

"And you're thinking that it's because she didn't want to try," Callie nods her head.

"We were never the same after that; you know, she cheated on me, _again,_ "

" _Again_?"

"Mmhm, this time with an intern; I just…I couldn't take it anymore. And so, I filed for divorce; it was so hard. Can you believe it? Me, being twice divorced because both my spouses cheated…at least with George, I can admit that it was because we got married so young and he was grieving his father but Arizona? I never thought she'd do that to me and then, she decides to just…completely give up and move back to fucking Malawi. She said she couldn't take it anymore, that being here with me and Sofia was just…she didn't even try," Callie stops to wipe away tears as Addison squeezes her hand.

"Callie, I'm so sorry this happened to you; you didn't deserve that,"

"I'm telling you this because while I can't relate to exactly everything you've gone through I want you to know you can be happy. You've got an incredible group of people here in Seattle and in LA who love you, who care about you, and who only wanna see you happy. It's not gonna come easy that's for sure; being a single mom, trying to juggle being a working mom on top of that and then finding moments to grieve. You're one of the strongest people I know, you're gonna make it through this; just give yourself time,"

"Thanks, Callie,"

oOoOo

Mark is quietly standing in the kitchen when Derek approaches.

"You kissed Addison," Mark turned around, completely surprised.

"Jesus Derek! You scared the hell out of me…and how do you know I kissed Addison?"

"I saw it through the screen door; this house isn't exactly built with lots of privacy," Derek's wearing an easy smile as he approaches his friend.

"Is that why you sent Torres in here?"

"No, I had no idea she was coming in here until she mentioned that Addison had been inside for a while and that she was gonna check on her,"

"You could've at least warned her…or me," There's a long silence between the two of them where nobody says anything until finally, Derek breaks the silence.

"I've known you since we were eight; nothing you do seems to surprise me, except when it comes to Addison," Mark sighs heavily.

"Look, Derek-"

"No, just listen; Addison is…she's special. Out of all of my girlfriends, she's the only one you were ever serious about,"

"What?"

"I said, out of all the women I've dated, Addison's the only one you actually took interest in. You made it your business to be nice to her, to befriend her…how long have you been in love with her Mark?" Mark's eyes widen in shock.

"Derek, what you saw between Addison and I-"

"This isn't about before; this isn't me being mad that you ruined my marriage; it was ruined, to begin with. I loved Addison true enough, but if I'm honest, I married her because it felt right. I married her because it was safe; she deserved more than I could've ever given her. She sure as hell deserved more than what I gave her when she moved to Seattle,"

"So, why didn't you sign the divorce papers?"

"Because I didn't want to take the coward's way out; and because I didn't want to face the fact that I stopped loving her and was too afraid to end it before it got as bad as it did,"

"Shep-"

"She's complicated; she's guarded and stubborn and just went through a living hell. I may not be in love with her anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't care about her. She's in a fragile place Mark, don't play with her heart."

"Derek I-"

"Again, I've known you since we were eight; you're in love with her," Mark sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair.

"Okay, so what if I do? She's not ready Derek,"

"Then wait for her to be, this is different Mark, she's different, you're different. She didn't just lose some guy she was dating; she lost her husband, a man she'd planned on spending the rest of her life with. She also lost a kid and subsequently became a single mom to three children; this isn't something she'll get over soon. If you love her like I think you do, wait for her; let her heal," With that, Derek places a shoulder on his friend's shoulder and walks away.

 _Chapter 26 to follow…_

* * *

 **Hello again!**

 **It took me a very long time to put this chapter together; if I'm honest, I thought about discontinuing it. It's still a possibility but, when I looked at this story, I saw so much potential and hope. I have to admit, it's quite the monster in terms of writing and plotting but, I'm invested in this story. So I can't say how long it'll be before I update it again but, I promise to keep trying. I think the idea is so complex and compelling and well, it's probably in my opinion, my most mature work to date. I hope that you'll keep reading and thank you all once again for your amazing support.**

 **Until next time,**

 **Xx**


	26. Chapter 26

**So I went back and re-read this fic and noticed a HUGE error: I sorta flip-flopped between when the story takes place. There was a chapter where I mentioned Hillary Clinton winning the election, but then I realized that happened in 2016 and most of the story takes place in 2017 *insert shocked face* So to clear up a few things, here's the timeline:**

 **So if Private Practice were still on the air, it would be going into its 12** **th** **Season. The story is set during what would've been the show's 10** **th** **season, so that would be sometime around 2016-2017. The story starts in May of 2017 (though Jake is said to have died in April and went to South America to visit Angela sometime in March). Also to clear up a few more things, Henry should be nearing 6, Amelia's son would be slightly younger than Henry, Sofia would be 7, Zola would be about 8, possibly 9. Izzie and Alex's twins would be around Henry's age or the same age as Amelia's son. Jake and Addison got married at the end of season 6 (2013). Angela presumably got pregnant about a year after the finale. Her son's father is her English Professor, whom she moved to South America with. After she got pregnant, he cut off all communication with her and has nothing to do with their son. The identity of Isabella's father is unknown and will probably remain that way for the entirety of the story.**

 **Now that we've cleared that up, from this point with the exception of a few more flashbacks, the story will take place in real-time.**

 **I think that's all of the things I need to correct so far. Please enjoy Chapter 26!**

 **Xx**

 ****Warning: this chapter contains strong racially motivated language and talk that is reflective of our current political climate. Basically, I'm gonna use some racial slurs…****

* * *

Seattle, February 2018

His name is Steve and he works in Cardio.

Steve is…he's relatively nice; he stands at a solid five-feet-eleven inches tall, which matches her height, as long as she's not wearing any heels. They have been on three dates so far and…

Addison absolutely fucking hates him.

It had been Preston Burke's idea to set her up on a blind date with Steve, and while she loves Preston, thinks him to be an incredible surgeon, she really, really wants to smack him for this.

Steve reminds her of Connecticut, and of Bizzy; she thinks that Bizzy would've approved of him. That makes her resent him all the more but still, her therapist thinks she should 'try dating'; after all, it's been nearly a year since Jake's death and for some reason, a year is a respectable amount of time to mourn.

What a load of bullshit she thinks to herself.

He'd taken her to the Georgian, a nice, very upscale French Restaurant over on University. And as much as Addison loves fine dining from restaurants with food that the average American cannot pronounce, this is the last place she'd rather be. There are a million things Addison Montgomery wishes she was doing right now and none of them include sitting here with Steve from Cardio.

Steve's mouth is moving; oh, right, he'd been talking to her.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" He always tries to engage her in polite conversation whenever they go out. Somehow he always ends up complaining about Hilary Clinton and how she should be in prison, about how her policies and how they're running the fabric of our country and-

"If Trump were in office he would've built that wall so those drug dealers and rapists wouldn't be infesting our country,"

The whole world seems to stop.

"I'm sorry Steve, what did you say?"

"Look, I know you've got two grandkids who are…well, they're not the people I'm talking about," Steve says dismissively before he goes on another rant about,

"And those fucking Niggers! They think they're so entitled to everything just because of slavery! It's been over 150 years since that ended, why can't they just…do like regular Americans and get off welfare and get a goddamn job?"

Addison just stares at him, really and truthfully stares at him, because listening to him takes her back to her childhood and hearing Bizzy and The Captain talk like this, but in more hushed tones about people of color in this exact way. In fact, it points out some of her own biases about people of color and she cannot stand it. When the waiter passes by, she quietly signals for the check, suddenly thankful that she'd driven her own car because this date, is officially over.

"Is something wrong?" Steve has the nerve to look at her like those filthy words hadn't just come out of his mouth.

"Steve, I don't think we should continue seeing each other," Addison gives him the sweetest smile as she stands.

"Oh, don't take offense to what I said! I'm right and you know it! They're nothing but-"

"Did you forget that my son is Black? Did you forget that my husband was Latino, that my daughter Angela was Latino?" She's seething, could punch someone, something with all of the anger building up inside of her.

"Addison, I didn't mean it like-"

"Did you forget that Miranda is Black, and Preston, and Richard? What about Derek and Meredith's daughter Zola? Steve, you work with People of Color every single day, how can you say things like this?"

"Addison, I don't mean them, they're not…they're not like that. They're civilized people,"

" _Oh are they_? Because I've heard you complain several times about Miranda being the Chief," Steve sighs heavily.

"Look, I'm not necessarily fond of her being chief because-"

"Why? Because she's a Black woman," Steve rolls his eyes at her.

"No, because I don't feel like she earned it…and yes, maybe I do feel like Richard gave it to her because he favors her," Addison rolls her eyes.

She understands what he means; he gave it to her because she was Black and because she was a woman. Oh yes, there's been talk about how the position of Chief of Surgery should've gone to someone more deserving. She's heard the rumors about how Miranda must've had something on Richard for her to blackmail him into making her chief when he stepped down. Seattle Grace may be known for its innovative surgery and its brilliant surgeons, but that doesn't mean it's immune to racist and sexist behaviors and cultures.

"Miranda Bailey has busted her ass at that hospital for years, has put up with all kinds of racism, and sexism. Not to mention that she's ten times the surgeon you'll ever be," Steve sighs heavily and shakes his head.

"Look, I know you're…connected to them but if you weren't so close, you'd see what I mean," Surprisingly, Steve pays for the meal and walks away, leaving Addison completely stunned.

oOoOo

"Wait, he said that?!" Callie and Addison are having lunch the following afternoon following a five-hour surgery.

"Yup; can you believe the nerve of that man? I just…ugh!" Callie brought lunch today; a simple batch of chicken salad.

"Wow; how did you even end up going out on a date with him?" Addison rolls her eyes.

"Preston Burke; apparently, there are people here who feel like I need to move on with my life, start dating because I've been in mourning for too long," Callie is silent at that.

"Don't tell me you-"

"I think…I think you have spent the better part of the past year mourning Jake, which is understandable. You lost your husband and your daughter and you gained two more kids in the process..." Callie's words are kind and gentle

"But," Addison prompts.

"But, you're avoiding," Addison sighs heavily and rolls her eyes.

"How am I avoiding Callie, what could I possibly be avoiding?"

"You won't let anyone bring up Jake, you refuse to go to LA, you have yet to hire a nanny for your kids, hire a maid…hell if Derek hadn't offered you the McDream house you would've still been living in your apartment. Addison, I love you, but you cannot make time stand still. Do I think you should be dating? No, but do I think you're only making small progress because you haven't come to grips with the reality that Jake is dead…yeah, I do,"

Santa Julia, South America

A _ddison Montgomery has been into a morgue dozens, if not millions of times. She's seen dead bodies, has identified them (she was there when the coroner pulled back the sheet on Bizzy), but nothing could've prepared her for this._

 _She was standing in the middle of a morgue, two bodies on slabs covered in White sheets that were presumably the bodies of Jake and Angela._

 _The coroner is surprisingly a White man a slightly older White man. He has two assistants, a young Hispanic man and an Asian woman beside him. He seems to know who Addison is before she introduces herself._

 _"Dr. Montgomery, I'm a fan of your work; I hare that we're meeting under such terrible circumstances,"_

 _His condolences are like pennies in her mouth; she can't fathom saying 'thank you'._

 _The coroner, Dr. Miller, seems to understand how delicate the situation is and presents it as though it's in a hospital setting._

 _"Dr. Yu, can you tell us about our patients?" Dr. Yu is a few inches shorter than Addison; her hair is pulled back into a pun. She's wearing dark colored scrubs, a deep purple color._

 _"51-year-old Jake Reilly, the victim of a Whitewater rafting accident. According to reports and eyewitness accounts, Dr. Reilly went on an amateur rafting excursion with five other passengers. The group is said to have started in class one of water but somehow ended up in class six waters. Two of the passengers fell overboard; Dr. Reilly attempted to save them but faced severe trauma from the impact of the waves. Dr. Reilly and the other passengers were said to have been in the water for nearly 45 minutes before rescue teams found them. Dr. Reilly was initially awake upon transportation but became unresponsive en route. He was pronounced dead at approximately 3:23 p.m. based on the autopsy, Dr. Reilly is said to have died from blunt force trauma, most likely caused by rocks in the river as well as other rafting objects; he also sustained injuries as a result of traumatic stress. He was slightly hypothermic; he suffered minor external cuts and lacerations as well as signs of complications from submersion," The room is silent for all of three minutes after Dr. Yu explains what happened to Jake._

 _"Dr. Montgomery?" Dr. Miller gently looks over at Addison; her face is blank, void of any emotion or feeling. She closes her eyes and takes a slow, steady breath. She's trying to process, to picture in her head what happened; Jake's final moments. After a few moments, she opens her eyes and turns to Dr. Miller, a pained expression on her face._

 _"Can I…can I see-" Dr. Miller doesn't let her finish the sentence, he knows what she wants. He's seen many doctors in this position; it's in their instinct to act as doctors and not as loved ones. Most of them want the medical details, no matter how gory they are. Dr. Miller nods as the other doctor, Dr. Ruiz, slowly pulls back the sheet._

 _Any hope she'd had about this all being one big go out of the window; she'd know that body anywhere, it's definitely Jake. Slowly, Addison moves towards the metal slab Jake's body is lying on. He looks…ironically peaceful; she dare not look down, lest she sees the very large y-cut in his chest. He skin, his usually perfectly tanned skin looks slightly ashen and his lips are just a tinge of blue. Her hand is shaking when she reaches out to touch his face and god the tears are coming and she can't stop them. She has to look around the room to figure out where the labored breathing and soft weeping sound is coming from. She quickly realizes those noises are coming from her. It takes everything inside of her not to shake as she leans in to kiss him, murmuring a quiet 'I'm so sorry this happened to you'. Once she rights herself she turns back to the autopsy team, wanting to know exactly what happened to Angela._

Chapter 27 to follow…

* * *

 **It got a little dark towards the end but, we needed, or rather, Addison needed to have this moment. We're making progress with this story, yay! I'm hoping to push out another update real soon, but in the meantime, you're more than welcome to re-read this fic, or check out some of my other Grey's Anatomy works and, if you're a fan of Once Upon a Time, you're more than welcome to read those fics too!**

 **Take Care,**

 **Xx**


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